Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Blogsurfin' U.S.A. 

Hugh Hewitt explains why Dean will lurch leftward, not toward the center.

And exposes the new, improved...and doomed "Dean=Bush!" meme.

Overlawyered.com notes that there are a million lawyers in the US...and counting. They claim to be overworked. Does that mean we need 2 million? Like everyone, I tell lawyer jokes. But I've always admired the majesty of good law, well-practiced. It's sad...and criminal...what has happened to that profession.

From the Interested Participant: Kucinich gets $18.6 million from the FEC. That's not just chicken-feed. Unicorn-feed perhaps, but not chicken-feed.

Number 2 Pencil has more on money down the rat-hole, and Norman's Sushi Police vs. Osama Fin Laden.

Common Sense & Wonder records this small victory in Canuckistan: "...I am a recovering liberal, and Sept. 11 is my dry date."

And a Happy New Year to all!

Hey, Hey! Ho, Ho! 


"There is something terribly wrong, something terribly amoral with the Western intelligentsia, most prominently in academia, the media, and politics. We don’t need Osama bin Laden’s preschool jabbering about “the weak horse” to be worried about the causes of this Western disease: thousands of the richest, most leisured people in the history of civilization have become self-absorbed, ungracious, and completely divorced from the natural world — the age-old horrific realities of dearth, plague, hunger, rapine, or conquest."

"Our Western intellectuals are sheltered orchids who are naïve about the world beyond their upscale hothouses. The Western disease of deductive fury at everything the West does provides a sort of psychological relief (without costs) for apparent guilt over privileged circumstances. It is such a strange mixture of faux-populism and aristocratic snobbery. They believe only a blessed few such as themselves have the requisite education or breeding to understand the “real” world of Western pathologies and its victims."--says Victor Davis Hanson, here.

Mark Steyn & David Warren come to the same conclusion:

Mr. Steyn: "The real story of this past year is not Saddam, but something deeper, symbolised by the bizarre persistence of the "anti-war" movement even after the war was over. For a significant chunk of the British establishment and for most of the governing class on the Continent, if it's a choice between an America-led West or no West at all they'll take the latter. That's the trend to watch in the year ahead."

Mr. Warren: "My own extremely fallible intuition is that, if anything, this war and this image concealed the main event."

"To my mind, the real story was in the opposition to this war, and how it persisted and developed in Europe and North America even after Iraq had been liberated from its tyrant. That will be the "developing story" in 2004 and years to come -- how the West has turned against its own ideals, and grows increasingly ashamed, even of its own most obvious accomplishments."

This trend must be, not just watched, but fought, refuted, defeated & then discarded on the Ash Heap of History, the Dust-bin of Destiny, flushed down the Toilet of Time into the Elysian Leech-Fields of Infamy.
We, in this generation, have a Rendezvous...With Roto-Rooter!

Uh-oh; I think I just flushed my Presidential speech-writing career. Honey; where'd I put the plunger of Plutarch?

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

A Democratic Candidate Speaks: 


"I pledge to increase America's strength against its enemies, its prestige among its friends, and the opportunities it offers to its citizens.

We will win the respect of allies and adversaries alike through our determined stand on behalf of freedom around the world.

The expansion of terrorism will be reversed. The name of Usama bin Laden will no longer feared or cheered by substantial numbers in any country.

America will show that it cares about the needy of its own and other lands, America will show that freedom is the way to the future. America is first in the effort for peace as well as preparedness.

Business profits must grow dramatically; and businessmen need liberalized depreciation for the investment tax credit & markets at home as well as abroad. I propose a massive tax reduction, with particular benefits for small business.

I pledge that my administration will strive to secure for every American his full constitutional rights. There is no noncontroversial way to fulfill our constitutional pledge to establish justice and promote domestic tranquillity, but we intend to fulfill those obligations because they are right.

We will undertake the first full-scale revision of our tax laws in years. We will launch a bold new attack on mental illness, emphasizing treatment in the patient's own home community instead of some vast custodial institution. We will initiate a full-scale attack on mental retardation, emphasizing prevention instead of abandonment. We will revise our public welfare programs, emphasizing family rehabilitation instead of humiliation. And we propose a comprehensive realignment of our national transportation policy, emphasizing equal competition instead of regulation.

We pledge that our country will no longer engage in a lagging space effort. We will launch the most advanced space-craft ever developed anywhere in the world. And we will make it clear to all that the United States of America has no intention of finishing second to China in outer space.

This is still a daring and dangerous frontier; and there are those who would prefer to turn back or to take a more timid stance. But we have stood our ground on embattled frontiers before, and I know we will see this battle through.

I pledge to build a national defense which is second to none--a position , which is not "first, but," not "first, if," not "first, when," but first--period.

We will increase our defense budget by over 20 percent; increase submarines & anti-missle programs, double the number of strategic bombers and nuclear weapons available in the strategic forces; increase the tactical nuclear forces, add 5 combat ready divisions and 5 tactical fighter wings to our Armed Forces; increase our airlift capabilities by 75 percent; increase the strength of the Marines and increase our special counter-insurgency forces by 600 percent--those forces that are prepared to work with our allies and friends against the guerrillas, terrorists, insurgents and assassins who threaten freedom.

We will truly say, with pride in our voices and peace in our hearts, that the defensive forces of the United States are, without a doubt, the most powerful and resourceful forces anywhere in the world.

We will step up the fight against crime and slums and poverty in our cities, against the pollution of our streams, against unemployment in our industries, and against waste in the Federal Government. We will build hospitals and clinics and nursing homes. We will initiate the training of more physicians and dentists.

For this country is moving and it must not stop. It cannot stop. For this is a time for courage and a time for challenge. Neither conformity nor complacency will do. Neither the fanatics nor the faint-hearted are needed.

There will always be dissident voices heard in the land, expressing opposition without alternatives, finding fault but never favor, perceiving gloom on every side and seeking influence without responsibility. Those voices are inevitable.

But today other voices are heard in the land--voices preaching doctrines wholly unrelated to reality, wholly unsuited to today, doctrines which apparently assume that words will suffice without weapons, that vituperation is as good as victory and that peace is a sign of weakness.

I want to discuss with you today the status of our strength and our security because this question clearly calls for the most responsible qualities of leadership and the most enlightened products of scholarship. For this Nation's strength and security are not easily or cheaply obtained, nor are they quickly and simply explained. There are many kinds of strength and no one kind will suffice.

Above all, words alone are not enough. The United States is a peaceful nation. And where our strength and determination are clear, our words need merely to convey conviction, not belligerence. If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help.

I realize that this Nation often tends to identify turning-points in world affairs with the major addresses which preceded them. But it was not the Monroe Doctrine that kept all Europe away from this hemisphere--it was the strength of the British fleet and the width of the Atlantic Ocean. It was not General Marshall's speech at Harvard which kept communism out of Western Europe--it was the strength and stability made possible by our military and economic assistance.

Our successful defense of freedom is due not to the words we use, but to the strength we stand ready to use on behalf of the principles we stand ready to defend.

This strength is composed of many different elements, ranging from the most massive deterrents to the most subtle influences. And all types of strength are needed--no one kind could do the job alone.

But American military might should not and need not stand alone against the ambitions of international terrorism. Our security and strength, in the last analysis, directly depend on the security and strength of others, and that is why our military and economic assistance plays such a key role. Our assistance to these nations can be painful, risky and costly, as is true in Iraq & Afghanistan today. But we dare not weary of the task.

I have spoken of strength largely in terms of the deterrence and resistance of aggression and attack. But, in today's world, freedom can be lost without a shot being fired, by ballots as well as bullets. The success of our leadership is dependent upon respect for our mission in the world as well as our missiles--on a clearer recognition of the virtues of freedom as well as the evils of tyranny.

That is why our Information Agency should double the shortwave broadcasting power of the Voice of America and increase the number of broadcasting hours. And we should take a host of other steps to carry our message of truth and freedom to all the far corners of the earth.

My friends and fellow citizens: Our adversaries have not abandoned their ambitions, our dangers have not diminished, our vigilance cannot be relaxed. We must have the military, the scientific, and the economic strength to do whatever must be done for the preservation and promotion of freedom.And that strength will never be used in pursuit of aggressive ambitions.

And our duty as a party is not to our party alone, but to the Nation, and, indeed, to all mankind. Our duty is not merely the preservation of political power but the preservation of peace and freedom.

So let us not be petty when our cause is so great. Let us not quarrel amongst ourselves when our Nation's future is at stake. Let us stand together with renewed confidence in our cause--united in our heritage of the past and our hopes for the future--and determined that this land we love shall lead all mankind into new frontiers of peace and abundance.

We in this country, in this generation, are--by destiny rather than choice--the watchmen on the walls of world freedom. We ask, therefore, that we may be worthy of our power and responsibility, that we may exercise our strength with wisdom and restraint, and that we may achieve in our time and for all time the ancient vision of "peace on earth, good will toward men." That must always be our goal, and the righteousness of our cause must always underlie our strength.

