Sharp Knife

General Thanksgiving

By the PRESIDENT of the United States Of America

A PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington

A Happy, Safe--and Grateful--Thanksgiving to all!

NO 'STRATEGY'

VDH:

"This is the mantra of the extreme Left: "Bush lied, thousands died." A softer version from politicians now often follows: "If I knew then what I know now, I would never have supported the war.

These sentiments are intellectually dishonest and morally reprehensible for a variety of reasons beyond the obvious consideration that you do not hang out to dry some 150,000 brave Americans on the field of battle while you in-fight over whether they should have ever been sent there in the first place."

Steyn:

"Last week, the Republican majority, to their disgrace and with 13 honorable exceptions, passed an amendment calling on the administration to lay out its "plan" for "ending" the war and withdrawing U.S. troops. They effectively signed on to the Democrat framing of the debate: that the only thing that matters is the so-called exit strategy. The only difference between Bill Frist's mushy Republicans and Harry Reid's shameless Democrats is that the latter want to put a firm date on withdrawal, so that Zarqawi's insurgents can schedule an especially big car bomb to coincide with the formal handover of the Great Satan's cojones.

"Exit strategy" is a defeatist's term. The only exit strategy that matters was summed up by George M. Cohan in the song the Doughboys sang as they marched off to the Great War nine decades ago:

"And we won't come back
Till it's over
Over there!"

And that's the timetable, too."

Could they possibly go any lower? Of course. Bill Clinton, volunteering for self-service in Dubai, told the troops fighting just 200 miles away that they were fighting and dying for a 'big mistake".

Murtha's no coward. But neither is Bush a liar, nor Cheney a 'chickenhawk'. But Murtha has become the Kathleen Blanco of foreign policy; an hysterical old woman, panicked and paralyzed by events. If I thought for a moment that our troops were being used as cannon fodder, I'd be the first to revolt; but it simply isn't true.

Democrats are like a battered child, unconsciously trying to re-create the dysfunction of their youth in their adult lives. Vietnam is their template; America must lose. America is always wrong. America is always the evil aggressor.

There are several valid arguments for withdrawing our troops; one of them is so that we can move on to the Saudi slave-o-crats. But Democrats hope to raise such a cacophony that we will never dare to defend ourselves again. Another valid argument is the infantilizing effect that defending others has on them (see also, Canada, Europe and South Korea, etc.)

We don't need an exit strategy; we need a Victory Strategy.

And here's what one looks like:

Osan Air Base in Osan, Republic of Korea

THE PRESIDENT: "Thank you all. Thank you all very much. (Applause.) Please be seated -- unless you don't have a seat. (Laughter.) Laura and I are so honored to be here. We thought we'd stop by and feel the thunder and the fury of the Mustangs. (Applause.) Thanks for greeting us. It's a privilege to stand with the brave men and women of the 51st Fighter Wing and the 7th Air Force. (Applause.) Our citizens are safer because you're ready to fight tonight. (Applause.) You're serving the cause of liberty on distant frontiers, and I bring a message from home: Your Commander-in-Chief is proud of you, and so is the American people. (Applause.)

For half a century American servicemen and women have stood faithful and vigilant watch here in Korea. You've kept the peace and you secured the freedom won at great cost in the Korean War. You've ensured that no American life was lost in vain. In five decades, since Task Force Smith first landed at Pusan, the world has watched America's steadfast and unwavering commitment to freedom.

Three years of war made America and Korea enduring allies in the struggle for liberty. And five decades of sacrifice by the men and women of our Armed Forces secured peace and democracy on this peninsula. And the world is better off for it. Your courage has brought stability to the region, freedom to millions, and honor to the uniform. Our nation is grateful for your service -- your service for freedom and peace. (Applause.)

The Republic of Korea is now a beacon of liberty that shines across the most heavily armed border in the world. It is a light reaching to a land shrouded in darkness. Together the United States and the Republic of Korea have shown that the future belongs to freedom and one day, all Koreans will enjoy the blessings of freedom. (Applause.)

