Thursday, September 21, 2006



Eddie Cochran, 'Summertime Blues':

"Gonna take two weeks, gonna have a fine vacation
I'm gonna take my problem to the United Nations.
Well, I called my congressman and he said, quote:
"I'd like to help you son but you're too young to vote!""

But we're not.

Bush was of course quite right not to respond to Chubez & Ahmadeadmeat.

It would only have elevated these vermin; they're not even "presidents", as they were self-selected, not elected.

Indeed, they're guilty of all the crimes that the Left accuses Bush of: stealing elections, war-mongering, subverting neighbors, sponsoring terrorism, undermining courts, quashing dissent, blah blah blah.

George Wallace once said there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between Democrats and Republicans. Today, there isn't a dime's worth of difference between Democrats and every tin-pot America-hating dictator out there. That's why Pelosi & Rangel are out there calling Chavez names.

Pollster: "You've got to put some distance between yourselves and Chavez."

Pelosi: "But...but, he reads Saint Chomsky--just like us!"

Pollster: "That's the problem; people can't tell you apart."

Pelosi: "Hugo is a great man--he even gives fuel oil to poor Americans!"

Pollster: "Americans don't like him. And they can't tell the difference between your rhetoric and his."

Pelosi: "I don't care what you say. President Chavez is a great leader and a visionary."

Pollster: "Do you really want to lose this election?"


Pelosi: "How dare that little punk Chavez come here and insult our President!"

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Barking Mad 


'Truthers'...And Consequences

"(CNN) -- Nearly 50 years since an alleged UFO was sighted at Roswell, New Mexico, a new CNN/Time poll released Sunday shows that 80 percent of Americans think the government is hiding knowledge of the existence of extraterrestrial life forms.

While nearly three-quarters of the 1,024 adults questioned for the poll said they had never seen or known anyone who saw a UFO, 54 percent believe intelligent life exists outside Earth."

Now wait a damn minute--80% believe that the government is hiding information on space aliens--but only 54% believe that aliens even exist?

That means that a full 26% of Americans think that the government is hiding information on aliens--aliens that they believe don't exist in the first place!

That's crazy.

Not as crazy as the "Truther" crowd, but still crazy.

These "Truthers" alone know The Truth: that George Bush took out the Twin Towers. The story goes something like this:

Bush had Col. Harlan Sanders removed from his cryogenic chamber in the limestone caves of Karl'sBad, Kentucky. After thawing him out, Bush recommissioned the Colonel and reactivated his 11 super-secret Chickenhawk Brigades to grease the unholy Skids of War.

George Bush also personally caused Hurricane Katrina with his 15 Megawatt coal-fired barbecue grill, shoplifted for him from Target by Claude Allen. Don Rumsfeld took all the Humvee armor from the troops in Iraq and put it on those schoolbuses so they wouldn't float. In an evil scheme first concocted by Prescott Bush and Albert Speer at the Wolf's Lair in 1943, Bush blew those levees. And he sent Flight 93 to destroy the Capitol Building so no one would be left to stand in his way.

Now that Ann Richards is deceased, it's just a matter of time before someone "questions the timing" and we learn how Bush dispatched Dick Cheney "shoot her in the face" to "avenge Poppy". The proof? A closed casket, of course.

Can't you see?--she knew too much! WAKE UP, AMERICA!!!!

According to these paranoids, the Pentagon was also in on it. By this "logic", those Pentagon employees who died on Sept. 11th PLANNED THEIR OWN DEATHS! Yes! Such was their loyalty to the BushJunta!

One expects such insanity from terrorist sympathizers, who congratulate bin Laden for felling the Towers in one breath and blame Bush for it in the next. But for putatively civilized people to mimic them is beyond the bounds of any political discourse.

They're quite mad, you know. Barking Mad.

Steyn has been tangling with these nut-jobs. And Jonah Goldberg put it well:

"There is a virulent form of unpatriotism festering in America today. Like an algae bloom that deprives life of oxygen, it starves democracy of the air of reason. It now thrives on what we call the far Left, but like a dead zone off the coast, it moves with the tides. I am referring to the seditious dementia of conspiracy theories, the death of faith not in some mere administration or Congress but in America itself."

I lived through the assassinations of the '60's, Viet Nam, Watergate and Nixon, Hoover and the Weathermen, The Reagan Revolution...and I've never seen the Left as whacked-out, demented and looney as it is today.