For as was written long ago: "except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.""

Wow; that Wesley Clark can really give a speech!

Oh...wait a minute. Sorry; that's another Democrat candidate:

John F. Kennedy.

This is a blending (with editing & modernizing) of this speech and this speech; speeches he was to deliver the day Castro put a bullet in his head.

This is not about Kennedy-worship. He was quite flawed, yet a patriot without a doubt.

I've decided it's in my interest to have 2 sane parties; I hate to even think it, but someday, a Dem might get elected President again. And as Democrats go off the cliff, my party moves further to the left to fill the void. I want to push both parties right-ward for a change.

Anyway, just thought you kids might enjoy hearing what one Democrat used to sound like.

Before they all went f***ing insane.

Monday, December 29, 2003



Sen. John McCain announced a new round of Reform proposals today.

"Christmas has become institutionally corrupt," said the Senator. "I woke up the day after Christmas feeling like a 2-baht Saigon hooker on a Tet Love Holiday. And it's not just me; we just can't stop ourselves."

"That's why I'm proposing Christmas Finance Reform," he explained. "Families are too close to children, just like Parties are too close to candidates; and we don't want children to feel indebted to fat-cat donor-parents. So from now on, all private gift-giving will be a crime and we'll have public financing of all gifts."

"Did you promise little Susie a new doll-house next year? Tough!" said McCain, his eye beginning to twitch. "The Federal Gift-Selection Commision has decided she's getting a toy dump-truck. The Government wants more female truck-drivers anyway. Sure; little Susie will cry, but just tell her we here in Washington know what's best."

Another provision of the Act would ban all Christmas caroling 60 days before the holiday. "That's my favorite part...I've always hated that "We Three Keatings" song! Nobody said Reform would be pretty...but I think she's pretty..." McCain shouted, and then whispered, in the now-familiar, unhinged sing-song voice long known to criminologists and FBI profilers.

While endorsed by many serial Congressmen, a majority of Congress recognize that this Act would violate their oaths to the Constitution.

Pres. Bush also said he was firmly against it, and it is widely expected that the Supreme Court would strike down such an outrageous assault on our liberties.

Therefore, it is very likely to be passed by Congress, signed by the President and approved by the Court in time for next Christmas.

Justice O'Conner could not be reached for comment, as she was busy researching Saudi court rulings regarding the celebration of Christmas in Mecca.

When asked what was next on the Reform agenda, Squinter McCain, now in full 'Bruce-Dern-on-a-meth-bender' mode, said: "Ya' know...the 4th of July has always kinda' bugged me."

Sunday, December 28, 2003

All God's Creatures 


(Wildlife biologists see silver lining: Candidate bleatings said to hold key to understanding animal noises.)

From The Concord Monitor:

{Kindly work out self-esteem issues elsewhere, please.}

{'Twas the Day After Christmas and all through the house, Howard was speaking: "I'm a Lion!" roared the mouse.}

{No relation to the fashionably late & undigested Chairman's-ness, Wang Tae Bo, we're sure.}

"In his interview with the Monitor, Howard Dean repeated his contention that Saddam Hussein's recent capture had made America no safer."

Maybe he meant Morley Safer's recent capture.

"Dean said there was no evidence to suggest the Bush administration's use of force against Iraq had anything to do with Libya's move. I have no way of knowing whether we could or could not have done it" before the Iraq war, Dean said."

Coincidences are stubborn things, Howard.

""But I do notice the president has a discomforting tendency to justify after the fact his various actions, depending on whatever evidence happens to be on hand.""

(Note: Howard correctly uses 'discomforting' instead of 'discomfiting'. While they both now share a similar meaning, 'discomfit' originally meant to defeat, overthrow, overpower, vanquish, conquer, baffle, frustrate, confound & discourage one's enemies...something that would not happen in a hyper-thetical Dean Administration, Regime, Satrapy, Madhouse, etc.)

""We've had six or eight justifications of why he went to war in Iraq, depending on what the events of the day are.""

Now, I go to work in town because I want to support my family. Also, because I don't want to be a burden on my neighbors. And because I enjoy helping people. And I want to afford a vacation, etc., etc..

By the Mayor of Vermont's logic, I have six or eight justifications, depending on what the events of the day are.

But let us know when you get to 37 'justifications', Howard.

"Dean said Iraq is "probably the best place" for Saddam to be tried, but "I'm willing to be flexible about that because I don't think it's essential to the security interests of the United States.""

Then perhaps we could charge him in Montpelier Municipal Court on a noise-ordinance beef--feeding screaming humans into a wood chipper during the dinner-hour.

Or haul him into Night Court in Nashua to answer for his Eco-Crimes, alongside those ticketed for burning leaves without a permit.

Or we could even send him to the Hague...except for the possibility he would be exonorated and offered a seat on the bench. His vast show-trial experience would be helpful to the Court when the fugitive Kissinger is finally apprehended.

Hey!; Howard has six or eight justice-locations...depending on what the events of the day are.

"The Monitor asked: Where should Osama bin Laden be tried if he's caught? Dean said he didn't think it made any difference, and if he were president he would consult with his lawyers for advice on the subject."

It doesn't make a difference? What if it were some Third-World, socialist, soft-on-terror courtroom...like, say, the 9th Circuit, for example?

And 'consult with lawyers'? Really?

Consider this:

Keep batteries away from children.
Discard used batteries according to applicable local and national regulations.
Utilize established community battery recycling programs where available.
Alkaline batteries are not rechargeable; do not attempt to recharge them in a battery charger.
Remove the batteries when the device is stored for long periods of time.
Always follow the battery manufacturer's directions fully.
Do not attempt to disassemble, short circuit, or subject the battery to high temperature or fire.
Replace all batteries of a set at the same time.
New batteries should not be mixed with used ones.
Do not mix rechargeable and non-rechargeable batteries.
Do not mix alkaline or Ni-MH types of batteries.
Do not mix different grades or brands of batteries.
Failure to observe this precaution may result in some candidates being driven beyond their normal exhaust point and increase the possibility of truth-leakage.

I rest my case.

The Concord Monitor continues:

"But wouldn't most Americans feel strongly that bin Laden should be tried in America - and put to death?"

No, Conquered Hall-Monitor. Most Americans feel strongly that bin Laden should be shot on sight, and THEN tortured & interrogated. In that order.

""I've resisted pronouncing a sentence before guilt is found," Dean said. "I still have this old-fashioned notion that even with people like Osama, who is very likely to be found guilty, we should do our best not to, in positions of executive power, not to prejudge jury trials.""

Steyn did this already:

"What's ridiculous isn't his deference for the alleged accused despite the fact the late Osama is on video bragging about taking out the WTC. It's that he, like many Democrats, doesn't realize that September 11th isn't a law-enforcement issue, it's an act of war. The minute you start talking about jury trials you're on the wrong side of the issue."

That's so true. 'Allegedly'.

The Monitor:

"And how will he convince swing voters who weren't so opposed to the war to fire President Bush?"

"By going after him on terrorism, where he's really weak," Dean replied."

Heeeere's Dean-o!: the 'Jury' Lewis of the 'cRat Pack, telling the Chairman of the Board how show-biz works. Frankly, shouldn't the man really be back in Burlington, answering the phones for Channel 3's 'Labor Day Telethon'?

Short answer; yes.

Dean has since gone on a French offensive, i.e.; a 180 degree retreat, from his remarks.

Yes, like that other stubby-armed veteran of show-biz, Flipper, Howard also makes funny yet indecipherable noises when danger lurks.

I wonder if Flipper was trying to warn us about Howard Dean.

Thanks for trying, Flipper.

What's that, Lassie?...Howard has fallen into the abandoned mine-shaft of the 60's, is hopelessly trapped and can't possibly escape? That sounds like an emergency! Quick! ...

...Somebody consult the lawyers!

Saturday, December 27, 2003



Mr. O'Rourke is interviewed by Elizabeth Shelburne in this month's Atlantic Monthly:

"Had you applied for one of the embedded positions?"

"Not at all. I had no desire to do that whatsoever. Summer camp was bad enough. One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're NOT in the Army. The whole idea of putting you in the Army and not giving you a gun—gee, no thanks. That was the sort of thing that the dumber kind of conscientious objector in Vietnam wound up doing."

And here's a Christmas bonus link from their archives, O'Rourke on the Nobel No-Prizes:

"Why do political bien-pensants automatically roll "dispossessed," "poor," and "disenfranchised" together, as if they have a natural correlation—like "ice," "cold," and "beer"? The Dalai Lama...is dispossessed. My parish priest is poor. And Alan Greenspan, as a resident of the District of Columbia, is ineligible to vote in congressional elections."