I'm proud to be traveling with the First Lady, Laura Bush -- (applause) -- and the Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice. (Applause.) I thank General LaPorte and his wife, Judy. I want to thank General Trexler and his wife, Kathie; General Campbell; General Joe Reynes, and his wife, Karen; Command Sergeant Major Barry Wheeler; Command -- Chief Master Sergeant Vance Clarke; Chief Master Sergeant Richard Jette. Thank you all for being here. (Applause.)

I'm pleased to see the military families here. (Applause.) I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sacrifice in the cause of freedom. Our military families stand strong, and America appreciates you very much. (Applause.)

I visited Osan before and I notice you've got an impressive runway here -- a lot of room for any pilot, so as Air Force One was approaching, I told our pilot, no excuses, you better spike it at Osan. (Laughter.) And he did. This air base and runway were armed earned by the determination and the grit of the United States military, and a brave coalition of the willing. Not far from here, during the Korean War, Captain Louis L. Millett took Hill 180. (Applause.) Faced with superior numbers, Captain Millett withheld communist forces by leading the first bayonet charge by a U.S. Army company since World War I. For his valor, he was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.

As part of the 30,000 active duty personnel in Korea, you're upholding the same proud tradition. You know what it takes to win a war; you know how to protect the peace; and you know what it takes to defend our nation. (Applause.)

To defend our country, and to defend freedom, we've got more work ahead. For decades, America's Armed Forces abroad have essentially remained where the wars of the last century ended in Europe and in Asia. So more than three years ago, we launched a comprehensive review of America's global force posture -- the numbers and types and locations and capability of our forces around the world.

We're transforming our military. Over the coming decade, we'll take advantage of 21st century military technologies so we can deploy rapidly, with increased combat power. This will help improve the lives of our military and their families, because more of our troops will be stationed and deployed for home. And this will help us meet the threats of the 21st century. By transforming our military, we'll more be able to do our duty to protect the American people.
As South Korea has grown more free and prosperous, it's built an increasingly capable military that is now ready to assume a larger role in defending its people. By assuming some responsibilities that have traditionally been shouldered by American forces, South Korea will strengthen the deterrent on the Korean Peninsula and free up some of our combat forces to help us win the war on terror.

And that war began on September the 11th, 2001. On that morning, Americans saw the violence and hatred of a new enemy. We saw the terrorists' destructive vision for us and for all who love freedom. And in the face of this threat, our nation has made a clear choice: We'll confront this mortal danger; we will stay on the offensive; we will not wait to be attacked again. We will not rest or tire until the war on terror is won. (Applause.)

For more than four years, we've seen the brutal nature of the enemy. They've targeted the innocent in scores of countries from almost every walk of life. In Casablanca they killed diners enjoying their evening meal. In Bali, they killed tourists on a holiday. In Beslan, they killed Russian school children. They've murdered workers in Riyadh and commuters in Madrid and hotel guests in Jakarta, and guests at a wedding celebration in Amman, Jordan. They killed Iraqi children. The tragic images of innocent victims can make it seem like these terrorist attacks are random, isolated acts of madness. While these killers choose their victims indiscriminately, their attacks flow from an ideology and a terrifying vision for the world. Their acts are evil, but they're not insane.

Some call this evil Islamic radicalism; others, militant jihadhism; still others, Islamo fascism. Whatever we choose to call this enemy, we must recognize that this ideology is very different from the tenets of the great religion of Islam. This form of radicalism exploits Islam to serve a violent, political vision: the establishment by terrorism, subversion and insurgency of a totalitarian empire that denies all political and religious freedom.

We know the vision of the radicals because they openly state it in videos and audio tapes and letters and declarations and websites. These extremists want to end American and Western influence in the broader Middle East, because we stand for democracy and peace, and stand in the way of their ambitions. The tactics of al Qaeda and other Islamic extremists has been consistent for a quarter-century. They hit us and they expect us to run.

