Saturday, November 30, 2002

Some Cheery News

State issued visas to 184 people with unknown identities or suspected links to terrorist groups. This year. And they don't know where they are. And they're not looking for them.

Justice only found half of the 4000 people they wanted to talk to after Sept. 11.

Decals for access to military bases are being reported stolen off cars around the country.

A 'Total Information Access' program is being considered, in large part because the Government refuses to control who comes into this country. While it is true this war cannot be won by rules written by the anti-American Church Committee in the 70's, Americans balk at being treated like terrorist suspects by one part of the Govt. because another arm of the Govt. can't or won't do it's job.

And "Islam means Peace", visas for Muslim clerics and amnesties for illegal aliens won't cut it if there is one more attack, especially if they were let in AFTER 9-11.

Bush may well be vulnerable in 2004... not from the left, but from the right!

Serious times.

Before we put away the electric carving knife...

Sharp Knife carves up it's "Turkey of the Year" award nominees.

There are so very many qualified candidates this year, it is hard to choose just one loser/winner.

But in the spirit of judgementalism, we press forward.

Certainly James Earl Carter, Jr. deserves an honorable mention for his call for our unilateral disarmament and his unwavering faith in scraps of paper called 'treaties', signed by self-actualized dictators. And we can't forget his..uh...didn't he win some prize already? He's out.

Colin Powell's call for admitting more Muslim clerics to the United States ranks up there as well. Some of us feel that, well, we've got plenty as it is. And State has 'helped' quite enough already, thank you. No, really. I insist.

Ma & Pa Barker and their test-tube Terrance's abuse of the greiving Wellstone orphans was exceeded only by their effort to shift blame to said orphans when the debacle took on the form of a Khmer Rouge recruiting drive.
But they have dominated the awards for years, so the judges felt other slimy weasels should have a shot at the henhouse.

Our next nominee is the Atty. General for the State of New York, Elliot Spitzer. Evidently, Mr. Spitzer was able to eliminate the Mafia, Corporate crooks, Street Gangs and every terror cell from Lackawanna to Long Island, because he found time to turn his unflinching gaze of Justice upon the real enemies of freedom...Adoption centers. Yes, on orders from NARAL, Spitzer tried to squelch the activities of people whose evil goal was to place babies ...with families! Right on, Elliot! Way too much of that goin' on!

But this year's Tip O' the Knife goes to...

Judges Stephen Reinhardt and Alfred T. Goodwin, who rightly understood the grave threat to our Constitution posed by schoolchildren pledging allegiance 'under God'.

When the political firestorm errupted, they held true to their principle; "Above All, Politics!" and promptly stayed their own order, even with their lifetime appointments to insulate them from the harsh Afghan winters in California.

Yes, this one has it all: Arrogance, Hostility to traditions, cultural tone-deafness, Separation of Common Sense and State, Governmental emnity towards any and all religious expression, Neutrality towards patriotism in wartime, Courts acting as free-floating Constitutional Conventions, able to decree at will, dripping with contempt for the Governed...and some heapin' helpings of good, old-fashioned, yellow-bellied Cowardice.

Other than that, it was a sound, well-reasoned opinion.

"Mommy, it will be alright if I say it under my breath, won't it?"

No, Virginia, it will not. And Santa damn well better integrate his work-force to reflect the diversity within the Elfen Community!

CongRATulations to all our nominees...

We could've done it without you!

Thursday, November 28, 2002

As Usual,

Lileks.com said it betterer. Eat, Eat!

Wednesday, November 27, 2002


is upon us, and our traditions are more important than ever.

Traditions are part of the cohesive web that hold our society together, and have therefore been under attack.

Hold them close, dear friends, those "Mystic chords of Memory".

To those of you who were educated in the public schools, Thanksgiving is a time when we give thanks to the Almighty...not the American Indians. I know; it's a lot to absorb...try not to cry . It's going to be all right!

Let's examine the first Thanksgiving Proclamation by the Father of our Country, shall we?

General Thanksgiving

By the PRESIDENT of the United States Of America

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLIC THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of thefe States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation;

for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;

-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed;

to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

(signed) G. Washington

...and, amazingly, no Circuit Court rose up to denounce this reprobate heretic as a threat to our liberties.

And a note about Mr. Washington;

It is true he owned slaves; it is also true that he freed his slaves and made provisions for them.

Ask yourself this: If you were born into a society where slavery was accepted, would turn down a guaranteed position as 'King of America', free your slaves and set your country on a course of expanding freedom and opportunity for all ?

Before you blithely answer "Of course!", remember someone without the benefit of our wondrous modern moral insight already did just that...so a little humility and gratitude might be in order.

One more reason to be thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Sunday, November 24, 2002

How to Support the Arts, Baffle the Critics, Re-cycle and Win the War...all before Dinner!

First, we scour the Arts Community to find a playwright to, well, write a play claiming Muhammed was gay.

They seem to have drawers full of these about other religous figures; perhaps they could just change a few words.

Liberals will scratch their heads raw, trying to decide if it's multi-cultural blasphemy or a gay-rights breakthrough.

We arrange for the World Premeire in Mecca.

If the Muslims in Nigeria went nuts when it was suggested a man with 72 wives was -hold on!- attracted to women, just wait until they see...

"CAMELS!", a full-fledged Broadway musical starring Nathan Lane as 'Muhammed', the conflicted Prophet, struggling with his sexual identity, Brittney Spears as 'Aisha', his over-the-hill 9 year-old wife, and Harvey Firestone as 'Abdul', the dashing and seductive young camel-boy.

Their blood pressure will pop the eyeballs out of their sockets, their bowels will loosen and begin leaking 40 weight Saudi crude.

In a blind rage, they will begin swinging their scimitars wildly while foaming at the mouth, until their swelling, bulbous heads finally explode!

Then, we gather up all the red and white tableclothes they were wearing as keffiyehs, launder well, and re-use them on the tables of the newly-opened "Porky's Deep South Bar-B-Cue Restaraunts", with locations in Riyadh, Mecca and Jiddah to serve you.