And even though we ran this in the Fall, Holiday-in-Hell ettiquette demands that we re-run P.J.'s 'Santa v. God' riff, the 'Who's on First' routine of political humor (from "Parliament of Whores"):

"I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat."

"God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged mate, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club."

"Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus."

Oh, hell; quoting P.J. is fun...and so much easier than actually writing something, here's a few more:

"The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things - war and hunger and date rape - liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal."

"When those who are against conservative policies don't have sufficient opposition arguments, they call love of freedom 'selfish.' Of course it is - in the sense that breathing is selfish. But because you want to breathe doesn't mean you want to suck the breath out of every person you encounter."

"What I discovered in Somalia is a place where there was no shortage of food ... There was a shortage of public order. There was a shortage of a social system to provide food for people who were powerless. Rice was selling in Mogadishu at 10 cents a kilo -- the cheapest rice in the world because of all the rice that had been donated. The problem was that if you didn't have a gun in Mogadishu you didn't have 10 cents. It didn't matter how cheap or readily available the rice was. There were people with guns taking it away from the people who didn't have guns."

"What is this oozing behemoth, this fibrous tumor, this monster of power and expense hatched from the simple human desire for civic order? How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body politic?"

"I hate political correctness because it's founded on the idea that by means of language you can escape truth -- that if you simply give a different name to something you've somehow changed it. It is a very childlike idea."

Please consider patronising the author online at Atlantic Monthly or purchasing one of his many fine works, or receiving Atlantic Monthly in the mail.

And remember:

"Liberals are the ditch carp of democracy."

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Person of the Year: The American Soldier 


R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. takes time to edit TIME:

"In keeping with many American journalists' evasion of meaning Time magazine has given its "Person of the Year" not to a person but to a group of persons or is it to a person who has no name? "The American Soldier" is Time's "Person of the Year." That represents a very fine sentiment. The American military once again deserves the citizenry's highest esteem, but the American military is not a person. I am glad that I am not an editor at Time. Had I been one I would have argued that the magazine celebrate our soldiers, sailors, and pilots. Moreover I would have thrown in those duty-bound intelligence operatives who play such an important role in American security, but I would not give the "Person of the Year" accolade to a non-person."

"As it happens I am an editor. In fact, I am an editor in chief, and as editor in chief of The American Spectator I am affirming that the magazine this year take up the burden of conferring a "Person of the Year" accolade on an actual person, President George W. Bush. He has shown himself to be a president of colossal achievement. He has faced up to international terrorism."

Here is the complete list of TIME's 'Person of the Year'.

In 1931, TIME chose Pierre Laval; "His energy and vision restored France to the center of world events." I'll say; a decade later he was a Hitler hand-puppet.

In '37, they named Gen. & Mme. Chang Kai-Shek "Man and Woman of the Year". No grammar issues there.

Winston Churchill was named 'Man of the Half-Century' in 1949. I think we should go ahead and make him 'Man of the Whole Century'.

Failing that, Ronald Reagan should get the award for the second half-century, as he completed Churchill's (& FDR and HST's) job for them. The Boy Clinton, of course, wins the 'Half-Man of the Whole Century' award, hands down...down somewhere they don't belong, no doubt.

The first definitionally-questionable entry is 1950's 'G.I. Joe'. This is somewhat similar to this years' choice, but as a fictional composite character, it more closely resembles Al Gore.

The 'Hungarian Patriot' won the award in '56...but lost the revolt, as there was only one of him.

De Gaulle returns to power in '58 due to the Algerian Crisis; I hope the Algerians are kind to French when the surrender comes. Be nice; it's Christmas.

1960 brings us the first-plural-person Grammar Award: The U.S. Scientists were a person that year, which is indeed quite a scientific achievement. The scientists were followed by the person Young People (1966), U.S. Astronauts (1968), the Middle Class ('69), and the two-headed Mr. Nixon/Kissinger ('72).

Two two-headed Persons are better than one, so TIME named Ronald Reagan/Yuri Andropov "Person of the Year" in 1983.

Conservatives were baffled when Reagan offered to share SDI with the Soviets; perhaps the man was just in touch with his inner Yuri. It certainly explains why he didn't feel the pressing need for summitry.

Oddly enough, Reagan missed the role of a lifetime when he was turned down for the lead in 1950's "Every Other Day, I Was a Communist Spy!...Yuri Andropov, To Be Exact!".

In the classic moral equivalence for which modern journalism is a synonym, TIME says that the Reagan/Andropov "deadlock failed to de-escalate cold war missile race." Somehow, I doubt many of the 'Hungarian Patriot' would agree.

Sorry, Charlie Brownslovski; the editors at TIME moved the Luces' nuclear football long ago.

Pres. Reagan should have instead co-starred with Mikhail Gorbachev. TIME named him, not just Person of the Year in 1989, but 80's 'Man of the Decade'. But only because the name 'God' was already taken.

In '93, TIME decided that one four-headed person was better than two two-headed person, and named The Peacemakers: "Mandela, De Klerk, Rabin and Arafat found ways to break out from prisons of war."

It's not Arafat's Nobel Prize or the title "Peacemaker' that are most questionable; it's the designation 'person'.

98' was Bill Clinton/Kenneth Starr...Al Gore/Al Gore is/are still mad at him/them. Bill was also TIME's 'Wonder Boy' in '92, when the bloom was still fresh on the Rose Law Firm billing records.

And three women Whistleblowers merged for last years' trifecta of personhood. Unfortunately, the 3-in-1 blonde whistleblowers have had to install security devices to fend off amorous midnight phone calls from '92's Montecristo-bearing winner. Fame has its price.

However, my favorite person of all TIMEs is 1982's "The Computer".

As a fellow person who lives in my home, I claim my computer as a dependant on my taxes. And she's registered to vote also. The two of us think exactly alike when it comes to politics.

Hey; don't judge us: we're just two persons trying to get along the best we can in this crazy world...who, interestingly enough, happens to be a person, too; 1988's Endangered Earth!

Conservatives are always accused of being Flat-Earthers...but even I don't think that the Earth is a person.

But then, I'm not a non-spatial continuum measured in terms of chronological events.

I don't have TIME for all that...

My computer is calling me again. The bitch.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Merry Christmas To All 

And to all, a good night!

Honey...where's the screwdriver?

So THIS Is Christmas 

"The central miracle asserted by Christians is the incarnation. They said that man became God. Every other miracle prepares from this or revolts from this."--C. S. Lewis

"Christmas commemorates God’s personal intervention in human affairs to rescue man from the consequences of his willful rebellion. Just as importantly, it provides a yearly reminder of the subordinate role of politics in the ultimate scheme of things, and the fact that it is ultimately through submission to God’s sovereignty that the individual becomes free. Such reminders are valuable in any age, but they are critical in an era in which … our social architects are laboring to organize the world as if God didn’t exist."--William Norman Grigg

Monday, December 22, 2003

Odds Without End 


Democrats always claim that Republican Presidents are manipulated by a shadowy cabal of advisors with dubious judgement and questionable motives. True. But let's not talk about the State Department now.

What was the greatest single advancement in the history of womens' rights? Was it:
A.) dental dam?
B.) Hoover Dam... and the modern appliances it powers?
C.) getting the vote?
D.) day care?
E.) the Pill ?
The correct answer is, of course, F.) Marriage.
Mess with it at your peril, gals.

Speaking of, shouldn't the proponents of same-sex 'marriage' be the ones who need to seek a Constitutional Amendment ?

Shouldn't overturning a basic pillar of civilization of thousands-of-years-standing require the Consent of the Governed? And I mean a real Amendment, not a diktat decreed by 4 out of 5 dentists from that free-floating Konstitutional Konvention called the Supreme Kangaroo Kourt.

The NY Times has been remarkably consistent in their stand on Free Speech Rationing in Campaigns. Here's an editorial I found from Sept. 2, 1972:

"We applaud Pres. Nixon's stand, banning John Lennon's song "Give Peace A Chance" 60 days before this election. While we agree with the sentiments expressed by Mr. Lennon, and look forward to the day when the lyrics to "Imagine" replace the Constitution, Pres. Nixon is right; this song is plainly an in-kind donation to the McGovern campaign. And frankly, the right to criticize politicians is too important to be left to untrained professionals, rock stars and mere voters. "

"We proudly stand with President Nixon, Vice President Agnew and Attorney General John Mitchell in their brave and statesmen-like efforts to silence Mr. Lennon in the name of Freedom. Sometimes we have to destroy the village square to save it."

"Yes, we're proud and honored to be a part of the cleanest campaign in the history of American politics."

Remember when legions of pre-pubescent fans used to chase their pop-star idols, hoping just for a touch...instead of vice versa?

It was recently announced that Strom Thurmond had fathered a child with his black housekeeper many years ago. Thurmond supported his daughter financially, but never mentioned her publicly out of political considerations and guilt.