Recently, the world learned of a letter written by al Qaeda number two leader, a man named Zawahiri. He wrote this letter to his chief deputy in Iraq, the terrorist Zarqawi. In it, Zawahiri points to the Vietnam War as a model for al Qaeda. He writes, "The aftermath of the collapse of American power in Vietnam and how they ran and left their agents is noteworthy." The terrorists witnessed our response after the attacks of American -- on American troops in Beirut in 1983, and Mogadishu in 1993. They concluded that America can be made to run again, only this time on a larger scale, with greater consequences. The terrorists are mistaken; America will never run. We will stand and fight, and we will win the war on terror. (Applause.)

The terrorists state their plans. They want to use the vacuum that would be created by an American retreat to gain control of a country, to build a base from which to launch attacks on America and to conduct their war against non-radical Muslim governments.

Over the past few decades, radicals have specifically targeted Egypt and Saudi Arabia and Pakistan and Jordan for potential takeovers. And for a time, they achieved their goal in Afghanistan, until they came face to face with the men and women of the United States military. (Applause.)

In Afghanistan, we put the terrorists on the run, and now they've set their sights on another country -- they're trying to turn Iraq into what Afghanistan was under the Taliban, a terrorist sanctuary from which they can plan and launch attacks against our people. The terrorists regard Iraq as the central front in their war against humanity. And we must recognize Iraq as the central front in our war against the terrorists.

These militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow moderate governments in the region and establish a radical Islamic empire that reaches from Spain to Indonesia. If they're not stopped, the terrorists will be able to advance their agenda to develop weapons of mass destruction, to destroy Israel, to intimidate Europe, and to break our will and blackmail our government into isolation. I'm going to make you this commitment: This is not going to happen on my watch. (Applause.)

Some might be tempted to dismiss the terrorist goals as fanatical or extreme. They are fanatical and extreme, but we cannot afford to dismiss them. Evil men obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience must be taken very seriously. Against such an enemy, there's only one effective response: We will never back down, and we will never give in, and we'll never accept anything less than complete victory. (Applause.)

We didn't ask for this global struggle, but we're answering history's call with a comprehensive strategy to win this war on terror. First, we're determined to prevent attacks by terrorist networks by protecting the homeland and working with our allies to destroy the terrorist networks and incapacitate their leaders.

Together with our coalition partners, we've disrupted a number of serious al Qaeda terrorist plots since September the 11th, including several al Qaeda plots to attack inside the United States. Our coalition against terrorists killed or captured nearly all those directly responsible for the September the 11th attacks. We've captured or killed several of bin Laden's most senior deputies and al Qaeda managers and operatives in numerous countries. And we will stay on the hunt. We will not relent until the terror networks that threaten us are exposed and broken and their leaders are held to account for their murder. (Applause.)

Second, we're determined to deny weapons of mass destruction to outlaw regimes and to their terrorist allies who would use them without hesitation. Working with Great Britain and Pakistan and other nations, we exposed and disrupted a major black market operation in nuclear technology led by A.Q. Khan. Libya has abandoned its chemical and nuclear weapons programs, as well as its long-range ballistic missiles. And last year, America and our partners in the Proliferation Security Initiative have stopped more than a dozen shipments of suspect weapons technology, including equipment for Iran's ballistic missile program. So long as I'm your President, we'll continue to deny the world's most dangerous men the world's most dangerous weapons.

Third, we are determined to deny radical groups the support and sanctuary of outlaw regimes. So I've laid out a clear doctrine: The United States makes no distinction between those who commit acts of terror and those who support and harbor the terrorists, because they're equally guilty of murder. (Applause.) Any government that chooses to be an ally of terror has also chosen to be an enemy of civilization, and the civilized world will hold those regimes to account.
Fourth, we're determined to deny the militants' control of any nation which they would use as a home base and a launching pad for terror.