Drive-thru open 'til midnight...and free gasoline to the first million customers!

Dinner and a Show, anyone?


Sherriff Abdullah and his posse rounded up the renegade Kuwaiti police-trainee who wounded 2 of our servicemen.

He had reportedly been in a psychiatric hospital before being given his gun & badge.

"Our Supreme Court just outlawed capital punishment for the mentally ill, so he'll probably just get a very,very close shave", said the Justice Ministry. "Then he will be returned to the hospital."

In related news, an American diplomat in charge of food programs was assasinated and an American nurse was shot in the head repeatedly for the heinous crimes of healing & feeding people, by members of the religion so peaceful, why, it's very name means 'Peace'.

Uhh...How will you tell if the prisoner is inside or outside the nuthouse?

One Tin Foil Soldier Rides Away

A Norwegian company has produced a hat lined with silver foil to prevent harmful (?) cell-phone radiation from hurting the user.

However, this is valuable dual-use idio-technology.

Also guaranteed to block the harmful Ashcroft/Mossad Mind Control Rays while letting VLWC transmissions through!

About 50 dollars American and just in time for the Druid Winter Solstice giving season!

And don't be naughty and forget to re-cycle those old homemade tin-foil hats, boys & girls!

Or Ashcroft will know!

Saturday, November 23, 2002


/smar-me/ adj. 1. marked by smug self-satisfaction. 2. of low, sleazy taste or quality. see also Paul Begala.

...or hear him on Imus.

The Double-Bubble-headed Blowfish can tell a half-dozen lies in one sentence without coming up for air.

That's what gills will do for you.

A little dab of Doc Harkin's Hemorhoidal Vanishing Creme will make that forehead on your forehead go away, Paul... Yeah, you're right; the creme wouldn't know where to stop the vanishing.

St. Pauley's girlish outburst over the FoxNews memo was classic.

The President of FoxNews was holed up in his office for 8 days after Sept. 11; then sent a memo to Bush urging tough action!

Mr. Beguiler ridiculed this...but his Patho-Pres. didn't figure that out in 8 years! And STILL hasn't!

Then he blasted Catherine Harris...for being a 'lying politician'!

Does that mean you'll be going to work for her soon, Paul?

The Good News: "Bush is stupid", "It's still the Economy", "didn't get our message out", etc., etc.

The Beguiler has become the beguiled.


Who would Jesus Date?

We don't have to wonder.

Unlike Nigerian Muslims, who went on a murderous rampage at the suggeston that their Prophet would have approved of the Miss World contest, even selecting a wife from among the contestants.

Our leftist playwrights have informed us who Jesus would date.

The Apostles.

Blasphemy? You bet.

The difference is, we didn't see the need to murder. We think Jesus is big enough to handle it. Protest?; sure. Boycott?; yes. Pray?; we must. Murder; No way.

To our intelligensia, Jesus is a convenient prop or a Stumbling Block. A trans-gendered pacifist who demands us to eat our organic vegetables and raise taxes; anything and anyone but the Risen Son of God.

When the prop becomes unnecessary, He is dismissed as a Shamanic Icon of a superstitous cult. Well, that's not exactly fair...they actually accord Shamans some respect for indigenous 'ways of knowing'.

Muhammed would have indeed approved of the cattle show aspect of the contest. It would have reminded him of the slave markets displaying conquered concubines, a perennial favorite in the Arab world. However, the women would be to old for his taste, by a factor of 2 or 3.

Alas, the contest has been moved to England, a country that seems to be in a death spiral of Orwellian (or rather, anti-Orwellian) madness.

That's too bad.

I was looking forward to Ms. Martha Burk going to Nigeria and trying to open up the Miss World contest to men, in the name of fairess, like she is trying to do at Augusta National.

Surely Miz Burk could show the benighted natives of Nigeria the error of their ways and get them to support male contestants and her eminently reasonable plan to have all men sterilized, or at least be required to get governmental permission to reproduce...in the name of "Reproductive Freedom", of course.

Now THAT would be a contest worth watching!

On your mark, get set, Run For Your Life!

I think Muhammed would approve.

From Hell.

Cheddar-Chewing Appeasement Chimps go Havana Daydreaming, Nightmarishly part.2

The reason I posted Kennedy's speeches was not because I pine for Camelot, but to illustrate the fact that so few in the Democrat Party could give those speeches today...and mean it. There are some who could pay lip service, but a real call to service? Forget it.

Maybe that's when our troubles started. When the Cuban dictator used a "Fair Play for Cuba" dupe to assasinate a President without massive retaliation, the lesson was not lost on Arab terrorists.

Less than a decade later, they had assasinated RFK and were killing our diplomats and hi-jacking our planes...to Cuba!

JKF was no liberal pussy. He got the lesson about appeasement and isolationism. That's why the Oliver Stone version of history is so dishonest. He wasn't killed by right-wing hate...it was left-wing hate that killed him!

JFK's half-hearted backing of the Bay of Pigs invasion may have led to his own demise, by showing weakness to Castro. It certainly foreshadowed the "Don't win, Don't lose" Johnson policy in Viet Nam.

Maybe we could have cut a deal with Ho Chi Minh. Maybe not.

But a vigorous enforcement of the Monroe Doctrine beats a half-measured enforcement of the Truman Doctrine anyday.

Kennedy was not a great President, but a decent one, and he led a party that had not yet become instictively, reflexively anti- American, hostile to American traditions and guilty about American greatness.

That's what I miss.

And it looks like I'm going to miss it for a long, long time.

Friday, November 22, 2002


was murdered 39 years ago today...and his killer still sits on his coconut throne in Havana, awaiting liberal visitors who wish to work on their tans and make excuses for Fidel.

Castro tortures people whose only crime is the desire to vote.

"But he has a wonderful Health-care system!"

He shoots people who criticize him.