The reason I say that is because even mainstream Democrats are becoming infected with the Conspiracy Virus. For example, I heard one liberal talk-show host--not a complete nut--take call after call from listeners who spouted conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. Instead of shooting them down and telling them they were hurting their party, all he could muster was "Well, you can't put anything past this crowd."

Yes, there are things you can put past "this crowd".

Even some elected Democrats have mouthed these conspiracy theories, though usually with some disclaimer like "Some say..." or "We don't know for sure, but...", hoping to reap the support of the Moon-Bat Wing without being caught sleeping with them in the Bat-Cave.

When they're not acting out their impeachment fantasies on Capitol Hill or filming their assassination fantasies for theatrical release, Lefties from politics, the academy, the arts and the media have all joined in the fun.


It must partly be of the frustration that comes with the failure to win elections--a subject, naturally, with its own complete sub-set of conspiracy theories. Did you know, for example, that if Democrats fail to win the upcoming elections--THERE WILL NEVER AGAIN BE FREE ELECTIONS HELD IN THIS COUNTRY!?

The Monkey-Meat Media has some culpability as well. They have relentlessly lied, smeared, twisted, spun, distorted and even invented the record in order to "Get Bush!". Ironically, the most committed Conspiracy Theorists are convinced that the Media are part of the Bush Cabal, simply because they don't usually begin their evening broadcasts by burning him in effigy.

It also partly stems from Al Gore's national temper tantrum, his honorless decision to retract his concession and selfishly poison the well if he couldn't have his way.

No doubt some of it springs from the normal stresses of war. But part of it is just inexplicable and must simply be attributed to Bush Dementia Syndrome (BDS), a sort-of catch-all diagnosis that includes such related maladies as:

Sudden Onset Bush Dementia (S.O.B.-D.)
Chronic Halliburtosis (CH)
Bushfaulten-by-Proxy Syndrome (BPS)
Whooping Ashcroft (WA)
Post-Selection Stress Disorder (PSSD)
Seborrheic Kerrytosis (SK)
SIDS Blumenthalia (SB)
Rovian Typhoon Fever (RTF)
Aquired Immunity From Facts Syndrome (AIFFS)

...and a host of others, all of which lead inexorably to End-Stage Perpetually Pathological & Permanently Paranoid Bushophobia (ESPPPPB).

This is a condition in which George W. Bush is held to have personally planned and executed Every Bad Thing That Has Ever Happened Or Will Happen Since The Dawn of Recorded History (EBTTHEHOWHSTDRH).

I realize that for the truly ill, mocking their idiotic claims is only further proof that their claims are true. In fact, ridiculing this neurotic swill proves that I must be a member of The Conspiracy. Yes--its true! I own an Illuminati Decoder Ring!


This kind of paranoid assininity is damaging to our country. It says that our political opponents are not just wrong, not even dangerously wrong. Nor even merely evil, for that matter--but James-Bond-villian-"I-Shall-Rule-the-World-BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"-evil.

Worse, it is done under the guise of "patriotism". As it turns out, Samuel Johnson, the great British statesman, had these clowns pegged two and a half centuries ago (...and I "question the timing!").

Mr. Johnson:

"Patriotism having become one of our topicks, Johnson suddenly uttered, in a strong determined tone, an apophthegm, at which many will start: 'Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.' But let it be considered, that he did not mean a real and generous love of our country, but that pretended patriotism which so many, in all ages and countries, have made a cloak for self-interest."--Boswell's Life of Johnson.

"To love their country has been considered as virtue in men, whose love could not be otherwise than blind, because their preference was made without, a comparison; but it has never been my fortune to find, either in ancient or modern writers, any honourable mention of those, who have, with equal blindness, hated their country."- Samuel Johnson, 'Taxation No Tyranny'

"Some claim a place in the list of patriots, by an acrimonious and unremitting opposition to the court. This mark is by no means infallible. Patriotism is not necessarily included in rebellion. A man may hate his king, yet not love his country." [...]

"A man sometimes starts up a patriot, only by disseminating discontent, and propagating reports of secret influence, of dangerous counsels, of violated rights, and encroaching usurpation. This practice is no certain note of patriotism. To instigate the populace with rage beyond the provocation, is to suspend publick happiness, if not to destroy it. He is no lover of his country, that unnecessarily disturbs its peace. Few errours and few faults of government, can justify an appeal to the rabble; who ought not to judge of what they cannot understand, and whose opinions are not propagated by reason, but caught by contagion." [...]