This mission has brought new and urgent responsibilities to all who wear the uniform. American troops are fighting beside our Afghan partners against remnants of the Taliban and their al Qaeda allies. And American troops are fighting alongside courageous Iraqis against the remnants of a regime and a network of terrorists who want to stop the advance of a free Iraq. Our goal is to defeat the terrorists and allies -- and their allies at the heart of their power. And so we will defeat the enemy in Iraq.

As we pursue the terrorists, our military is helping to train Iraqi security forces so they can defend their people, and so they can fight the enemy. And we're making steady progress. With every passing month, more and more Iraqi forces are standing up, and the Iraqi military is gaining new capabilities and new confidence. At the time of our Fallujah operations a year ago, there were only a few Iraqi army battalions in combat. Today there are more than 90 Iraqi army battalions fighting the terrorists, along with our forces. American and Iraqi troops are conducting major assaults to clear out enemy fighters in Baghdad and other parts of Iraq. Iraqi police and security forces are helping clear the terrorists from their strongholds. They're holding onto areas we've cleared and are preventing the enemy from returning.

Our strategy can be summed up this way: As Iraqis stand up, we will stand down, and when our commanders on the ground tell me that Iraqi forces can defend their freedom, our troops will come home with the honor they have earned. (Applause.)

The second part of our strategy is a political strategy. Iraqis are moving forward in building a democracy. A month ago, millions of Iraqis turned out to vote for a constitution that guarantees fundamental freedoms and lays the foundation for lasting democracy. In a few weeks, Iraqis will vote again to choose a fully constitutional government to lead them for the next four years. Iraq is making amazing progress from the days of being under the thumb of a brutal dictator. Think about this: In two-and-a-half years, they've gone from tyranny to an election for a transitional government, to the ratification of a constitution, to the election of a free government. The Iraqi people are proving their determination to build a future founded on democracy and hope, and the United States of America will help them succeed. (Applause.)

The fifth element of our strategy in the war on terror is to deny the militants future recruits by replacing hatred and resentment with democracy and hope across the broader Middle East. If the Middle East is left to grow in bitterness, if countries remain in misery while radicals stir the resentments of millions, then that part of the world will be a source of endless conflict and mounting danger. If the peoples of that region are permitted to choose their own destiny, and advance by their own energy and participation as both free men and women, then the extremists will be marginalized, and the flow of violent radicalism to the rest of the world will slow and eventually end.

History has proven that free nations are peaceful nations and that democracies do not fight their neighbors. By advancing the hope of freedom and democracy for others, we'll make our own freedom more secure.

Our men and women in uniform who are serving on the Korean Peninsula have seen freedom succeed in Asia. By promoting freedom in Japan, we helped transform an enemy into a democracy that is one of the world's most prosperous nations, and one of America's most trusted allies. By standing firm against a determined enemy, we helped provide the people of South Korea with the peace and stability they needed to transform their economy and claim their own freedom. And by helping the people of Asia build successful and thriving democracies, we have helped set a hopeful example for the world. In the 21st century, we go forward with confidence because we know that freedom is the destiny of every man, woman, and child on this Earth. (Applause.)

Our work for peace and freedom involves great sacrifice by our troops. We see this sacrifice in Iraq, where our troops are hunting down the terrorists, and we're helping the Iraqi people build a working democracy. In Washington, there are some who say that the sacrifice is too great, and they urge us to set a date for withdrawal before we have completed our mission. Those who are in the fight know better. One of our top commanders in Iraq, Major General William Webster, says that setting a deadline for our withdrawal from Iraq would be, "a recipe for disaster." General Webster is right. So long as I'm the Commander-in-Chief, our strategy in Iraq will be driven by the sober judgment of our military commanders on the ground. We will fight the terrorists in Iraq. We will stay in the fight until we have achieved the brave -- the victory that our brave troops have fought for. (Applause.)