"But he has provided education for everyone!"

He imprisons those whom he cannot intimidate.

"But he's going to pose for a photo with me...and autograph it!"

You people have lost it.

You are now the Party of Fromage-Ingesting Capitulation Simians.

You freak out when you hear a Baptist talk about "surrendered wives"...yet, you have no problem surrendering a country, a culture and all the hard-won rights that have been handed to you on a silver platter.

Democrats, hear the words of a real American. An American of your lost Party.

Before your party came to hate America, you had leaders who beleived in this country, and were not ashamed to defend her...

"The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission." John F. Kennedy

(from the first inaugural...)

"I have sworn before you and Almighty God the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed nearly a century and three-quarters ago.

. And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe. . .the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God. We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution.

Let the word go forth from this time and place. . .to friend and foe alike. . that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans. . . born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage. . .and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today. . .at home and around the world.

Let every nation know. . .whether it wishes us well or ill. . . that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and the success of liberty. This much we pledge. . .and more.

.and let every other power know that this hemisphere intends to remain the master of its own house.

those nations who would make themselves our adversaries... We dare not tempt them with weakness.

. Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe. Now the trumpet summons us again... a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle. . .

In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger;

And so, my fellow Americans. . .ask not what your country can do for you. . .ask what you can do for your country."

(This is the Berlin Speech...substitute "Islamist" for "Communist"...)

"There are many people in the world who really don't understand, or say they don't, what is the great issue between the Free World and the Communist world. Let them come to Berlin. There are some who say that communism is the wave of the future. Let them come to Berlin. And there are some who say in Europe and elsewhere we can work with the Communists. Let them come to Berlin."

"All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words 'Ich bin ein Berliner'."

I want to say "Let them come to New York".

"Ich bin ein New Yorker".

"Ich bin ein Israeli."

"Ich bin ein Aussie."

and "Ich bin ein American!"

One more thing;

"Cuba Libre!"

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Officer Unfriendly

The Kuwaiti police-trainee who shot our servicemen fled over the dune into Saudi Arabia.

Doesn't he know the Saudis are our eternal friends and benefactors?

You don't suppose...no, I can't even let myself think that. It's just not possible.

In fact, I think I'll round up some runaway American slavegirls and return them to their Saud masters, just for thinking that.

Just another coincidence.

Yeah, that's it.

UPDATE: The FBI thinks the Saudi government used the bank account of the wife of a senior Saudi diplomat to send tens of thousands of dollars to two ever-so-grateful Saudi students in the United States who helped two of the September 11 Islamofascists.

Gee, the coincidences just keep piling up.

Or, as Goldfinger said to James Bond:

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time is enemy action."

Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, and buy ourselves a brain!

"Attention, Please. Would the theater patron who brought his 8 yr.-old daughter in to see Eminim's "8" please report to the Dept. of Homeland Surgery to have your cranium removed from your anal cavity? Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the movie."

It must be dark in there, too.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

It's Al working according to plan

Al Goreborg is closing in on the Democrat nomination, having just eliminated 2 rivals this week.

First, Gore had his agents in the Senate defeat the provision in the Homeland Security bill that would have limited punitive damages for vaccine producers. This keeps Sen. John Edwards sidebarred, since it is far too lucrative to give up ambulance-chasing just to be a mere President.

Of course, this could drive the drug companies into bankruptcy, thereby denying Americans vaccines when we have already had our institutions attacked and had people killed by anthrax terrorism. Oh, well. That's not important.No cyborg ever died of a virus yet.

Next, Machi-AL-velli made sure that the convention would be in Boston, thus reviving the dreams of Camelot for his evil, evil, evil opponent, Sen. John F. Kerredy of Massachusetts.

After secreting away historian Prof. Robert Dalleck to his Al-Capone vault and assuming his identity, the fake "Prof. D-Al-leck" released JFK's medical records.

In an effort to keep up with his icon JFK, Kerrey will appear before the Democrat convention having swallowed a pharmacy full of narcotics, pineal extracts, bennies, cortisone, sleeping pills, experimental antibiotics and monkey glands.

Kerrey will then give a speech that will call to mind Hunter Thompson delivering a sermon to the Elders of the Mormon Church, with accompaniment by the Tabernacle Choir, Axl Rose singing lead.

This will throw the convention into a panic, and Gore's strategically placed Stepford Democrats will begin the chant; "He wuz robbed! He wuz robbed!, He wuz robbed!".

Having used sick relatives as political props before, and having watched the hugely sucessful First Annual Wellstone Bar-B-Corpse, Gore will show how these lessons penetrated the very circuit boards of his animistic/cyborg brain.

The Master Stroke: Cutting the Gore-dian Knot.

On the heels of their Des Moines Register Moderate-seller, "Joined at the Heart", Al & Tipper move in lockstep, bound upon the stage, where Micheal Jackson's plastic surgeon separates their co-joined hearts live on national television! (Warning : Some Frontal Nudity!).

Gore rises from his gurney and says, "Ss...Single Payer saved our lives...thank you, America!" and collapses on Tipper, ripping the intravenous tubes from her arms, as he tongue-kisses his flat-lining wife.

The convention goes beserk, nominates Gore by acclamation, and Democrats start beating SUVs into plowshares and rioting in the streets of Boston for Sing-Al Payer health coverage!

Then, it's on to New Hampshire!

It could happen.

We're talkin' bout Gore.

Can you dig it?

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Meddling with Honor

I've been reading "Medal of Honor" by Allen Mikaelian with commentary by Mike Wallace (warning bell!).

About half way through it, I realized almost all the stories were of Medal of Honor winners that were either "victims" or champions of left-leaning causes.

I say this in no way to detract from the heroism and sacrifice of those winners.

But one catches the whiff of an agenda by the author...and more than a hint of methane when Mr. Wallace comments.

The first Medal winner profiled is a cross-dressing early feminist. There are also the WW2 and Viet Nam veterans who later became anti-war, an American of Japanese ancestry who was interned, a black veteran who was oppressed and one who was said to be a token. And to be fair, a few with no political overtones.