In other news, The Supreme Court announced that it, too, had given birth to a baby late last term. "If it was a girl, we were going to call her 'Nara Lee-Taylor'; If it was a boy, I wanted to call him "M. N. 'Nate' Penumbra"," said Court spokes-mandate Thurgood "Thur-Thur" Thurman, affectionately known around the courthouse as 'Wednesday's Child'.

But in a split decision, the Court decided to name the child "Furgeson V. Plessy, Jr.". The child, although less than a year old, is currently attending Michigan Pre-Law Pre-School.

Asked when the child would graduate, Justice O'Conner said "We expect that 25 years from now."

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Oh, the Humanity! 


...and this one will tug at the heart-strings!

zee at Spiced Sass has the details:

"MIAMI -- A Florida American Civil Liberties Union representative says arrests made during last month's Free Trade Area of the Americas show signs of profiling.
Lida Rodriguez-Taseff, president of Greater Miami Chapter of the ACLU, says protesters who fit the profile of "spoiled rich kids" were more likely to be arrested.
Analysis from the South Florida Sun Sentinel shows the majority of those arrested were white and under age 30."

Oh, this IS rich!

"Hi, Dad; I'm home."

"Where have you been , son?"

"I've been down at the protest, tying up traffic, throwing rocks and standing in solidarity with the oppressed workers of the world."

"Yes, son; I know. That rock went through my storefront window. And you cost me $10,000.00 in lost sales today. Son, do you actually KNOW any oppressed workers?"

"Uhhh...yeah, Dad; Pedro, our pool-boy."

"That's 'Mr. Pedro' to you, son; I've arranged for you to work for Mr. Pedro."


"Son, how do you think we got this house?"

"Uhhh...credit cards?"

"No; we got it through capitalism. But speaking of credit cards, I've canceled yours. And returned the Ferrari to the dealership. And I've gotten you a room at the "Y", until you get your first paycheck from Mr. Pedro."

"Bu...but, Dad; I'm expecting a phone call from 'The Committee of Workers & Impressionable Young Women'!"

"That reminds me; I need to cancel your cell-phone, too."

"That's not fair, Dad!"

"Spoken like a true oppressed worker, son; I'm proud of you for standing up for your principles."

"Can..can I say good-bye to Mom?"

"Oh, don't worry, son; you'll see her Thursday...and remember; not too much chlorine!"

Suggested slogans for our nouveau-downtrodden Angry Young Heirs:

"We Shall Over-Invest!"
"Driving While Wealthy"
"No Justice, No I.P.O.!"
"Don't Trust-Fund Anyone Over 30!"
"The Peoples Liberation Beach-Front!"
"Free Mumia & Toaster with each new account!"

If you are a Spoiled Rich Kid who has been held down by the Man, please contact Miami Attorney Steve H.; he will be happy to represent you. If you correctly answer this question:

Does dragging a client behind a convertible in cross-town traffic constitute a breach of the Bar's Ethics Code?

Attention Noel.com Shoppers 


Merry Christmas to you all...and sorry you haven't got all your shopping done yet.

As you can see, we're not selling anything here; however, if you are in the market for a sharp knife, we highly recommend Randall Made Knives.

The late Mr. W. D. "Bo" Randall tells his story:

"As an outdoorsman, I took a lot of personal satisfaction in creating knives that were simple in design but very functional. And a growing business evolved among friends, fellow sportsmen and sales to a few large sporting goods stores."

"Then, World War II began. A young sailor asked me to make him a knife for use in man-to-man combat. When his friends saw it, they placed orders, and their friends placed orders, and my knives were used in combat, and a reporter wrote a story and...

All hell broke loose."

"I wanted Randall Made to stand for quality and dependability, because servicemen were telling me how much they relied on my knives."

"One wrote, "It was a terrible thing at close range. (Your knife) would cut a man's head nearly off with a quick swing.. I also used that knife to open cans, cut wood, dress water buffalo... and it stayed sharp. I was offered all kinds of trades, but I wouldn't part with it.""

Mr. Randall, an avid sportsman, would surely have preferred a peaceful world where all his knives were used only for civilized pursuits such as huntin' n' fishin'.

But when asked to equip those who defend civilization, he stepped up and did his duty. His product kept many a soldier alive to see another Christmas.

I guess that's the only thing we sell here at Sharp Knife.

And we give it away. Have some!

'America's Splendid Little Wars' 


is a solid and brief account of America's conflicts from 1975 to 2000.
(The author notes that, although the title comes from Amb. Hays' letter to Lt. Col. Teddy Roosevelt, he prefers Wellington's formulation: '(A) great country can have no such thing as a little war."

Some observations:

Beirut was once, by Mid-East standards, an oasis of civilization. A fleeing Arafat and Muslim demographics & assasination destabilized the nominally Christian government, and we intervened for 'peace-keeping' and, in my view, to prevent Israel from victory over the PLO. Despite his murder of American diplomats, State insisted we rescue Arafat and later insisted on his return to Gaza, thus condemning all peoples involved to another 2 decades of hate & murder.

Your apology is forthcoming in the diplomatic mail, I'm sure.

The troops on the ground were hampered by rules of engagement, sentries without bullets, occupying the low ground and, most of all, by being asked to do both the contradictory & impossible ; prevent the Israelis from establishing peace through victory, and then to 'keep' a peace that had yet to be established.

In Somalia, the same mistakes were made, along with some new ones. The Red Cross was allowed to veto air-strip security, for example. While Clinton was busy turning down field commanders' requests for needed armor, he appointed Jimmy Carter to secretly negotiate with Aidid, unbeknownst to local command. That smells about right.

Not mentioned in the book is the fact that after the 'Blackhawk Down' battle, American troops were ordered to act as Aidid bodyguards.
Just when you thought Clinton won the coveted "Worst President Ever" Award, up pops Jimmy Carter to engineer yet another American humiliation...it's still too close to call.

Milosevic's removal from power was a great achievement. Yet he sits in the Hague docket, sentenced not to life, but to life at trial, it seems.

In the Balkans, on a Monday, Boutrous-Ghali would be in charge. The next day, Albright. Wednesday, the Europeans. Thursday; NATO. Friday, the local UN 'peace-keeper' officer.

Witness events like the UN blue-helmets warning the Serbs of impending NATO air-strikes. That's why it took a decade to remove a week's-worth of tin-horn dictator. My point is not to belittle what was achieved; but this is no way to run a war...or a trial. And these people cannot be trusted to run Iraq today.

The largest conflict covered in the book is Desert Storm, which was such a multi-lateral diplomatic triumph that we have to finish the job now.

These opinions are mine; the author reports only facts in a concise manner. Although he does offer this in conclusion:

"Moral indignation, while a laudable attribute for a powerful democracy, is no substitute for a well-thought out foreign policy."

Between the bookends of Viet Nam and Sept. 11, the historian examines our policies...lest we forget those who sacrificed to carry out those policies. From Mayaguez to Grenada to Panama...they're all here in this worthwhile volume.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Doin' it UN style 


Lynx Pherrett quotes the National Post (article now off-line):

"Four years after it was "liberated" by a NATO bombing campaign, Kosovo has deteriorated into a hotbed of organized crime, anti-Serb violence and al-Qaeda sympathizers, say security officials and Balkan experts."

"Though nominally still under UN control, the southern province of Serbia is today dominated by a triumvirate of Albanian paramilitaries, mafiosi and terrorists. They control a host of smuggling operations and are implementing what many observers call their own brutal ethnic cleansing of minority groups, such as Serbs, Roma and Jews."

"In recent weeks, UN officials ordered the construction of a fortified concrete barrier around the UN compound on the outskirts of the provincial capital Pristina. This is to protect against terrorist strikes by Muslim extremists who have set up bases of operation in what has become a largely outlaw province."

Lynx says it: "...over four years of UN occupation since President Bill Clinton and General Wesley Clark declared the end of major combat operations in Kosovo—not bad for a speck one-fortieth the size of Iraq and with one-tenth the population."

"...the fifth anniversary of the Dayton Peace Accords—the Clinton-Christopher-Albright-Holbrooke-Clark plan that established the framework for Bosnia and Herzegovina that the international community is still trying to implement."

And that doesn't even include the preceding decade of Euro-incompetence and Clintonian irresolution.

And these are the 'experts' to whom we're supposed to defer?


(via Assume the Position)

Thursday, December 18, 2003

You Are the Wings Beneath My Wind 


The Rantblogger informs us that Michael Jackson has converted to Islam, having successfully completed many previous conversions; black to beige and cartilege to silicone being just a few.

Occasional & beginning reader, a 'Mr. Cleo', used his one phone call to remind us of his prediction of one year ago ( at a {different} disturbing website), which we reproduce here, without the usual wine & candlelight:

"Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?"

"I prophesy that Michael Jackson will leave his anonymous brood-sow and marry his true love, Liz Taylor. After converting to Islam, they will travel to Mecca, to live the life Di & Dodi only dreamed of; sailing from port to port, selling Harrod's necktie knock-offs and black-market landmines off the yacht.