In this time of war and sacrifice, the greatest burden falls on our military families. We've lost some of our nation's finest men and women in the war on terror. Each of these men and women left grieving families and loved ones back home. Each loss of life is heartbreaking. And the best way to honor the sacrifices of our fallen troops is to complete their mission and lay the foundation of peace for our children and our grandchildren. (Applause.)

With the rise of a deadly enemy, and the unfolding of a global ideological struggle, our time in history will be remembered for new challenges and unprecedented dangers. And yet this fight we have joined is also the current expression of an ancient struggle between those who put their faith in dictators and those who put their faith in the people. Throughout history, tyrants and would-be tyrants have always claimed that murder is justified to serve their grand vision, and they end up alienating decent people across the globe. Tyrants and would-be tyrants have always claimed that regimented societies are strong and pure, until those societies collapse in corruption and decay. Tyrants and would-be tyrants have always claimed that free men and women are weak and decadent, until the day that free men and women defeat them.

We don't know the course our own struggle will take, or the sacrifices that might lie ahead. We do know, however, that the defense of freedom is worth our sacrifice. We know that the love of freedom is the mightiest force in history. And we do know the cause of freedom will once again prevail.

May God bless you all. Thank you all."

Victory. Victory Now.

PERIOD.

Well, that special season is once again upon us.

No, I don't mean Thanksgiving, Christmas, or even Festivus. Or even the much-beloved Commie/Segregationist faux-holiday of Kkwwaannzzaa.

I refer, of course, to "Borkmas", that festive occasion when a fat, white-haired, red-faced and probably tipsy Teddy "Privacy" Claus sends out his semi-demi annual standard fill-in-the-blanks form letter to all good liberal boys and Empowered Womyn:

"My Fellow America-Blamers,

President _____'s nominee, Judge ____ , would turn back the clock on civil rights in America to, oh, about last Wednesday at 3 in the afternoon. Back to the time when back-alley abortions were performed on top of segregated lunch-counters. Back to the time when Maureen Dowd was chained naked to a stove and beaten until she wrote something funny. And therefore, beaten and beaten and beaten. Back to the time before blow-up dolls were recognized as full citizens and given their Right to Vote. Back to the time when pesky journalists had the right not to report how I laundered a half-billion dollars through the island nation of Fiji in order to avoid paying the confiscatory tax-rates I advocate for everyone else. Back to the time when, in addition to my generous personal support, I proposed farm subsidy payments for bulemic barley growers and midget malt farmers in the name of our national security."

No, my friends, Judge _____ is a right-wing extremist who must be defeated...or else Ralph Neas will appear on live national television and pluck out his own eyebrows, hair by hair. And I don't think any of us want to see that again, now do we?"

Which begs the question: "What the hell is he saying?" Also the questions: "What exactly is a 'right-wing extremist'?" and "How can I qualify?"

Well, here's a dramatic presentation to help you determine if you are, in fact, a right-wing extremist:

Husband: "Say, honey, my girlfriends and I have decided that the wedding vows I took with you are, in fact, "Living", breathing vows, a non-binding statement of intent, which, although made with the best of intentions at the time, failed to take into account the many emanations from my penumbra. No, we must consider my vow in light of our complex, ever-evolving relationship, and subject to the broadest possible interpretation. And I, of course, will have the final word on that interpretation."

Wife: "You...you bastard! How dare you?!"

Husband: "Now, now, honey; calm down. If it makes you feel any better, it was a narrow 5-4 decision."

Wife: "You son of a b*tch!"

Husband: "Oh, and hon; you'd better get medically-tested for gonorrhea."

Wife: "What?!!"

Husband: "And genital herpes, too. What, are you anti-science or something?"

Wife: "That DOES it!"

Husband: "Wait a minute...put that TASER down, honey!... Can't we talk about this in chambers?..."

Wife: "*BZZZZZZZZZTTTT*"

Husband: "YEOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Narrator Deepak Chopra: "The wife in our little drama should have rejected the path of right-wing extremism. Remember this always, my children; TASER is a 'blaming word'. This situation could have been resolved without violence if only she had purchased my latest book at full cover price and adopted my "peace practices" of "Being Peace/Thinking Peace/Feeling Peace/Speaking Peace/Acting Peace/Creating Peace/Sharing Peace/Celebrating Peace"..."

