Sharp Knife

PROBLEM IS,

the Constitution isn’t optional. Unless you’re a liberal.

It’s funny; liberals easily find in the Constitution new and novel rights never before seen in the entire history of mankind…but they can’t locate a right to bear arms. Or they think that ‘Das Kapital’, ‘The Kinsey Report’ and ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ are pure holy writ, etched in stone and binding in all cases whatsoever…but the Constitution is fungible, a mere archaic stumbling block on the way to The Radiant Future, with all the binding authority of a Do Not Remove mattress tag.

Case in point; Robert Wexler (D.-At Large) decided he could dispense with the Constitutional requirement to reside in his district. Here’s what your Constitution says: “No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.”

It doesn’t say a word about claiming your in-laws Florida house as your own while you actually permanently reside in Maryland. Incidentally, Beltway Bob has had a tough week; when Chris Matthews and Wexler tried to pretend every person in the world hates George W. Bush like they do, Rep. Heather Wilson (who actually lives in her district!) factually yanked his zipper up hard in mid-stream, leaving him wetting on his own shoes. It was beautiful.

The Founders knew what they were doing. Abraham Lincoln put it like this: “I do not mean to say we are bound to follow implicitly in whatever our [Founding] fathers did. To do so, would be to discard all the lights of current experience—to reject all progress—all improvement. What I do say is, that if we would supplant the opinions and policy of our fathers in any case, we should do so upon evidence so conclusive, and argument so clear, that even their great authority, fairly considered and weighed, cannot stand…”

And they even left us a way to change the Constitution. I do not refer here to the ever-evolving state of Justice Steven’s digestion or whatever happens to be convenient for “Homeless Bob” Wexler; I mean the Amendment process.

It’s right there in the Constitution, Robert. Really. You should read it sometime when you're hanging out around the house.

Wherever that is.

FOR PRESIDENT,

sadly, is unavailable this year--but still available to us in this way:

"I urge you to beware the temptation of pride -- the temptation of blithely declaring yourselves above it all and label both sides equally at fault, to ignore the facts of history and the aggressive impulses of an evil empire, to simply call [it] a giant misunderstanding and thereby remove yourself from the struggle between right and wrong and good and evil.

I ask you to resist the attempts of those who would have you withhold your support for our efforts, this administration's efforts, to keep America strong and free ... While America's military strength is important, let me add here that I've always maintained that the struggle now going on for the world will never be decided by bombs or rockets, by armies or military might. The real crisis we face today is a spiritual one; at root, it is a test of moral will and faith."--Ronald Reagan, 'The Evil Empire', 1982

True then, true now.

CERTAINLY

wasn't my first choice...but he is now.

"We need to change the way government does almost everything: from the way we protect our security from the threats of our time to the way we compete in the world economy; from the way we respond to man made and natural disasters to the way we fuel our transportation network; from the way we educate our children and prepare them for new economic opportunities to the way we run our air traffic control system. All these functions of government were designed before the rise of the global economy, the information technology revolution and the end of the Cold War. We have to catch up to history, and to do so we are going to have to really change the way we do business in Washington.

My concern with Senator Obama is that on issues big and small, what he says and what he does are often two different things, and that he doesn’t seem to understand that the policies he offers would make our problems harder not easier to solve.

Senator Obama says he’s going to change Washington, but his solution is to simply make government bigger, and raise your taxes to pay for it. We’ve been doing that for years, and it hasn’t worked. In the few years he’s been in the Senate, he has requested nearly a billion dollars in pork barrel spending. That’s nearly a million dollars for every day he’s been in office.

I’ve never asked for a single pork barrel project for my state of Arizona, and as President, I will veto every bill that wastes your money, and make the authors famous. I will order a top to bottom review of every government program before I give them one additional dollar of funding. Those programs that are doing important work for the American people have nothing to fear from me. Those that can be modernized and made more effective will find me a willing partner. And those that have outlived their usefulness to you, and waste your money on things you neither want nor need, are going out of business whether they like it or not.

Senator Obama says he will only raise taxes on the rich. But in the Senate, he voted for tax hikes that would have impacted those making just $32,000 per year. He has proposed tax increases on income taxes, capital gains taxes, dividend taxes, Social Security taxes – pretty much anything that you can tax, he wants to tax more. Raising taxes in a bad economy is about the worst thing you could do because they would kill more jobs in an economy that‘s already losing too many. I‘m going to keep current tax rates low, and cut others, not because I want to make the rich richer, but because it keeps jobs in America and creates new ones, and gets our economy moving again by making sure you have more money to spend and save as you see fit.