"It is the quality of patriotism to be jealous and watchful, to observe all secret machinations, and to see publick dangers at a distance. The true lover of his country is ready to communicate his fears, and to sound the alarm, whenever he perceives the approach of mischief. But he sounds no alarm, when there is no enemy; he never terrifies his countrymen till he is terrified himself. The patriotism, therefore, may be justly doubted of him, who professes to be disturbed by incredibilities."--Samuel Johnson, 'The Patriot'

Or to paraphrase the Army's Attorney General Joseph Welch from 1954:

"Let us not assassinate this president further, Senators. You 'Truthers' have done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sirs? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"

The Shame is Out There.

Find it.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Double-Minded (pt. 2) 


"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die."-- G. K. Chesterton

He said "almost".

But embracing the most cognitively dissonant contradictions is the price of admission on the Left today. For example, the glaringly self-contradictory term "Senate Intelligence".

To be a Leftie today, you must believe both...

...that Richard Nixon ushered in the Age of Fascism in America when he threatened to take away CBS' broadcast license in 1972...but when Harry Reid and Hillary Milhaus Rodham threaten ABC's broadcast license in 2006, it is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

...that JFK was a victim of rogue intelligence officers and other officials who wanted to subvert the elected government and run their own foreign policy...but Valerie and Joe Plame are victims of GWB.

...that Bush 41 went to Paris in 1980, collaborating with the Iranians in an "October Surprise"...but bin Laden and Hussein would never dream of collaborating.

...that man-made global warming is unassailable scientific fact...as is Pluto's planetary status.

...that Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Reagan and Bush 41--Fascists all. And George W. Bush--Super-Duper Fascist!...but President Ahmadinejad --definitely not a Fascist!

...that National Exceptionalism is a crude, dangerous, jingoistic belief held by arrogant nationalistic bullies...but only the Glory That is France can possibly save the world.

...that the Commander-in-Chief of the United States has no Constitutional right to declassify state secrets in order to make a political case...but the Publisher-in-Chief of the New York Times does.

...that Iraq was ALL ABOUT THE OIL!...but Oil for Food was all about the food.

...that the flap of a butterfly's wing can set in motion a chain of events that ultimately causes a hurricane...but clearly, the butterfly in question was acting on orders from Karl Rove.

...that Marines are baby-killers...but abortionists are on the front lines of freedom, defending our precious Rights for the sake of our children and grand-children.

...that Diebold is conspiring with Republicans to steal elections from Democrats...by not counting all the Democrat votes cast by the Deceased-American Community, housepets and imaginary friends.

...that as a Progressive, you are a member of a non-violent, life-affirming, gay-friendly, pro-woman, secular democratic Movement of the Future...which naturally has allied itself with a brutal, misogynistic, homosexual-stoning, tyrannical theocratic 7th-century Death Cult.

...that when Pres. Bush talks about terrorism, he's "leaking national security secrets" and "playing politics"...and when he doesn't, he's "being secretive" and "ducking the issue".

...that when we turn down the thermostat in a terrorist's cell to Jimmy-Carter-in-a-Cardigan levels, it is "torture" that will scar him for life...but when two Fox reporters are kidnapped, hooded, forced to convert and make propaganda videos at gun-point, they "were released unharmed".

...that Sandy Berger was maliciously slandered by "The Path to 9-11" and he has the documents to prove it...but they're in his underpants and no one wants to read them that badly. (Just kidding--he's not wearing underpants.)

...that when the price of gasoline goes up, it's proof of a plot between Dick Cheney and Big Oil...but when the price of gas goes down, it's proof of a plot between Dick Cheney and Big Oil.

...that for the sake of baby animals, the use of evil pesticides must be curtailed and eventually eliminated...except for the Plan B baby pesticide, which should be made widely available to adolescents over-the-counter.

...that the number of hate crimes will be reduced by enforcing the harshest possible measures against hate-criminals...but enforcing the harshest measures against terrorists only creates more terrorists.

...that we need many more troops to win in Iraq...but if we deploy them, it would prove that we have no chance of winning.

...that conservatives are a superstitious, easily-led supernaturalist cult...but according to Nostradamus, on Sept. 10th, 2001, George W. Bush shaved all his body hair and with the help of bin Laden, Lyndon LaRouche, the Mossad and Kitty Carlyle, Bill Cullen, Peggy Cass, Gene Rayburn, Orson Bean and the rest of the Carlyle Group, crawled through the elevator shafts of the Twin Towers planting explosives on orders from Area 51 and the Illuminati.