Wife: "You can shut the hell up anytime, you creepy little navel-gazing, rupee-grubbing Aum-Merican fraud."

Deepak Chopra: "...Merchandising Peace/Faking Peace/Selling Peace/Pretending Peace/Pimping Peace..."

Wife: "You were warned; *BZZZZZZZZZZTTT*"

Deepak: "YEOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

If you are still unsure of your status as a member of the Extrema-Merican community, we've put together a little quiz to help you, with all apologies to Mr. Fox Jeffworthy:

*If you wonder why all government employees get Veterans Day off with pay while many actual veterans have to work...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*If you further think that ONLY veterans should get the day off with pay...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*"No law shall be passed restraining the free expression of opinion, or restricting the right to speak, write or print freely on any subject whatever." So says Oregon's 1859 Constitution. However, Oregon's Supreme Court just said that "expression of opinion" includes things like masturbating on stage for money, and those Oregon communities who banned sex clubs for the last century-and-a-half were illegally quashing 'dissent'.

Now, writing a letter to the editor is expressing an opinion. Even writing a letter to the editor advocating sex shows is expressing an opinion. But public masturbation for profit is a form of, what's the word I'm looking for...oh, yeah; 'whoring'. If you think it's getting harder and harder to tell the difference between judicial whores and the regular variety...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

(There are actually several differences; first, price: your regular, run-of-the-mill whores sell out for the Big Lie and twenty dollars--Judicial whores are cheap whores, settling for the Big Lie only. Second; integrity: unlike Judicial whores, regular whores are honest about what they really want. Third, customer service: regular whores believe in servicing the cutomer, whereas Judicial whores think customers (citizens) should serve them. And lastly, the biggest difference: regular whores are reformable.)

*If you've noticed that the same people who told us for years to 'question all patriotism' now say we can't question THEIR patriotism...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*If it strikes you as ironic that Animal Rights nuts seem to have arrived at their conclusions by licking psychotropic toads...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*If you can't understand why Americans need to be "challenged", "confronted" and made "uncomfortable" everytime they pay for public art or try to watch TV with their kids--yet captured terrorists must not be made uncomfortable in any way...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*Instead of letting perverts badger 6 yr.-old California schoolchildren with sexually explicit questionnaires in the classroom, shouldn't we force these pervs to accost school-kids in the time-honored, good old-fashioned way: sitting on a park bench with a half-bottle of Ripple and their trousers undone beneath a copy of the Times? If you think these bastards should only be castrated on sight...you're a 'moderate' as far as I'm concerned.

Siding with the perverts, Judicial Whore Stephen Reinhardt of the 9th Circuit Bordello of Appeals had the testicular fortitude to invoke the Founder's concept of 'ordered Liberty'--a concept in direct opposition to the disordered Judicial anarchy of his ruling. If you think he's trying to Establish a State Religion of Genital-Worship...you're catching on.

*An American scientist has quit his job on a Korean cloning project designed to farm human beings for spare parts. The reason: one of the research assistants may have been pressured into donating her eggs for the project, an "ethics" violation. If you think this is akin to worrying about greenhouse emissions at Bergen-Belsen or 'glass ceilings' at a Soylent Green factory...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*The kooky leader of a failed, socialist third-world banana republic claims the CIA is trying to kill him.
Is it
a.) Fidel Castro
b.) Hugo Chavez
or
c.) Ray Nagin?
If you answered d.) all of the above...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*If you've noticed that the same people who insisted 'marriage is just a piece of paper' and should be abolished now insist that gays can't possibly live another day without it...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist.

*And if you noticed that Rep. Murtha's 'exit strategy' is all 'exit' and no 'strategy'...you may be a Right-Wing Extremist!