But taken as a whole, the group seems to have been selected to make a statement.

Now, I'm not for white-washing American history. Nobody's American Dream came without some nightmares along the way. Nor do I beleive all patriots are on one side the spectrum, living a white-bread, unclouded glory existance.

This book is somewhat skewed by the weight of it's choices. However, there are some great stories of heroism and certainly these Americans deserve to have their stories told.

Sadly, some of Mike Wallace's comments are typical bullshit.

For example, he mentions Grenada where the rebels were "said to be in league with Cuban communists."

Yes, and Cubans shot and killed some of our guys with what were "said to be" real bullets, asshole.
And there's no mention of the military-sized airfeild the heavily armed "construction workers" were building.

He goes on to say that "critics charged that the REAL purpose" of Grenada was to cover up the Lebanese disaster 2 days earlier.

The old "critics charged" ploy. No, Mr. Wallace; YOU just charged Reagan with wagging the dog, but you're too gutless to put your name on it.

Then he goes on to Somalia, where he tries to fob off Clinton's Blackhawk Down debacle on Bush 41.
No mention that the Clintons vetoed the equipment the troops needed after they okayed the mission.
No mention that their Sec. of Defense took the fall for them. You didn't really expect the Clintons to accept responsibility , did you?
Can't bring himself to say that Clinton then humiliated the remaining troops, ordering them to act as bodyguards...for the bastard their brother soldiers had just given their lives to capture!
And we certainly don't want to say Aidid's thugs were trained by Osama.

No, we just get Clinton at the funerals, uttering meaningless promises to hunt down the killers, bring to justice, blah, blah, bullshit, lie, lie, oops; a half-truth, false sincerity, sincere falsehood, wave goodbye, slut waiting in Oval office, must cash Johnny Chung's check, maybe Osama will go away if I ignore him, memo to self: lie to self! etc.

Mr. Wallace also tries to beat up on Westmoreland again, neglecting to mention losing him in court.

And he states how he went to Viet Nam a hawk, and came back a dove. A fact of which I'm sure he informed his veiwers at the time.

Mr. Wallace has done some good work in his career. He has also done a lot of slanted, unfair and under-handed interveiwing and reporting.

He should stick to interveiwing his bong and reporting his buzz.

Sharp Knife gives both thumbs up to the Medal winners.

and a sideways opposable thumb to the author.

and a thumb in the eye to the veteran of 60 Minutes; 59 of which have already expired.


Monday, November 18, 2002

David Frum

is writing great stuff at National Reveiw.com.

Today he calls on Powell to resign. Agree.

Powell has been leaking to Woodward to pump himself and dis the Pres. & his policies.

In addition to supporting 'courtesy culture' diplomats who let the the Atta gang fill out their visa apps in crayon, i.e.
"Where will you be staying in America, Mr. Atta?" "uhhh...I stay Hotel 666...in Amaricka!" "Good enough...here's your visa! Hey, you dropped your boxcutter...here you go ; Have a nice visit!"

We have tried it their way already; State talked Reagan into pressuring Israel to let Arafat return from exile; sucess or failure?

State sold Bush 1 on Coalition worship; sucess or failure?

State loved Clinton's North Korea and Oslo/ Arafat/ Wye River policies; sucess or failure?

300 strikes...you're out.

Frum also points out how Noam Chomsky supported regime change in East Timor...Now Osama lists that as one of his beefs, but Chomsky hasn't accepted responsibility for provoking the war yet!

He mentions an incident in WW1, where the German Ambassador told our Ambassador that Americans wouldn't fight and 500,000 German Americans were loyal to the Kaiser. Our Ambassador said if that was the case, we had 500,001 lamposts in America (to hang the traitors). Compare that with the wishy-washy diplo-drivel that comes out of Washington today...and mourn.

Frum is right; the principled thing for Powell to do is resign. Bush should insist...and accept.

Sunday, November 17, 2002

Fisking Helen Thomas

Even the SOUND of that scares me.

But, it's like shooting a barrel...in a barrel.

The old nag is all worked up about the military recruiting in high schools, saying the military has "landed". You'll know when they land, Helen. There's usually a naval bombardment beforehand, or at least a CNN camera crew on the beach to illuminate them and give away their position.

She worries that students' info will be given out to the Forces of Darkness, though she concedes that service is honorable.

Uh, Helen; we knew that.

You must be talking to your friends.

Then she goes on about how minorities will be fooled into becoming cannon fodder, while whitey gets scholarships. Yes, every University is the old Selma Mater, despite the fact that they find every conceivable reason & excuse for giving scholarships to minorities. Indeed, the Services give out boatloads of scholarship money as well.

And you rightly complained when the Services weren't open to minorities...now they are TOO open?

Her real beef is with the "endless war", blah blah blah. It took us a half-century to defeat the Commies...and they are not totally defeated yet. Maybe we could stop fighting crime too; after all how long has that been going on? The Crime Family we are facing now goes back a millenia, not just to Red October.

We may actually need the best and brightest of our young people to defend this country. Their country. In their military.

Or do you prefer Hessianism?

Remember Viet Nam, Helen? Your side said "We won't fight in 'Nam, but we'll fight if this country is attacked!".

Guess what?

It's Howdy Duty time!

And of course, her REAL, real beef is with the true enemies of Humanity...Republicans!

You see, Helen was once a young reporter, on top of her game, with a dashing young Democrat in the White House and all was right with the world.

That was 40 years ago.

Simple human decency would compel me to advocate your retirement, Helen.

But this is Sharp Knife. We don't do simple human decency here.

We want you right where you are, in the Front Row, serving up slow pitches for the President, exposing the left for what it is; foolish, shrill, outdated and irrelevant.

So we implore you not to retire to Sam Donaldson's wig ranch in New Mexico to raise Mohair subsidies, but to stay put in Washington.