..."Gene Rayburn"? No--I can't believe Gene Rayburn was in on it! Charles Nelson Reilly, sure--but not our Gene!

...that Democrats have a bold, new, futuristic vision for fighting the War on Terror...which begins exactly like the Clinton policies of the 90's, continues like the Carter policies of the 70's and ends like Viet Nam.


Monday, September 11, 2006

Let the Healing Begone 


"I will smash them--so help me God!"--Andy Jackson (Democrat, Louisiana)

I don't need my hand held.

I don't want 'closure'--I want Victory.

I don't want to be consoled or counseled.

I don't have 'survivor's guilt'. In fact, we owe it to the dead to live full lives. And we further owe them our resolve to defeat their killers so no other families have to endure what their families endured.

I reject the Therapeutic Culture.

Don't 'feel my pain'. Don't send Oprah or Doctor Phil. Send the 101st Airborne and the Johnny "Mike" Spann's of the world instead.

Do this: kill my enemies.

Hunt them down. Listen to their phone calls. Seize their money. Break up their plots. Waterboard them until they speak. Kill them.

Let these enemies of all mankind worry about "healing" for a change.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

He's Not Perfect 


Our President:

"Soon after the war on terror began, I authorized a system of military commissions to try foreign terrorists accused of war crimes. Military commissions have been used by Presidents from George Washington to Franklin Roosevelt to prosecute war criminals, because the rules for trying enemy combatants in a time of conflict must be different from those for trying common criminals or members of our own military. One of the first suspected terrorists to be put on trial by military commission was one of Osama bin Laden's bodyguards -- a man named Hamdan. His lawyers challenged the legality of the military commission system. It took more than two years for this case to make its way through the courts. The Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit upheld the military commissions we had designed, but this past June, the Supreme Court overturned that decision. The Supreme Court determined that military commissions are an appropriate venue for trying terrorists, but ruled that military commissions needed to be explicitly authorized by the United States Congress." [...]

"Some may ask: Why are you acknowledging this program now? There are two reasons why I'm making these limited disclosures today. First, we have largely completed our questioning of the men -- and to start the process for bringing them to trial, we must bring them into the open. Second, the Supreme Court's recent decision has impaired our ability to prosecute terrorists through military commissions, and has put in question the future of the CIA program. In its ruling on military commissions, the Court determined that a provision of the Geneva Conventions known as "Common Article Three" applies to our war with al Qaeda. This article includes provisions that prohibit "outrages upon personal dignity" and "humiliating and degrading treatment." The problem is that these and other provisions of Common Article Three are vague and undefined, and each could be interpreted in different ways by American or foreign judges. And some believe our military and intelligence personnel involved in capturing and questioning terrorists could now be at risk of prosecution under the War Crimes Act -- simply for doing their jobs in a thorough and professional way.

This is unacceptable. Our military and intelligence personnel go face to face with the world's most dangerous men every day. They have risked their lives to capture some of the most brutal terrorists on Earth. And they have worked day and night to find out what the terrorists know so we can stop new attacks. America owes our brave men and women some things in return. We owe them their thanks for saving lives and keeping America safe. And we owe them clear rules, so they can continue to do their jobs and protect our people." ..................

REMEMBER what you thought when some House-members wanted to claim that separation of powers (specifically, the 'Debate'-clause) gave William Jefferson (Democrat, Louisiana) a right to operate a crime ring out of his office? How it was pure arrogance to claim that the Legislative branch was completely immune from a legitimate search authorized by the Judicial branch and conducted by the Executive branch?

Well, the same thing happened in that steaming pile of excrement we call 'Hamden'.

The Legislative branch stripped the Courts of any jurisdiction in Gitmo cases under the "with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make"- clause. This law was then signed by the Executive.

And, as Justice Scalia noted, for the very first time in history, the Court simply dismissed the Congess' Constitutional prerogative to limit jurisdiction. It was an outrageous anti-constitutional power-grab.

If the Court can re-write treaties at will, then it has effectively stripped the Executive and the Senate of their Constitutional duties to make treaties and arrogated those powers unto themselves. This is becoming a habit at the Court, having done the same in 'Roper'

Now, on to the demerits of the case--which unsurprisingly, also constitute another outrageous anti-constitutional power-grab.

Perhaps the worst aspect of 'Hamden' was the granting of Geneva Convention protections to terrorists.

Terrorists did not sign this treaty. They behead prisoners. They wear no uniforms. They hide among civilians, thus endangering them. They target civilians. They reject the very concept of "Laws of War', they abide by none of its strictures and violate all its tenets. Yet they will be awarded its protections?