In short, if you hold the radical notions that your country should be defended and her enemies defeated, that marriage is one man and one woman, that kids should be left alone to be kids and that parents might have worthwhile ideas about how they're raised, that words mean what they actually mean, that humans should not be cloned and that judges should pull their ideas out of lawbooks and not out of their ascots...

...you are a Right-Wing Extremist!

Congratulations.

Extremely.

THEY'LL ALL TELL YOU THE SAME THING:

Your Manufactured News Networks are lying to you.

And polls are just another way they do it.

New polls have President Bush's popularity at "historic lows". "Historic Lies" is more like it.

All of these polls have drastically over-sampled Democrats and Independents in order reach their dubious conclusions. And in the mysterious process known as "weighting", even more of the already under-represented Republican responses are thrown out in order to achieve a pre-ordained result.

The New Editor examines three such polls--and finds all of them skewed by 10 to 14 points.

At Ace of Spades, a commenter relates his conversation with the Post's Dana Milbank on "weighting":

""Isn't it inherently misleading for The Post to run a poll that skews so far left? The number of persons who identify as Democrats seems to be almost 12 points higher than actually exists in the country?"

Dana Milbank: "No. What happens is when Bush is up, more people identify themselves as Republicans; when he's down, more people identify as Democrats. So if you weighted for what they call 'party ID' then you'd cancel out the actual shift in public sentiment. That said, when party identification is skewed wildly outside a usual band, they make some adjustments. But the results are consistent with other recent polls."

"Talk about begging the question, we are using as a basis of determining the idea which we wish to determine. So, we think bush is down, therefore we will sample more democrats." ........

Our pal Lynx Pherrett takes another stab at explaining "weighting" in the comments at Protein Wisdom:

"Party identification is flexible, unlike more fixed demographic characteristics such as sex and ethnicity. So, some portion of survey respondents will report party leanings based upon their feelings about the president at the time of the survey. IOW, when Bush was riding high, those people would say they were Republicans or lean toward the Republicans; now, with Bush doing poorly, those same people say they are Democrats or lean toward the Democrats. (I put the number of people who flexibly report their party leaning at 5 to 10 percent of survey respondents.)" ........

Maybe... but if somebody can't be trusted to know whether or not they are Democrat or Republican, why the hell are we even listening to their opinion, let alone allowing them to represent hundreds of thousands of their fellow citizens in a poll? It seems to me the height of arrogance to ask their opinions, then discount their opinions--and then impute them to others!

Joe at Dartblog jumped through some hoops to get the actual numbers of the CBS poll. Here's what he found:

936 people were polled.

259 were Republicans.
326 were Democrats.
351 were "Independents".

We're already skewed. Then, if I understand this correctly, through the miracle of "weighting", the High Priests of Polling simply discard 36 Republican responses. Next, they amplify the responses of "Independents", creating 37(!) new "Independents" out of thin air. And our "poll" now consists of:

937 "people" polled.

223 Republicans.
326 Dems.
388 "Independents".

Joe's conclusion:

"The net result: a political poll consisting of 34.8% Democrats, 23.8% Republicans, and 41.4% Independents. And President Bush's "lowest" approval rating ever." ........

Pollster: "Would you say you lean toward being a Democrat, a Republicans or an Independent?"

Citizen: "Republican."

Pollster: "Okay; 'Independent'. Now, would you say President Bush is doing a good job, an average job, a poor job or are you undecided?"

Citizen: "Uhh... a good job."

Pollster: "Okay; I'll put you down as 'undecided'. Now, would you say..."

Citizen: "Wait a darn minute; I'm a Republican who thinks the President is doing a good job!"

Pollster: "Sorry, sir, but our research indicates that you are, in fact, an 'Independent' who is 'undecided'. Or possibly 'against'. "

Citizen: "If you've already decided who I am and what I think, why are you even calling me? Why don't you just make it up?"

Pollster: "We will. Later. But first, we need the 'facts', sir."