Senator Obama says he wants energy independence, but he is opposed to new drilling at home; he is opposed to nuclear power; he is opposed to encouraging the invention of an affordable electric car that can run a hundred miles or more before it needs to be re-charged. He has even criticized wind and hydropower. He has said the high cost of gasoline doesn’t bother him, only that it rose too quickly. He believes every domestic energy source has a problem. I believe every energy source needs to be part of the solution. We need to develop new advanced alternative energies like wind, solar, tide and biofuels, but we also need to develop more existing energies like nuclear power and clean coal. And we need to stop sending $700 billion a year to countries that don‘t like us very much or care that Americans are suffering, start drilling and producing more oil at home, and bring down the cost of gasoline that is killing our economy.

On Iraq, Barack Obama says he wants peace, but even today he opposes the strategy of the surge that succeeded in Iraq and will succeed in Afghanistan. No rational person could see the progress we’ve made in the last year and a half, and not recognize that the surge, and the brave Americans who made it work, rescued us from a terribly dangerous defeat and put us on the road to victory. I don’t question his patriotism. This country has been as good to Senator Obama as it has been to me, and I’m sure he loves it. He just doesn’t understand how our defeat in Iraq would have left al Qaeda with a base to prepare attacks against us; increased Iranian power in the region; and threatened to draw other countries in the Middle East into a wider war that would have demanded even greater sacrifices from us. He didn’t see the danger in his policy, and so he thinks Iraq was just another issue to play politics with. Just like he doesn’t see that his policy of unconditional withdrawal before we are certain Iraqis can protect the gains we have achieved at the cost of American blood and treasure could result in in renewed violence and a third Iraq war. I hate war, and I know its costs better than many. When I bring our troops home, I intend to keep them home, leaving Iraq secured, and a democratic ally in the Arab heartland.

The bottom line is that Senator Obama's words, for all their eloquence and passion, don’t mean all that much. And that’s the problem with Washington. It is not just the Bush Administration, and it’s not just the Democratic Congress. It's that everyone in Washington says whatever it takes get elected or to score the political point of the day. If Senator Obama doesn’t have the strength to speak openly and directly about how he will address the serious challenges confronting America? How will he be strong enough to really change Washington? We don't need another politician in Washington who puts self-interest and political expediency ahead of problem solving. We need to start putting the country’s interests first, and come together to keep American families safe and help them realize their dreams for a better life.

In war and peace, I have been an imperfect servant of my country. But I have been her servant first, last and always. Whenever I faced an important choice between my country's interests or my own interests, party politics or any special interest, I chose my country. Nothing has ever mattered more to me than the honor of serving America, and nothing ever will. If you elect me President, I will always put our country first. I will put its greatness; its prosperity and peace; and the hopes and concerns of the people who make it great before any personal or partisan interest. We are going to start making this government work for you and not for the ambitions of the powerful. And I will keep that promise every hour of every day I am in office, so help me God."

There's some good stuff in there.

TWO-AND-A-HALF MEN

See if you can correctly identify these three speech excerpts given in Berlin by President Ronald Reagan, President John F. Kennedy and Barry Obama.

#1.) "There are many people in the world who really don't understand, or say they don't, what is the great issue between the free world and the Communist world. Let them come to Berlin.

There are some who say -- There are some who say that communism is the wave of the future. Let them come to Berlin.

And there are some who say, in Europe and elsewhere, we can work with the Communists. Let them come to Berlin.

And there are even a few who say that it is true that communism is an evil system, but it permits us to make economic progress. Lass' sie nach Berlin kommen. Let them come to Berlin."

#2.) "Perhaps this gets to the root of the matter, to the most fundamental distinction of all between East and West. The totalitarian world produces backwardness because it does such violence to the spirit, thwarting the human impulse to create, to enjoy, to worship. The totalitarian world finds even symbols of love and of worship an affront. Years ago, before the East Germans began rebuilding their churches, they erected a secular structure: the television tower at Alexander Platz. Virtually ever since, the authorities have been working to correct what they view as the tower's one major flaw, treating the glass sphere at the top with paints and chemicals of every kind. Yet even today when the sun strikes that sphere--that sphere that towers over all Berlin--the light makes the sign of the cross. There in Berlin, like the city itself, symbols of love, symbols of worship, cannot be suppressed.

As I looked out a moment ago from the Reichstag, that embodiment of German unity, I noticed words crudely spray-painted upon the wall, perhaps by a young Berliner: "This wall will fall. Beliefs become reality." Yes, across Europe, this wall will fall. For it cannot withstand faith; it cannot withstand truth. The wall cannot withstand freedom.

And I would like, before I close, to say one word. I have read, and I have been questioned since I've been here about certain demonstrations against my coming. And I would like to say just one thing, and to those who demonstrate so. I wonder if they have ever asked themselves that if they should have the kind of government they apparently seek, no one would ever be able to do what they're doing again.