You might think that being a member of a gang of war criminals would earn you prosecution under the Laws of War--but to liberals, it automatically qualifies you for the protection of those Laws instead.

Why would any party ever sign such an agreement in the future if our Court says they receive all the rights--and none of the duties--anyway? The question troubles not our all-knowing Court, no longer content to stand just the Constitution on its head, but the Geneva Conventions as well.

In order to reach the desired result, Justice Stevens bizarrely asserted that the Global War on Terror was a "conflict not of an international character".

Evidently when al Qaedaists from Saudi Arabia, Morocco and Egypt fly planes into Manhattan skyscrapers and Washington D.C. landmarks at the behest of a Yemeni-born madman living in Afghanistan and Pakistan...it is merely a municipal zoning dispute gone bad!

Just as liberals coddle criminals domestically, they wish to coddle terrorists internationally.

Four liberal Justices asserted that these terrorists had the right to every secret our government posesses in order to defend themselves. If an armed robber knows how the police caught him, he cannot use that information to rob another liquor store while in custody. But if a terrorist knows all our secrets, that information will be passed along to continue the war against us even while he is still in custody. We are at war, not "at crime".

As President Bush noted, liberal Justices have now made "humiliation" of terrorists a punishable War Crime. Given the state of our jurisprudence, who can say what that even means?

Soldier #1: "Leavenworth's not so bad. So--what are you guys in for?"

Soldier #2: " I committed an "outrage on personal dignity"--I handed Khalil Sheik Muhammed his Koran without my "infidel cooties"-gloves on."

Soldier #3: "I was a cook at Gitmo. One day, I was distracted by an oven fire and I served the lamb kabob cold."

Soldier #4: "I failed to 'smile effusively' enough, thus creating a 'hostile detainee environment' and causing the terrorists to 'suffer self-esteem issues'. I had no idea "self-esteem" was even in the Geneva Convention!"

Soldier #5: "It is now. They charged me with "humiliation"--I turned down a detainee's request for a conjugal visit."

Soldier #1: "Why did you do that?"

Soldier#5: "It was with my wife! But you never told us why you're in here..."

Soldier#1: "I'm...I'm so ashamed...I was an interrogator. I sometimes asked detainees...questions! Even when they didn't want to answer! But that's not the worst of it; I once told a terrorist 'Your mother wears Army boots'!"

Everyone: "Oooooh...!"

Soldier#2: "Hey; if we're all in Leavenworth, who's guarding the detainees?"

Soldier #3: "The Supreme Court put them on the Honor System. Sorta' like Sandy Berger at the National Archives."

Soldier #4: "I wish they'd do that here."

Soldier #5: "Sorry, boys; we're just soldiers. Honor is for terrorists."

Justice Thomas:

"...[I]t is clear that this Court lacks jurisdiction to entertain petitioner’s claims. The Court having concluded otherwise, it is appropriate to respond to the Court’s resolution of the merits of petitioner’s claims because its opinion openly flouts our well-established duty to respect the Executive’s judgment in matters of military operations and foreign affairs. The Court’s evident belief that it is qualified to pass on the “military necessity,”of the Commander in Chief’s decision to employ a particular form of force against our enemies is so antithetical to our constitutional structure that it simply cannot go unanswered."

Or as James Madison put it, "In a government whose vital principle is responsibility, it never will be allowed that the Legislative and Executive Departments should be compleatly subjected to the Judiciary, in which that characteristic feature is so faintly seen."

Just as liberal judges have never taken responsibility for how many Americans they have sentenced to be raped, robbed and murdered through criminal-coddling decisions such as 'Miranda', they will never take responsibility should their terrorist-coddling rulings result in American deaths.

In her recent juvenile and cartoonish NSA ruling, which was little more than a DNC press release masquerading as law, Judge Nara Lee Taylor sanctimoniously intoned "There are no hereditary kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution...".

The closest we come to "kings" in this country are lifetime, unelected, unaccountable and all-but-unremovable permanent judges. And when they abandon the Constitution, the People and all common sense in favor of their personal preferences, radical politics and fantastic and astounding newly-invented "Rights" for malcontents, criminals and terrorists, they may someday find that the People have abandoned them.

To paraphrase that great Constitutional Law expert Bart Simpson:

"Liberal judges---is there anything they don't know?"


their role in a Constitutional Republic.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com Site Meter