After checking in to the Mecca Marriott, Michael will attempt to dangle Liz over the balcony of their 6th floor love nest, before retiring for a planned evening of unspeakable acts taken from the Kama Sutra, the Manboy/Aging Actress Love Assoc. website, and Dept. of Agriculture pamphlet #231: "So, you want to Breed Ostriches, City Boy?".

The Laws of Physics, being as immutable as the Laws of Psychics, I foresee the 2000 lb. sheer-rated lag-bolts which hold the handrail in place will fail, as the would-be love-birds leave their nest, landing on a crowd of fans below, killing 31.

However, among the dead will be a very tall, ugly, bearded woman; who, upon closer inspection, will be revealed to be Usama in drag.

Statues will be erected everywhere to honor The King of Plop for his timely, if overdue, plunge. The statues will consist of 98 lbs. of flattened, light-beige Silly Putty, as Mr. Jackson had the misfortune of landing beneath the unconsummated Mrs. Taylor-Jackson, who miraculously survived the fall. A souvenir album will be released, which features a Jackson cover of 'Blue Velvet'.

It was her 395th marriage. It was his last.

I, Cleodius, do this prophesy."

For a nominal fee.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Dr. Marx, meet Dr. Jung. "Take half of a 2-party system and Karl me in the morning." 


Gov. Howard Dean: "I won't repeat the rumor that BUSHKNEW! without UN permission!"

Vice President Walter Mondale: "We're imposing freedom at bayonet point!"

U.S. Representative Jim McDermott: "We knew where Saddam was all along...we just caught him now for votes!"

Attorney General Ramsey Clark: "I'll defend Saddam!"

Senator Ted Kennedy: "Bush is making the Statue of Liberty cry...and if there's one thing I know, it's Ladies in the Harbor!"

CIA Director William Perry: "Although politicized intel analysis, nukes in N. Korea and 'no human spying' were all official policy during my watch, they're all Bush's fault!"

Secretary of State Madeline Albright: "We've already captured Usama, but Bush is waiting 'til the election to tell us!"

National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski: "Bush policies=Lenin's policies!"

Senator Joe Lieberman: "I had no idea Al Gore was a two-faced, back-stabbing liar...but I'm smart enough to be President!"

U.S. Representative Sheila Jackson-Lee: "Boy Assad gave me a family photo, so I'm throwing him a Bar-B-Q!"

Senator John F. Kerry: "Je délire complètement!...Est-ce que je m'ai mentionné ai servi au Vietnam?"

General Wesley Clark: "I fought an illegal war...so vote for me on that basis!"

U.S. Repesentative Dennis Kucinich: "Anything that comes out of my mouth!"

Senator John Edwards: Who cares, really?

They're all quite mad, you see.

And the maddest of all may be Vice President Albert Gore.

Constraints on both space, Al and the psychotherapist/patient privilege will not allow us to examine the many bizarre statements made by his various & diverse personalities, but to call him 'two-faced' is to miscalculate by a factor of 12.

Let's just say that if he showed up at a hundred-bed psychiatric unit that held only one other patient, that patient would have to leave.

This gang's elder statesman, President Jimmy Cooter, once wrote a speech for Arafat. Shouldn't the only words placed in Arafat's mouth be 'Smith & Wesson'?

How 'bout TheSmartestWomanInTheWorld(tm), Senator Hillary: "The Soviets gave Afghani women their rights!"

I guess 'Bush=Hitler!' wasn't working, so we'll try the "Stalin=Susan B. Anthony!" meme.

Her occasional house-guest, President Bill, blames Usama's rage against America on the Crusades and Gen. Custer. The First Lord of the Legacy paraphrases: "History will be kind to me, for I intend to lie about it." No doubt about it; President Bill is in full Churchillian mode.

If, by "Churchillian", you mean Neville Chamberlain.

Sorry, Neville.

Democrat Presidents, Governors, Senators, Cabinet Officers, Military, Law Enforcement & Intelligence Officers, Candidates & Congressmen... all united in a core belief: America is not the Indispensible Nation, but the Indefensible Nation. All the political pathology flows from that delusion.

Or to paraphrase DR. FDR:

"September 11, 2001; Sedate!...that we'll not live in infamy!"

Fly Me to the Moon, Alice! 


Noted aerophile Mike Hendrix celebrates 100 Years of Winging It.

And, from the early days of aviation (and this blog):

"Horses Don't Fly"

"But cowboys do. At least, Frederick Libby did.

A century ago, he was a young cowboy from Colorado. His wanderlust took him to Canada, where he joined the Canadian Army as a truck-driver, never having driven a truck before. (This was back when Canada still acted like a real country.)

Once in France, he joined the Royal Flying Corps as an "observer", i.e.; the 2nd man in the 2 man crew who acted as gunner/bombardier/navigator/photographer. (This was back when France still acted like a real country.)

He shot down a German plane on his first time out, and eventually had some two dozen 'kills' , becoming a pilot in the new single-man aircraft. (This was back when Germany still acted like, well, Germany.)

Capt. Libby speaks in an almost Twain-esque voice, 'tho as a Westerner, he's quicker to the point than the Southerner Twain.

You may ask "Noel, why would I care about this book?"

Well, as Cicero said ; "Not to know what has been transacted in former times is to be always a child. If no use is made of the labors of past ages, the world must remain always in the infancy of knowledge."

And we already have gobs & gobs of middle-aged children. Please refrain from being one. Thank you.

Plus, it's funny. Capt. Libby says things like "There are no bad horses; only bad people," and " The French mademoiselles are all for winning the War; they are with you down to their last chemise." (This was back when French men still had hair under their arms...and French women didn't.)

You'll learn what Capt. Libby thought of the "Red Baron", meeting Billy Mitchell, & "making the World safe for Democracy".

He was presented the Military Cross by King George for his bravery.

And that's something we all could use these days."

Thanks, Orville. Thanks, Wilbur. Sail on, boys.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

"Tell them I am over here protecting them."  

"And if a daring foe annoys, Whate'er his strength or forces, We'll show them that Kentucky boys Are alligators-horses." -Andy Jackson's campaign theme, "Hunters of Kentucky", 1828.

David Frum has this:

"Ross was the sentry who before dawn on Dec. 10, fired 100 rounds at a suspicious car as it hurtled toward an American barracks near Mosul. The car exploded in a bomb blast, shattering windows in the barracks and wounding 58 Americans and an Iraqi translator - but without fatalities. The car contained 1000 pounds of explosives; when it detonated, it left a hole in the ground 15 feet deep and propelled its engine 250 yards. But for Specialist James Ross of Boone County, Kentucky, some 200 American soldiers might have been killed that morning. It would have been Beirut 1983 all over again - with incalculable consequences for U.S. policy and for the people of Iraq. Thanks to Ross' quick action, we are today celebrating instead America's greatest achievement in Iraq since the fall of Baghdad."

"The man ought to be a national hero..."

He is to us, David, he is to us. Maestro:

"But Jackson, he was wide awake, And was not scared of trifles; For well he knew what aim we take With our Kentucky rifles; He led us down to Cypress Swamp, The ground was low and mucky; There stood John Bull in pomp, And here was old Kentucky."

"Oh, Kentucky, The hunters of Kentucky Oh, Kentucky, The hunters of Kentucky!"

(Music via Dave Kopel)

Devil's Food of the Fudgeweasels 


Axis of Chocolate members France, Belgium & Germany were outraged at what they termed "a perfidous betrayal by a back-stabbing ingrate", as they received the shocking news of Saddam's preference for American Mars Bars over Euro-chocolate.

"Everyone knows 'perfidous betrayal' is France's job...even if we only work 20 hrs. a week," said French President Jaques L'iraq. "Saddam failed to procure the proper EU Betrayal Licenses. Besides, we had a deal; we'll build your nuke plant, just buy French chocolate exclusively."

"You mean 'Euro-chocolate', don't you, Jaques?" asked German President Gerhard Shredder.

"Uhhh...oui, oui, of course, Gerhard," said Jaques. "France would NEVER secretly negotiate behind the backs of its fellow Axis partners!", surreptitiously stuffing the contracts into his silky lingerie.

"Whatever, Jaques," said Shredder.

"Belgium too, is outraged," said Justice Roi Beaneaux, the Belch representative to the World Court. "If we get to try that bastard, we'll throw the book at him; Mme. Hillary's 'Lib-bing History'...it must be good for SOMETHING!"

"That would be cruel & unusable...not unlike the author," said Pres. Shredder.

"Perhaps so. In that case, I will give Saddam the maximum sentence allowed by our law; Life imprisonment, or 60 to 90 days, whichever comes first," Beaneaux petarded. "Plus a thousand-franc fine--that will teach him!"