You're doing a great service for your country.

And so will those high-schoolers.

Leap Year of Faith in Government

Heard a DJ doing a "Your tax dollars at work" spoof. Seems the Govt. printed up millions of calendars...and added a day to the month of November, making all the days in December wrong.

The DJ made fun of the waste and the fact someone didn't know how many days are in a year.

But the underlying issue is why Govt. feels the need to print calendars at all.
Note to Feds: Calendars are free at half the businesses in town!

Was there a calendar famine this year? What's next; paying printers not to print them?

They are probably mailed (also "free") by Congressmen to constituents as a re-election tool.

Shouldn't they at least pay for the printing, like my hardware store does when they give me one?

Yes, it's a small thing. But it shows how Govt. grows and grows.

366 days a year.

First Personality, Singular

In an effort to close the 'Marrige Gap' and become the nation's first Android-American President, Al Gore proposed Single-Payer health care for all Americans.

"Single people owe it to people who are married with children. They don't know what it's like," said Al Bundy-Gore.

"We need to do this for all the little women," continued Alcott Gore,"and all the little children of color," claimed Fat Albert Gore, "so no senior will ever have to choose between dog food and their prescriptions...they can have both!" said Pharmaceutic-Al-po Gore.

"Besides, America needs a leader with proven military experience ," said Al-cibiades Gore, "a leader who, like me, has been to the moon and back." claimed the obviously buzzed AL-drin Gore.

"And I will never lie to the American people...one of my other personalities might, but I never will," asserted the Clinton veep , as Tipper motioned to the Secret service agents to hustle him off the stage.

"Please excuse my husband," said Tipper. "He's just got...uh...personalities, I mean personality to spare."

Uhh...better make sure intensive psychiatry is included in that Wonderland plan, Al-ice.

In Tents, Tension

Saddam is reportedly thinking of folding his Ba'athist Big Top and moving to Libya, like a pimp fleeing across the county line one step ahead of the sherriff.

Good Idea.

Get a little tent in the desert you can share with Kadhafy's kids.

3 am, one moonless Libyan night...

"What's that noise?"

Friday, November 15, 2002

Mad Cow Disease

50 naked women of Marin County laid down on the grass of Love Feild to spell out the word "PEACE" with their bodies, claiming it was an act of "solidarity" with the Iraqi people, whom they claim America has starved and slaughtered.

'Scuse me, ladies; Are you sure this isn't the Walker-Lindh lesbian-half-of-the-family reunion?

The photo reminds me of something...

I know! When Saddam and his henchmen pluck women off the street and serially rape them, they are then taken to Saddam's 'Love' feild outside your sister city of Baghdad. After the bullets enter their skulls, they fall gracefully, even wistfully, to the ground...in the shape of perfectly formed Arabic words!

Words like "RAPE". "TORTURE". "MURDER". even "HELP!"

Dear Naked Women,
Thank you for your recent show, 'Disrobing for Dictatorship'; Marin County has already done so much for the cause.
Rest assured that the Genocidal Dictator of Iraq appreciates your support of Iraqi Performance Art, and he would love to come to your community to give a performance. He recently co-sponsored several highly sucessful shows in Lower Manhattan, D.C.and Pennsylvannia.
Yours in solidarity, Tariq Aziz.
(P.S. Please lose the fat chick in the first letter "E"...Mr. Hussein says she reminds him of his 34th wife, R.I.P.-T.Aziz)

I've got a 'solid' suggestion;

Sober up.

Put your clothes back on, if you were wearing any to begin with.

Get in your Volvos.

Drive down to Camp Pendleton.

Remove your clothes. Again.

And, if they'll have you, offer yourself to the first Marine you see, out of gratitude, before he goes off to some stinking, 3rd world hellhole to keep silly little children like you safe, legal...and rare! Think of it as a "Toys for Tits" charitable donation.

Then put your clothes back on, drive back to Marin and organize a new protest.

To add an "E" to the end of the word "MARIN".

You'll gain something you've never had.

The Thanks of a Grateful Nation.

Semper Fi, Sisters!

Thursday, November 14, 2002

Thank you, Thomas Edison

We just fried the murdering bastard who opened fire outside the CIA.

So THAT'S why I felt the urge to turn off all the lights and appliances earlier!



Come...Feel the love!

After those last two harsh, judgemental posts, I feel the need to post something warm, pastel and fuzzy.

Something like this:

"Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all." -G.K. Chesterton

or " If you judge other people, you have no time to love them" - Mother Teresa

That's sweet.

Or the perennial "All you need is love." - Lennon/McCartney

There. I think I feel a little better.

Wait a minute... didn't they also say "Happiness is a warm gun."?

That reminds me of this one;

"The first jet I ever saw, I shot down." - Chuck Yeager

Now I feel warm and fuzzy all over. All better now!

By the way, that was a German jet, not a MIG. Though he shot those down also.

If you have never read the autobiographies of Gen. Chuck Yeager, you are missing out. From a country boy hunting squirrels in West Virginia to dogfighting Nazis and conducting sabotage and escaping capture with the French Resistance (Yes, Virginia, there once was a French Resistance), to breaking the sound barrier, and even stalking the golden trout in the Sierra Nevadas, the stories of this American Icon are treasures.

Read "Yeager" & "Press On" if you want to know about a man who dedicated his life to keeping us free, and had a hell of a time doing it.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

"Parents" & "Teachers"; Leave those kids alone!

Pre-schoolers in Berkeley are being used as tools to protest the war and denounce Pres. Bush 'cos he wants to kill people instead of talk to them. Naturally.

This is child abuse, but what can one expect from these Stalinist vampires, fresh from drinking blood at the Wellstone Coven & Party Congress.

What can one say about a movement that uses their dead, their children, their marriges and even orphans as political props...I guess the 'personal is political' , as their old saying goes.

"What did you learn at pre-school today, little Fidel?"

"We learned that President Bush wants to kill people...for oil. What's 'oil', Mommy?"