Citizen: "What the hell is this? Is this a poll or the Nostradumbass Psychic Friends Network?...Mr. Cleo...is that you?"

Pollster: "Boy; you independents can be so testy!"

Citizen: * click*

Now I don't doubt that the President's numbers are down somewhat. After all, the Media blames everything under the sun--including the weather!--on him. But this isn't science. It's creative fiction. It is Darwinian Journalism, descended from the Mapes.

Okay; Bush will never again run for office, so why does this matter?

It matters because this is an effort to create a phony "Presidency in Crisis" meme. It will be used to demoralize conservatives, to derail conservative policies and conservative nominees. And to try to prop up Democrats in upcoming elections. Not to mention pre-writing the historical record. Conservatives parrot these phony numbers at their own peril.

The Exempt Media will not tell it straight. They inject their opinions into stories and they create stories out of their opinions. They will not give us all the facts nor both sides of an argument. For example, have you seen any news organ deviate from the Official Line(tm) on Plamegate and describe it for what it really is; a black-op run against the duly-elected president by rogue CIA officers & bureaucrats at State?

And they certainly cannot be trusted to tell us what we think through these forged and fraudulent poll numbers.

"Weight" that response, my Psychic Network Friends.

THE MAGIC NUMBER?

That's the number of servicemen and women who have given their very lives in the War on Islamist Terrorists.

I say they died to protect me, my family, my neighbors and our country. And to spread freedom to those who have known only misery and oppression. Some two thousand Debts of Honor that we can never really repay.

But others say this number is a "grim milestone"...yet it was all they could do to keep from throwing a party and calling for a National Day of Celebration. They say these men and women died for nothing, or worse, as participants in the criminal enterprise of Bushitler's Imperialist Amerikkan aggression. To them, some two thousand military deaths prove conclusively that we should retreat, surrender, and beg Jacques Chirac's forgiveness.

But if 2000 is the Magic Number that demands our withdrawal to the therapist's couch to get in touch with our Inner Frenchman, then what are we to make of the number 2,403?

You see, that's the number of American servicemen who were killed by fanatics on a balmy Sunday morning at Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941.

That's right; In 1941, America suffered more military casualties even BEFORE going to war than we have suffered in the four years since Sept. 11, 2001.

By the inexorable logic of the "Defeat America Now!"-crowd...FDR should have surrendered and apologized!

Instead, he declared war the very next day.

On top of that, he drafted "children" (who couldn't even drink or vote--the horror!), interred all Japanese-Americans and some German & Italian-Americans as well, invaded Morocco--a country that was no threat to us and had no WMDs, and formed an alliance with one of history's greatest monsters. Stalin, not Jimmy Carter. Hundreds of thousands of Americans died.

Yet very, very few Democrats referred to him as "Roosevelthitler". I believe the exact number was, oh, about ZERO.

It's baffling, I know.

This is no 'elective' war. It is an Imperative War. And it should have been fought long ago. It is a serious and sober effort for grown-ups, an attempt to bring the Muslim world into the modern era of democratic freedoms for our sake as well as theirs.

But because it is a serious and sober effort for grown-ups, the feeble-minded, the moral equivocators, the permanently childish, the self-loathing defeatists--in short, the American Left--need not apply.

No, go back to your bongs and your porn and your organic Kenyan double decaf latte and your silly little professors; return at once to the comfort of your faculty lounges, your television studios, your Minority Leader offices and your Cape Cod compounds--and keep your filthy grave-robbing hands off of these spiritual heirs to the Greatest Generation who are not only providing you with that comfort, but are keeping your sorry, ungrateful, spoiled, petulant, useless asses alive long enough to see the day, unlikely as it may be, that maybe, just maybe, you'll finally grow up and at long, long last, turn into somebody who might actually be worth a good God-damn.

'Cos it damn sure hasn't happened yet.

And if, God forbid, we reach 2,403 service-member deaths, you let me know;

Like FDR, I'll be ready to start the fight.