"If he's only going to serve 60 days, couldn't we at least sentence him to hard labor?" asked Gerhard.

"You mean George Galloway's house?" asked Jaques.

"No; at hard work," replied Shredder.

"What is it with you Germans and that 'Work Makes Free' stuff, anyway?" asked Jaques. "Anyway, the Prisoners Union wouldn't allow it."

"Okay then; it's settled: Saddam will serve 2 months at George Galloway's Ramallah Inn, pay a thousand-franc fine with no hard labor. Yes, its harsh, but Justice must be served chocolate...Euro- chocolate!" decreed Beaneaux. "And speaking of hard labor, there will be no listening to the BBC, either...although that COULD be construed as further punishment."

In other news, Saddam was said to be 'defiant & sarcastic', and demanding his 'right to blog'.

Monday, December 15, 2003

Don't be skeered... 


Steve H. is having way too much fun with the bearded Saddam meme.

If that's possible.

Common Consense 


"A French bastard (William the Conqueror) landing with an armed banditti, and establishing himself king of England against the consent of the natives, is in plain terms a very paltry rascally original. It certainly hath no divinity in it. However, it is needless to spend much time in exposing the folly of hereditary right, if there are any so weak as to believe it, let them promiscuously worship the ass and lion, and welcome. I shall neither copy their humility, nor disturb their devotion."--from Tom Paine's 'Common Sense'.

Mr. Paine believed in the Consent of the Governed. And evidently, he was no great fan of French bastards.

I feel your pain, Tom.

--For the rest of this post, take a look at Consent of the Governed, a new blog created by our pal Tuning Spork, in which we'll examine issues such as "Consent Decrees & Decreed Consent: A Difference without a Distinction or a Distinction without a Difference?"

And we'll have Fun, Fun, Fun 'til the Congress takes our free speech away!

Sunday, December 14, 2003

There are 'Coordinated Expenditures' 


From The Telegraph:

"Details of Atta's visit to the Iraqi capital in the summer of 2001, just weeks before he launched the most devastating terrorist attack in US history, are contained in a top secret memo written to Saddam Hussein, the then Iraqi president, by Tahir Jalil Habbush al-Tikriti, the former head of the Iraqi Intelligence Service."

"The handwritten memo, a copy of which has been obtained exclusively by the Telegraph, is dated July 1, 2001 and provides a short resume of a three-day "work programme" Atta had undertaken at Abu Nidal's base in Baghdad."

"In the memo, Habbush reports that Atta "displayed extraordinary effort" and demonstrated his ability to lead the team that would be "responsible for attacking the targets that we have agreed to destroy"."

"The second part of the memo, which is headed "Niger Shipment", contains a report about an unspecified shipment - believed to be uranium - that it says has been transported to Iraq via Libya and Syria."

Say; didn't Nidal, after years of living peacefully in Baghdad, suddenly commit suicide by falling into waves of machine-gun fire from Hussein's thugs?

And, really; Palestinians working with al Qaeda working with Iraqi Ba'athists working with Syrian Ba'athists working with Libyans?

What are the odds of that?

Next thing you know, we'll have dogs and dogs and dogs and dogs and dogs, all living together.

(via The Corner)


Good afternoon. Yesterday, December the 13th, at around 8:30 p.m. Baghdad time, United States military forces captured Saddam Hussein alive. He was found near a farmhouse outside the city of Tikrit, in a swift raid conducted without casualties. And now the former dictator of Iraq will face the justice he denied to millions.

The capture of this man was crucial to the rise of a free Iraq. It marks the end of the road for him, and for all who bullied and killed in his name. For the Baathist holdouts largely responsible for the current violence, there will be no return to the corrupt power and privilege they once held. For the vast majority of Iraqi citizens who wish to live as free men and women, this event brings further assurance that the torture chambers and the secret police are gone forever.

And this afternoon, I have a message for the Iraqi people: You will not have to fear the rule of Saddam Hussein ever again. All Iraqis who take the side of freedom have taken the winning side. The goals of our coalition are the same as your goals -- sovereignty for your country, dignity for your great culture, and for every Iraqi citizen, the opportunity for a better life.

In the history of Iraq, a dark and painful era is over. A hopeful day has arrived. All Iraqis can now come together and reject violence and build a new Iraq.

The success of yesterday's mission is a tribute to our men and women now serving in Iraq. The operation was based on the superb work of intelligence analysts who found the dictator's footprints in a vast country. The operation was carried out with skill and precision by a brave fighting force. Our servicemen and women and our coalition allies have faced many dangers in the hunt for members of the fallen regime, and in their effort to bring hope and freedom to the Iraqi people. Their work continues, and so do the risks. Today, on behalf of the nation, I thank the members of our Armed Forces and I congratulate them.

I also have a message for all Americans: The capture of Saddam Hussein does not mean the end of violence in Iraq. We still face terrorists who would rather go on killing the innocent than accept the rise of liberty in the heart of the Middle East. Such men are a direct threat to the American people, and they will be defeated.

We've come to this moment through patience and resolve and focused action. And that is our strategy moving forward. The war on terror is a different kind of war, waged capture by capture, cell by cell, and victory by victory. Our security is assured by our perseverance and by our sure belief in the success of liberty. And the United States of America will not relent until this war is won.

May God bless the people of Iraq, and may God bless America. Thank you.

Got Him! 


Saddam is captured in operation 'Red Dawn'.

His Fuhrerbunker was a dirt hole in the floor. He had a taxi-cab, 3/4 of a million dollars American, two Kalashnikovs and a pistol...and the stench of 2 million murders about him.

Well done, gentlemen.


"Well, we still haven't got Osama!" within .00001 seconds; a new World's Record, even for that Political Special Olympics for the Morally-Disabled we call the Democrat Party!

In exchange for Hussein's endorsement, Howard Dean will offer to escort Hussein to the Hague for a 'Celebration of Justice '04!' extravaganza.

Europe will experience the coldest winter on record, as clouds of smoke from the burning of reciepts and diplomatic cables blot out the sun. On the other hand, Europe will finally achieve a space program as its diplomats achieve sub-orbital flight on the strength of their own petards.


Saturday, December 13, 2003

From whence spring our 'Rights' ? 


Why did the Political Class do this?

The stated reason was so that politicians couldn't get around contribution limits by having third parties run ads on the politicians' behalf. The real reasons are arrogance, careerism and a will-to-power.

Suppose the two parties collude to share power, as is done in many European countries, and increasingly here in the States? No voters will be allowed to point out on a broadcast commercial that Emperor Tweedle-Dee and King Tweedle-Dum are swapping their translucent trunks.

And why should any group, left or right, that takes small contributions from thousands of like-minded voters from across the nation, be viewed as a subversion of democracy? Because they want to *gasp*...state a point of view?!!

Hell; that IS democracy.

Every election season, suspects that we otherwise know as doctors, gun-owners, teachers, black people, businessmen and every other voluntary association of Americans you can name, take out ads to convince their fellow citizens of their beliefs. It's something we used to call 'freedom'. Most are fairly conventional, tho' the two most notorious commercials of this kind are probably the 'Willie Horton' and 'James Byrd dragging-death' spots.

I thought it was reasonable to point out that Dukakis had a policy of releasing violent felons on weekend passes (where they predictably re-offended). And I thought it was ridiculous to bash Gov. Bush for not supporting hate-crimes laws when the hate-criminals in question were going to Death Row.

But I NEVER thought--for even one moment--that either the National Security Political Action Committee (NSPAC), headed by former Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Thomas Moorer, or the NAACP & Julian Bond, should...or could...be throttled into silence.

Free speech is not just tea & crumpets at some Stepford garden party; sometimes, it's a Boston Tea Party.

By the way, do you remember those Saudi commercials in which the Slave Power claimed to be an ally in the War on Terrorists? While this Act...and I do mean "Act"...purports to clamp down on foreign money (now that the Chinese have all the blueprints), just how long might it be before O'Connor decides that "all-important first impression" and "international law" require an exemption for foreign governments?

Will the Saud slaveocrats be able to speak, but not, say, New York's firemen? Will America's 'Nam vets be silenced, while that other group of 'Nam vets called 'the Government of Vietnam' be allowed to buy broadcast time?

Way to go, McCain. Proud yet?

Who decides what the Constitution means:
A.) The President ?
B.) The Congress ?
C.) The Supreme Black-Robed Masters of This and All Worlds Yet To Be Discovered ?

Give up? Don't;

The answer is ...D.) The People.

When We, the people ratified our Constitution through our representatives, we decided. We know what 'Congress shall make no law' means.

I do. Don't you?

If the elites get away with this one, there is only one logical stopping place. We may not slide all the way down the slippery slope...but the logic of this 'Act' waxes the skis, pushes the skiier out of the chute, and starts the stop-watch.

What would a Post-Constitutional era look like? The pre-Constitutional era, of course:

"...all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present...is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world."