You people should hang your heads in shame...oh, that's right; you outlawed shame.

If, God forbid, there is ever a school shooting, would you call the brutal "Pigs" to take out the shooters; or get Phil Donahue to have a little chat with them?

Here's another one of your old sayings;

We will steal your children.

Why not? You are stealing their childhood. And their innocence. And their patriotism.

And, if you have your way, their very future.

Funny; they're the children...but you're the babies.

Grow up.

Preferably, before your children.

The Presidential Clearing House Legacy Patrol

stopped by the house in Chappaqua...and nobody was home.

Two Clinton lackeys have come out with a book claiming that Clinton wanted to attack Bin Ladin with black pajama-clad Ninjas...but the military wouldn't let him cos' they were mad about gays in the military!

Let's picture this...Daddy Grifter and Ma Barker are watching Bruce Lee movies in the White House theater...

Crouching Bill, Hidden Hill...

" I know ! We'll send Ninjas after that Bin Laden guy. Honey, do you still have all those black pajamas from your tour in Viet Nam?"

"No, I donated them to charity and wrote them off as a tax deduction, like your underwear."

"Well, get me General Shelton on the phone..."Gen. Shelton, This is your Commander-in-Cheif. I'm ordering you to go after Bin Ladin with Helicopters and Ninjas...What's that... umm...I see...Okay." (click).

"He says he won't do it unless I forget about my Paul Lynde Brigade idea. Someday, that Arab nut is going to attack America, and it will be the military's fault for not letting me get him!...now, where were we?"

"We were talking about the Puerto Rican bombers you're going to pardon so I can get the Puerto Rican vote when I run for Senate."

"Have they asked for pardons?"

"No, asshole. You run over to the prison and ask them to accept one. Now."

"Yes, dear."


You people have no legacy, except making Boss Tweed look civic-minded and Benedict Arnold look patriotic by comparison.

Take your cigars, your Chinese money and your degree in cattle futures trading from Wellesley and go the fuck away.

You did seem to care about civil rights...Osama's civil rights.

Our first boy-president and his pathologically power-mad consort have left, and will continue to leave, a wide swath of treason, degeneracy and destruction throughout America, including Washington D.C., Lower Manhattan and a feild in Pennsylvannia.

The very worst of a generation.

True Scum.

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Random Universe

How 'bout 3 strikes and you're out-marriges? You get 3 chances to get it right (death of spouse doesn't count). After that, you are just joking.

Men should NEVER wear those little Speedo swimsuits in public. It's just wrong! Stop it!

I admire AA tremendously, but alcoholism is not a disease. Sorry.

Pacifism is not healthy for children, flowers, animals or other living things.

Those Iranian students are some of the bravest people on earth.

How come so many veterans had to work Monday and every Govt. employee got the day off? If you are going to name a holiday after someone, only they should get the day off. For example, the unemployed should stay at work on Labor Day.

For non-political hilarity & inebriated musing, try my friend Steve's littletinywit.com...you'll be sorry! Promise!

Vlad the Incisor

You have got to love the cutting remarks by Mr. Putin today.

Of course, the Euros don't need Russian help; they are self-castrating.

One must be born in the USA to be President...

but not Secretary of State!

Secretary Putin...Da!

"Iraqi Parliment"

is yet another self-contradicting phrase, like 'Islamic Law'.

Some reporters weighed their deliberations as if some 'No' votes could be expected from the moderate northeast Ba'athists.

Anyone in that so-called 'Parliment' are like the people in the Russian theater...they are either terrorist collaborators or hostages.

By the way, does anyone remember Helen Thomas lecturing Clinton about why he was going into Haiti and not Cuba also?

Didn't think so.

J-school jerks.

Sunday, November 10, 2002

Voluntary Servitude takes a Roman Holiday

A half a million...wait a minute...100,000....50,000...all right, 3 VW vans full of otherwise unemployable EUths descended on the historic city of Florence, one of the great centers of Western Civilization, to protest...Whatever!

Corporate Sponsor of the colorful gathering, rEUters News Service, said the event should have been scheduled before the US elections and the Security Council vote, but European welfare checks had not yet arrived at the homes, hovels and abandoned cars of the protesters.

A delegation from Spain said they missed their Islamic Masters since they departed centuries ago, and wished to return to the warm, fuzzy cocoon of cradle-to-mass grave submission to Islamic Law. "We used to be Communists, but we feel sha'ria is much closer to our actual beleifs," said Franco Franco Allday, an unemployed layabout from Majorca, representing the Cote' d Azur Beach Bum Union, Local #967.

One French protester, who gave his name as 'Claude', scanned the skies in vain for a CIA drone. "Ashcroft is everywhere," he mumbled in a pensive voice, meant to convey the impression of deeply sophisticated, yet ultimately incomprehensible French intellectualism.
" In the name of Equalite', France should become an Algerian colony for a while, no?", said 'Claude'. "If your Norman Mailer claims zee World Trade Center were two buck teeth on zee face of New York, zen we claim zee Eifel Tower is a rather large pimple on zee ass of Paree'! "

A young woman appeared, carrying a Brillo Pad under each armpit, and a sign saying "Escargot' Cult of Paris: Race to Save the Snails!".
"I am Bridgette Bordeaux, 'Claude's' girlfriend," she said. "He's a brilliant novelist."
"You are not my girlfriend; you are my mistress. Give me a cigarette, bitch!" said 'Claude'.
"He loves me," she said, lighting his cigarette."We despise America...can you help us get visas?" she asked.

One of the protestors, a young Italian named Benzio Dreeni, spoke rapidly through a bullhorn;

"We call on Bush and Berlusconi to declare 'Peace' and submit at once to our demands for American disarmament, 364 paid vacation days per year, apologizing to Saddam and free pizza delivery. If I, a part-time gigolo of Italy, can accept castration, anyone can!" shouted Benzio, to the roaring approval of the thoughtful mob.