Thank you and God bless you all."

#3.)"Tonight, I speak to you not as a candidate for President, but as a citizen – a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world."

[Henry Cabot Lodge: "You may call me selfish if you will, conservative or reactionary, or use any other harsh adjective you see fit to apply, but an American I was born, an American I have remained all my life. I can never be anything else but an American, and I must think of the United States first, and when I think of the United States first in an arrangement like this I am thinking of what is best for the world, for if the United States fails, the best hopes of mankind fail with it."]

"As we speak, cars in Boston and factories in Beijing are melting the ice caps in the Arctic, shrinking coastlines in the Atlantic, and bringing drought to farms from Kansas to Kenya."

[To say that cars in Boston are causing drought in Kenya is both science fiction and the magical thinking of a small child.]

"The two superpowers that faced each other across the wall of this city came too close too often to destroying all we have built and all that we love."

[Wm. F. Buckley, Jr.: “I said to Johnny Carson that to say that the CIA and the KGB engage in similar practices is the equivalent of saying that the man who pushed an old lady into the path of a hurtling bus is not to be distinguished from the man who pushed an old lady out of the path of a hurtling bus: on the grounds that, after all, in both cases someone is pushing old ladies around."]

"And despite past differences, this is the moment when the world should support the millions of Iraqis who seek to rebuild their lives, even as we pass responsibility to the Iraqi government and finally bring this war to a close."

[Wars aren't "finally closed"; they are won or lost. Ask those Germans--they'll tell you.]

"This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet."

[Mental health professionals call this "grandiosity".]

"Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands."

[We don't control the oceans, famines today are usually caused by leftist politics and we've had storms forever.]

"Let us resolve that all nations – including my own – will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere."

[Are you serious?]

"This is the moment to give our children back their future."

[The future that George Bush has stolen from them, because I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posess inside. Give them a sense of pride so they'll know better than to hook up with Bobby Brown. Please.]

BARACK OF NAZARETH

…Nazareth, PA, that is–where typical white people bitterly cling to God and guns. You know, just like the terrorists!

Before the Geneva Conventions Committee and the Cheerleader Media completely outlaw all Khalid Sheik Obama jokes as “Crimes Against Humanity”, I thought I’d write a little humor at the expense of our All-Knowing, All-Sensing, All-Feeling Maha-Barack-y. May the Dalai Obama forgive me.

*A black guy, a white guy, a Christian and a Muslim, a conservative and a liberal, an American and a citizen of the world walk into a bar and order a drink. One drink. That’s because they’re all Barack Obama.

*”Knock, Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“The Surge.”
“The Surge who?”
“The Surge who you were against. Then for. Then against. Then against in Iraq but for in Afghanistan, because Surges never work. Except when they do.”
“Oh–that Surge.”

*Michelle Obama says that she’s finally proud of her country. She says that The Man is holdin’ her down by forcing her to repay her Harvard student loans. She says that people should forego high-paying jobs like hers and work for peanuts in non-profits. She says that a $900 stimulus check wouldn’t even buy her a decent necklace. And she’s such a p.r. genius that her hospital pays her $6,000 per week? She makes Marie Antoinette look like the staff dietician.

*And her husband Count Arugula isn’t helping. He insists that we learn French so that we won’t annoy our waiters when we take our summers on the French Riviera. If Aubama can’t learn French, with his part-time Senate job and John Kerry at his elbow, how does he expect the rest of us to learn it, mercy boo-koo?

*Michelle Obama, John Dillinger, Al Capone and Tony Rezko walk into a job performance review. I don’t know what those guys are doing in this joke because those aren’t the Chicago mobsters she knew. Except for Rezko of course. Anyway, Ms. Obama says to the reviewer “When my husband was a state senator, you paid me $122 thousand per year.” “Yes,” said the reviewer. “And when my husband became a U.S. Senator, you tripled my salary to $317 thousand per year.” “Yes,” said the reviewer. “And now that he’s practically President already, I want you to triple my salary again.” “No,” said the reviewer. “What? You can’t tell a First Lady “no”! You obviously don’t get many First Ladies around here!” said Ms. Obama. “No,” said the reviewer “and at those prices, it’s no wonder!”

*Obama just flew in from overseas and boy, are his wings tired.

*Just kidding–he walked home.

*It was his first foreign trip since last year’s hajj.

*He told the Israelis that he was also a banker and in Germany, he gave a speech entitled “Mr. Gorbachev, Hope Down This Wall!”

Thanks, folks–we’ll be here all week. Tip your waitress.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Despite the best efforts of terrorists and gutless liberal politicians, the American fighting man has all but secured our Victory in Iraq.

I hope we have the decency to give them a victory parade for winning the Battle of Iraq.