Let Facts be submitted to a candid world...by a free people, with no 60-day permission slip required by our betters.

Been there; done that.

Theories of the confused notwithstanding, our rights...and duties...come from the hand of Almighty God.

Our Constitution, however imperfect, is a reflection of that fact.

He gave us liberty and charged us with the duty to defend it.

We've been blessed with more freedom for more people for more time than any civilization in history because American men and women answered that call to duty, walking with bleeding feet through the snow at Valley Forge or driving a Humvee through the blistering sands of Iraq...and all because Freedom is an Eternal Idea in the Mind of God.

And you think you are going to silence us because you can't be trusted to do the right thing when nobody is looking?

Shame on you, Mr. President. Shame on you, Sen. McCain. And you, too, Justice O'Connor. Shame on all of you.

Remember this?: "I do solemnly swear that I will... preserve, protect and defend the constitution of the United States, so help me God."

If so, then remember this also: "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

Duty calls.

Answer it.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Where do 'Rights' come from? (pt. 2) 


Thomas Jefferson once said:

"All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view. the palpable truth; that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God...except, of course, 60 days before an election, when it shall be perfectly permissible...Yee-Haw!"

Okay; he had some help.

But how bad is it when even the ACLU takes it's dirty lips off Beelzebub's third hairy tit to correctly defend the Bill of Rights, while a Republican president, a war-hero Senator and a Reagan-appointed justice shred it? To the applause of the Times...remember them? They're the ones always bashing the Ashcroft Thought Police--we've opened our own little thought-police academy haven't we, Pinch?

The Political Class is asserting their exclusive right to shout 'Theater!' in a crowded fire...and protecting your right to remain silent. Insisting on it, even.

"Say, peasant; would you prefer I used the # 9 or # 10 spurs today?"


Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Where do 'Rights' come from? 


"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

That is your First Amendment. Or was.

It now reads:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances, unless a Senator wants to salve his guilty conscience, a President finds it politically expedient or a power-mad Supreme Court wants a good review in the Times."

Every Representative and Senator who voted for this Campaign Finance "Reform" Act, each Justice who voted to uphold it, and yes, the President who signed it, violated their oaths of office. This anti-law is a direct assault on the Constitution and your rights. And now, a Court that is too busy discovering new rights to defend our actual rights has insinuated this virus into the Constitution.

First, it attacks the concept of political parties and interest groups.
What are these parties & groups? They are now known as evil 'special interests', seeking 'undue influence'. The Founders had a different phrase; they called them "people peaceably...assemble(d)...petition(ing) the Government for a redress of grievances."

Even worse is it's blatant assault on free political speech. Somehow, porno cases elicit Shakespeare quotatations from the Court, but the repression of political speech...which the Founders meant to be most fiercely guarded...doesn't even rate an incomprehensible Woody Harrelson quip.

See if this meets your Stink-Test:

I have a right against self-incrimination...except 60 days before a trial.
I have a right to bear arms...except 60 days before a break-in.
I have a right not to be cruelly or unusually punished...except 60 days after sentencing.

Well, the political class just said you have free speech & petition rights...except 60 days before an election. And they gave themselves the power to amend the Constitution by simple majority vote, to boot.

A group of soldiers come home from Iraq. They are discharged and have lots of time on their hands. Instead of excercising their 365-day-a-year Iron Clad Constitutional Right to invest in the exciting computer-generated kiddie porn field, they decide to pool their money for a commercial. They want to support a candidate who believes in raising the death benefit given to war-widows. Oops! It's 59 days before an election! Who do those bastards think they are, anyway? Americans or something?

If Paris Hilton ever rents the advertising space on her left butt-cheek to Joe Lieberman one week before the convention, Justice John Paul Ringo Stevens will pop a gasket.


Alexander Hamilton vs. John McCain 

Mr. Hamilton: "...To discuss measures without reference to men, was impracticable. Why examine measures, but to prove them bad, and to point out their pernicious authors, so that the people might correct the evil by removing the men? There was no other way to preserve liberty, and bring down a tyrannical faction. If this right was not permitted to exist in vigor and in exercise, good men would become silent; corruption and tyranny would go on, step by step, in usurpation, until at last, nothing that was worth speaking, or writing, or acting for, would be left in our country."

"Men are not to be implicitly trusted, in elevated stations. The experience of mankind teaches us, that persons have often arrived at power by means of flattery and hypocrisy; but instead of continuing humble lovers of the people, have changed into their most deadly persecutors."

"The real danger to our liberties was not from a few provisional troops. The road to tyranny will be opened by making dependent judges, by packing juries, by stifling the press, by silencing leaders and patriots. His apprehensions were not from single acts of open violence. Murder rouses to vengeance; it awakens sympathy, and spreads alarm. But the most dangerous, the most sure, the most fatal of tyrannies, was by selecting and sacrificing single individuals, under the mask and forms of law, by dependent and partial tribunals. Against such measures we ought to keep a vigilant eye, and take a manly stand. Whenever they arise, we ought to resist, and resist, till we have hurled the demagogues and tyrants from their imagined thrones."

"But, whatever may be our opinion on the English law, there is another and a very important view of the subject to be taken, and that is with respect to the true standard of the freedom of the American press. In England they have never taken notice of the press in any parliamentary recognition of the principles of the government, or of the rights of the subject, whereas the people of this country have always classed the freedom of the press among their fundamental rights. This I can easily illustrate by a few examples."

"The first American congress, in 1774, in one of their public addresses, (Journals, vol. 1, p. 57,) enumerated five invaluable rights, without which a people cannot be free and happy, and under the protecting and encouraging influence of which these colonies had hitherto so amazingly flourished and increased. One of these rights was the freedom of the press, and the importance of this right consisted, as they observed, "besides the advancement of truth, science, morality, and arts in general, in its diffusion of liberal sentiments on the administration of government, its ready communication of thoughts between subjects, and its consequential promotion of union among them, whereby oppressive officers are shamed or intimidated into more honorable and just modes of conducting affairs.""

Shame indeed. Now let's hear from Mr. McCain:

"(3) Electioneering communication.--For purposes of this
``(A) In general.--(i) The term `electioneering
communication' means any broadcast, cable, or satellite
communication which--
``(I) refers to a clearly identified candidate
for Federal office;
``(II) is made within--
``(aa) 60 days before a general,
special, or runoff election for the
office sought by the candidate; or
``(bb) 30 days before a primary or
preference election, or a convention or
caucus of a political party that has
authority to nominate a candidate, for
the office sought by the candidate; and
``(III) in the case of a communication which
refers to a candidate for an office other than
President or Vice President, is targeted to the
relevant electorate.
``(ii) If clause (i) is held to be constitutionally
insufficient by final judicial decision to support the
regulation provided herein, then the term
`electioneering communication' means any broadcast,
cable, or satellite communication which promotes or
supports a candidate for that office, or attacks or
opposes a candidate for that office (regardless of
whether the communication expressly advocates a vote for
or against a candidate) and which also is suggestive of
no plausible meaning other than an exhortation to vote
for or against a specific candidate. Nothing in this
subparagraph shall be construed to affect the
interpretation or application of section 100.22(b) of
title 11, Code of Federal Regulations.
``(B) Exceptions.--The term `electioneering
communication' does not include--
``(i) a communication appearing in a news
story, commentary, or editorial distributed
through the facilities of any broadcasting
station, unless such facilities are owned or
controlled by any political party, political
committee, or candidate;
``(ii) a communication which constitutes an
expenditure or an independent expenditure under
this Act;
``(iii) a communication which constitutes a
candidate debate or forum conducted pursuant to
regulations adopted by the Commission, or which
solely promotes such a debate or forum and is made
by or on behalf of the person sponsoring the
debate or forum; or

[[Page 116 STAT. 90]]

``(iv) any other communication exempted under
such regulations as the Commission may promulgate
(consistent with the requirements of this
paragraph) to ensure the appropriate
implementation of this paragraph, except that
under any such regulation a communication may not
be exempted if it meets the requirements of this
paragraph and is described in section
``(C) Targeting to relevant electorate.--For
purposes of this paragraph, a communication which refers
to a clearly identified candidate for Federal office is
`targeted to the relevant electorate' if the
communication can be received by 50,000 or more
``(i) in the district the candidate seeks to
represent, in the case of a candidate for
Representative in, or Delegate or Resident
Commissioner to, the Congress; or
``(ii) in the State the candidate seeks to
represent, in the case of a candidate for Senator."

Or in case a Senator loses his mind.

Bush School of Intl. Diplomacy 


And fair-weather "allies" need not apply.

In the spirit of the Geneva Accords, I've authorized myself to negotiate with the following countries:

France: Should Iraq need another Osirik nuke factory, or should there be a garlic-breath shortage in Basra or underarm-hair famine in Haditha, we'll be sure to send you a 'couriel' (that's an 'e-mail' to...well, to everyone else in the whole freakin' world...BUT THE FRENCH!). Vichyssoise, mes amis!