The event was scheduled to last through the weekend, or until all the synagogues are burned and the wine runs out.

When reached for comment, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said "They have a point. We just hadn't looked at it that way. I think we need to reconsider. Maybe it should be Florence first...THEN Baghdad."

Fumigate Now! They're getting away!

Fisk me 2 times babe, Fisk me twice today...Fisk me 2 times, Please GO AWAY!

The Rottweiler rips the rhetorical flesh from the lilly lumpenass of Bobby Fisk...and Armed & Dangerous mercifully (for us) finishes the job.

It seems Ms. Fisk's crotchless undergarments were creeping on him again, affecting his self-esteem and forcing him to write yet another column of defeatist drivel.

In his latest panty-wad pantomime, Fisk waxes indignant that we used an armed CIA drone for a "targeted kill" on a group of blood-thirsty murderers. Mr. Fisk asserts they were merely travelling in their Scooby van on their way to their next cartoon adventure. And since one of them was a loyal American from Lackawanna, we should have parachuted in Johnny Cochran instead.

Fisk bravely comes out against 'targeted kills'. Of course, he's also against 'indiscriminate bombings'. And Fisk deplores 'hand-to-hand combat' since his experience with Afghani literary critics. Hmmm...doesn't leave us many options, does it?

Maybe we could drop subpeonas on them and force them to appear in a civil proceeding before Judge Ito. That'll teach 'em!

Bobette comes up with one usable suggestion, however. He quotes his alter-ego Lawrence of Arabia saying "war or rebellion is messy, like eating soup off a knife."

It's dinnertime in Guantanamo again!

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Let the dead speak to the living

Leopold Karpeles...an immigrant, a Jew, a Texas Ranger, an Underground Railroader, a Lincoln man and as flag bearer for the 57th Massachusetts, an American who earned the Medal of Honor for rallying his troops during the truly hellish Battle of the Wilderness.

"I am aware that while I'm providing a rallying point and courage for my comrades, I'm also a prime target for the enemy. I vowed to accept this risk when I assumed this obligation which I consider a privelige and an honor."

"My dedication to my country's flag rests on my ardent beleif in this noblest of all causes, equality for all. If my future rests under the earth rather than upon it, I fear not."

Karpeles, once a penniless boy from Prague, came to know Presidents, even asking McKinley to let him serve in the Spanish-American War, saying if he couldn't march anymore, he could still ride a horse.

Replying to a letter Karpeles had sent him years after the Civil War, his old officer Capt. John Anderson wrote;

"Glad to hear from you and glad to find you still on the shores of mortality, where our numbers are fast diminishing. Our duty now lies in planting the principles and memory of the great struggle in the hearts of generations to follow us, endear the old flag to them that you carried so faithfully and gallantly from the Wilderness to North Anna and teach them to love the country that was saved at such sacrifice."

Sgt. Leopold Karpeles, Capt. John Anderson...veterans and Americans.

War Pigs

One doesn't have to be conservative or libertarian to support the War against Terrorists and the nations that sponsor them.

Feminists should oppose them since they degrade women.

Multi-culturalists should oppose them because they are mono-cuturalists.

Atheists should oppose them for their Theocracy.

Arms-controllers should oppose them for proliferation.

Free Thinkers should oppose them because they are book-burners.

Peace-niks should oppose them because they are war-mongers.

Civil Rights democrats should oppose them for fake elections.

Lawyers should oppose them for lacking any due process and for show trials.

Media should oppose them for their State-run broadcasting.

Hell, they're even cruel to dogs, if that's what it takes to get PETA onboard.

Or, you could just be a decent person who doesn't want to be bombed, blackmailed or submit to Islamic law. Hey! There's one for you. Like Jumbo Shrimp or Army Intelligence...Islamic "Law"! (Sorry, Army).

But, as Victor Davis Hanson points out, the unifying theme of the Left has been adolescent Anti-Americanism.

Or we get half-hearted support.

As Walter Mondale put it; "You don't have to worry about terrorism with me. I'm against it."

Thank you, Mr. Churchill.

I was going to write a peice pointing out the shortcomings of my own Republican Party, but I started thinking about how many rights have been lost in the countries most similar to our own; England , Canada & Austrailia, and I lost interest. Scary.

It just makes me glad to be an American.

Instead, I'll do it in a round-about way by praising two men who have shown the courage of their convictions: Ron Unz and Ward Connerley.

They have both stood up to the forces of PC to do what is right, opposing the new Jim Crow laws and encouraging immigrants to learn English for their own sake as well as ours.

They have endured insults & threats, and spent large amounts of time and money to prod the Blob into doing the right thing for a change. Both Establishments wish they would go away, but they keep working for all our benefit.

Special thanks to Rita Montero, whose car was firebombed in Colorado by the forces of 'Tolerance', for her work to bring an end to students being illiterate in two languages.

Thank you all.

Our Friend

Jonathan Last at Weekly Standard.com has opened up the Features & Articles to non-subscribers this week in celebration of electoral victories.

Fred Barnes says we are a 53/47 % nation without a gender gap.

Max Boot wonders why we complain when Israel does the same thing we just did in Yemen with the CIA drone.

Debra Saunders says get ready for more Californians moving in next door.

All this and Larry Miller! (scroll down).

Good Stuff!

Unintended Consequences: Why I am not a Libertarian

Libertarians have many compelling beleifs and positions, some of which I agree with. Others I sympathize with. Yet they hold other veiws that can be compared to taking down all the stop signs so the rights of motorists will not be infringed.

I subscribe to the Founder's 'risky' scheme of ordered liberty. That means that in this fallen world there are no absolute rights except the right of conscience. I beleive John Adams was essentially correct when he said "Our Constitution was meant for a moral and religious people. It is unfit for the governance of any other." He understood that people watching child porn while shooting heroin were incapable of ruling themselves, let alone participating in self-governance. This does not mean you must enroll at Falwell's church. It means barbarians are congenitally unfit and one has a duty to be a reasonably responsible citizen.