Germany: Ah; without a doubt, the makers of the finest-quality shredders and chemical precursors in the world. Somehow, demand has fallen off drastically. Perhaps you can make up the loss by selling more schadenfreude to psychologists on the beach. Or police batons the Mullahs of Iran. That's Prussian Pacifism for ya'.

Russia: We'd love to hire you but we certainly wouldn't want to take time away from your lucrative nuclear sales to Iran. The Iranians even promise not to give the Chechens a nuke...and if you can't take the word of a bunch of barking-mad 7th-century fanatics, well, who can you trust?

Canada: Here's a neighborly hint, neighbor; "We're not Americans!" is not the same thing as having a culture of your own. Kindly write when you get one. We'll ignore it, but write anyway. And we'll send your Prime County Commisioner a postcard when we've liberated Alberta. If we can calculate the postage. Let's see...at 138 Canadian Loonies to the dollar, that's...$27.13 per postcard!

Hmmm...maybe we'll just mention it to Steyn instead.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Vouch for Students 


"I SEE NO WAY to interpret the voucher program statute in a way that does not run afoul of the principle of local control embodied in section 15. Here, the state is effectively asking, not that I interpret the voucher program statute in a manner to make it constitutional, but that I interpret section 15 as being of so little import that the state can exert total control over a certain segment of instruction. That approach would involve the Court in rewriting the Constitution, something no court may do."

Don't I wish! Unfortunately, today's courts do little else.

The judge who struck down Colorado's modest voucher program did so on this basis:

"Section 15. School districts ­ board of education. The general assembly shall, by law, provide for organization of school districts of convenient size, in each of which shall be established a board of education, to consist of three or more directors to be elected by the qualified electors of the district. Said directors shall have control of instruction in the public schools of their respective districts."

The board also has control of the water fountains in the public schools...but not every other water fountain in Colorado.

And the constitution specifically contemplates children being 'educated by other means'.

There is no more local form of control than parents choosing their child's school.

That's as local as it gets.

(via I Am Always Right)

Venezuela Libre'! 


Millions of brave Venezuelans are trying to remove the criminal & terrorist-sympathizing Hugo Chavez from office. Funny; haven't heard much about it in the American press. huh.

Laureano Marquez explains why at The Devil's Excrement. (hint: it's not about the oil there, either.)

They deserve our support, for ALL our sakes.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

A Pearl of Great Price 


The Emperor Misha I says it for us:

"They stuck with it, through 4 long years of struggle, staring the Devil in the eye, celebrating their victories and dealing with the defeats, never letting go of the throat of the monster until the monster was dead, shunning no sacrifice and, ultimately, doing whatever it took to win, no holds barred."

"We need to emulate that now. We've been doing "OK" so far, but that isn't good enough. That alone won't win the war. We can continue to "play at war" for a long time, this is true, we certainly have the strength and resources for it, but if we want to WIN it, the gloves have GOT to come off."

It is mandatory that we end forever the pattern of de-funding the military between conflicts.

And above all, no more pardoning, rescuing, installing & funding the Arafats of the world. No more visas for 'Death-to-the-West' one-eyed Saudi clerics. No more Muhammed Atta at the Dept. of Agriculture, dressed as Gloria Allred while demanding his constitutional right to a crop-duster and the aerial co-ordinates to the White House. And a higher education system that didn't view it as it's mission to turn out little America-haters would be nice.

Misha: "So remember Pearl, by all means. Never let that day pass away into obscurity, but focus your minds on what had to be done to win, because the times may have changed, but the rules still apply."

As time goes by.

Blogspot Back on the Air! 


Our fearless Sharp Knife reporters have obtained (i.e.; invented) the secret memo containing Howard Dean's Campaign Theme Song;

(to the tune of the great Chuck Berry's 'My Ding-a-Ling':)

When Howard was a little bitty boy,
dreams of power brought him joy.
"Someday, I'm gonna be President",
but Mayor of Vermont was as far as he went.

My Dean a Ling, my Dean-a-Ling, I want you to vote for my Dean-a-Ling.
My Dean-a-Ling, O my Dean-a-Ling, I want you to vote for my Howard Dean-a-Ling!

When Howard went to medical school,
took Viet Nam off to build swimming pools.
The thought of fightin' Commies made his backbone seize,
"Mommy: Send money; baby needs new skis!"

Howard got mad on September 11,
'We'll get those bastards', he swore to heaven.
But when he saw Bush gettin' credit,
by September 12th, he was over it.

Howard gets money on the Internet,
the others dwarves haven't caught him yet.
There's a theory floatin' 'round that it's a scam;
'Hawad Ndean...Nigerian?"

"If we ever catch Hussein,
it's off to World Court with Johnny Cochran!"
Now THERE'S a trial that should be fun;
Howard; you O.J. Simpleton!

What if the World Court aquits,
and makes Saddam the EU President?
It's dinners with Jaques, and lots of fun,
while Howard catches dogs back in Burlington.

My Dean-a-Ling, my Dean-a-Ling, I want you to vote for my Dean-a-Ling.
My Dean-a-Ling, O my Dean-a-Ling, I want you to vote for my Howard Dean-a-Ling!

As a politician, Howard sucks;
As a patriot, he's Howard the Duck.
Dogcatcher is his best bet,
Tho' as an M. D., he'd make a pretty good vet.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

"A World Without Borders" 


Kinda' makes you feel all warm and fuzzy all over, don't it? While I, too, would like to buy the world a Coke and teach it to sing in perfect harmony, Mark Steyn says 'not so fast, there, Sandy!':

"I love borders, the more the merrier – town lines, county, state, and, of course, national. Borders symbolize one of the few remaining constraints on government: You don’t like the grade school here in town? Move ten miles up the road. You don’t want to pay Vermont sales tax? Drive over the river and shop in New Hampshire. Arianna Huffington huffs against “tax loopholes for fat cats”, but I’d say the ability to rent a post office box in Bermuda or the Cayman Islands is a “loophole” in one of the original 16th century senses – an aperture to let in light and fresh air. The fact that there’s somewhere else to go to is the ultimate limitation on government. Borders give people choices – and, to put it in a bumper sticker, “I’m Pro-Choice And I Vote With My Feet”. When starry-eyed utopians speak of a “world without borders”, you can pretty much guess what kind of a place the one-world one-party state would be, with tax rates starting at 60%, about where they are in Sweden right now."

"That’s why Justice O’Connor’s indifference to jurisdictional integrity and partiality to foreigners is not just a kinky fetish but something philosophically incompatible with the job she’s meant to be doing. If you wanted to construct the precise opposite of the US constitution, it would look an awful lot like “international law”. The former is a document that limits the state’s grip on the people, the latter is designed to ensure they can never wiggle free, no matter where they go. “International law” is the new colonialism, the imposition on the world’s peoples of the moral certainties of a remote, unaccountable western elite – indeed, one far less tolerant of local customs and culture than the old-school imperialists. The Europeans haven’t had much luck imposing their laws on Saudi Arabia and Sudan but, thanks to Justice O’Connor, other backward jurisdictions like Texas and Alabama are about to be whipped into line."

A world without borders means a Government Without Borders. What kind of government? A UN-style dog-vomit parliament? A Chinese Lao Gai Legislature? An Islamic Law-Givers Congress--"Where we pledge your lives, your fortunes and our sacred honor-killings." Muhammed Atta believed in a world without borders.

A country without borders is a bus-stop. After dark. In Beirut. And you're wearing a yarmulke. Jew.

No, thanks. Nein, danke. Gracias, no. Merci, non.

Besides, I'm not springing for 5 billion Cokes.


Jay Nordlinger tells you everything you'll ever need to know about James Earl Carter, Jr.

They always have three names, don't they?

Monday, December 01, 2003

"Don't make me pull this tank over, kids!" 


For once, the Lefties are right; we shouldn't be in Iraq. We should be in Damascus by now. And Tehran.

Why do they call it 'occasional irregularity' and not 'irregular occasionality'?

Since private Israeli citizens have taken it on themselves to negotiate a meaningless treaty, I hereby deputize myself to negotiate on behalf of the United States for the immediate & unconditional surrender of France. Yeah; you're right; that one's already been done to death.

Isn't an 'Anarchist's Cookbook' a contradiction in terms?

"When the moon is in the second house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets, and love...BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!
Hey, hippies; how's that whole 'Aquarius' thing working out?

A proposal to fight France also during the War of 1812 lost in the Senate by a vote of 18 to 14...Recount!

Otis Redding Rules. Ditto Mr. Ray Charles, Bo Diddley, Sam & Dave, Wilson Pickett, Al Green, James Brown, Jackie Wilson, Sam Cooke & co.. You kids forget that crap your listening to and go buy some real music. Or the Record Companies win.

Real Peace. Out.

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