Let me explain. Every right you can think of is good...up to a point. In our "All Rights, All the Time" culture we tend to forget the other side of the coin...Duties.

You have the right to assemble and petition...and the duty to see it doesn't turn into a riot.

You have the right to own firearms; to defend yourself and to keep the Govt. from becoming tyrannical...and the duty to serve in a militia if your country is invaded.

You have a right to religious freedom and to raise your children as you see fit...and a duty to see that a Koresh is not molesting them while Jim Jones mixes up refreshments.

And on it goes.

Let's look at some of their positions;

On our role in the world: They have adopted a Buchananite Isolationist position that says no American involvement anywhere, anytime. I have some sympathy for pulling troops out of Europe and forcing them to act like grown-ups for a change. This would force them to either defend themselves or to meekly submit to totalitarians yet again. Our interest should be the guiding principle.

But I am persuaded by the larger argument that someone WILL lead. If not us, it will certainly not be the Europeans. The Arab world? Latin America? By default it would be China. No thanks.

They seem to be allergic to the use of force except in a clear-cut Pearl Harbor instance. But our enemies aren't cooperating with that scenario, therefore leaving us defenseless by Libertarian lights. This undercuts the one overarching duty of the Federal Government...to provide for the common defense.

They support wide-open borders. This puts them in league with The Republican Establishment that sees votes and cheap labor, The Democratic Establishment that sees even more votes, more Racialism and a massive expansion of the Welfare State...and all three parties are diametrically opposed to the wishes of the American people. This will be a huge opening for someone politically. Right now only a few lonely Republicans (and Buchanan, sigh) are addressing the issue.

While immigration has given us Einstein and Rick Rescorla, wide-open borders have given us Muhammed Atta, Lee Malvo, Sept. 11 and prisons packed with violent foreign nationals. It must be addressed.

Of course, the big issue for Libertarians always seems to be Drug Legalization. I cannot support this. I watched some of the best people of my generation go down in flames. I do not support the excesses of enforcement such as property confiscation by law enforcement which give a personal financial stake to officers involved. But I do not beleive you have a Constitutional right to smoke crack. And the first Rastafoolian who gives my daughter a joint will find his rights end where my hands choke the life from his limp and dying body.

Now, let's really alienate some readers and get into the "social issues"!

I used to find the autonomy argument for abortion compelling. But I came to realize that it was an issue of consent. Because there is no perfect contraception, a form of consent is given when the panties come off. When another life is then formed, that life has precedence. This does not apply in rape, as there was no consent given.
And I certainly object to Judge-created law...this is little but judicial tyranny. Whatever the law may be, it should be with the consent of the governed.

As for gay rights, I don't want a government to interfere with the private association rights of individuals...nor do I want them to use the public schools to indoctrinate. We always hear about separation of church and state, but schools are being used to teach the State Religion of Gay Rights, Tree Worship, Multi-Culturalism & Radical Feminism. They have no more right to do that than does Mullah Omar. Yet, I want the children to learn the Pledge of Allegiance. Inconsistent?...perhaps, but the one promotes a general societal good while the other represents a narrow personal agenda.

On a tactical level, a Libertarian vote generally represents the loss of a Republican vote. Since there is no parlimentary system, that means the Statism of the Democrats is advanced.

I can certainly understand the frustration of seeing the Republicans failing to roll back the Nanny state. But at least they have heard of the concept.

That's more than you can say about the Defeatist Day-Care Wardens called Democrats.

Friday, November 08, 2002

Some (slightly edited ) Quotes

"O, Jihad thou son of Hell" - Shakespeare

"Jihad is delightful to those who have had no experience of it." - Erasmus

"My first wish is to see this plague of mankind, Jihad, banished from the earth." - Geo. Washington

"I am insulted by the persistant assertion that I want Jihad. Am I a fool? Jihad! It would settle nothing!" - Hitler

"Jihad is over...if you want it." - John Lennon

The Next Minority Leader...

He knows his way around the Capital.

He's a member of both a racial and religous minority.

He mentors youthful offenders.

He's as Anti-War and Anti-American as they come.

And he's a veteran.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you the next Minority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives...

John Allen Muhammed!

Yes, Dems, why mess around with that old Commissar-Crone Nancy "My Left Foot" Pelosi?

You want an authentic 'take-the-initiative' kind of guy in there, one who's not afraid to take his message to the American people.

C'mon, you've made Mumia a cause celebre', protested for him, given him jobs, speaking engagements, bought his books...and he only killed one cop. Surely John Muhammed has earned the right to be your Leader, if not your Presidential candidate in '04!

Just think; will you ever have a more impassioned opponent of the Death Penalty?

He could help fix Homeland Security; The FBI ignored reports about him, he was manufacturing fake visas in Antigua, and running around the country with a stowaway unlawfully released by INS.

And he brings the Farakan voters with him!

It's all good!

Democrats: Vote your convictions, early and often, for your new savior...


Thursday, November 07, 2002

Having described the Anti-president, it is now my duty to describe what a real leader of men might look like. A leader who could inspire this:

"To the memory of the Man, first in War, first in Peace and first in the hearts of his countrymen..."-Col. Henry Lee

In his own words...

..."That the foundation of our national policy will be laid in the pure and immutable principles of private morality, and the preeminence of free government be exemplified by all the attributes which can win the affections of its citizens and command the respect of the world."

" I dwell on this prospect with every satisfaction which an ardent love for my country can inspire, since there is no truth more thoroughly established than that there exists in the..course of nature an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness; between duty and advantage; between the...honest... policy and the solid rewards of public prosperity and felicity;"

... "the propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right which Heaven itself has ordained;..the preservation of the sacred fire of liberty and the destiny of the republican model of government are...deeply,... finally, staked on the experiment entrusted to the hands of the American people."- The Honorable George Washington

And you thought you were hip.

Clintonized Maximus

When we say the Dems have become Clintonized, we mean they have sold out every principle, compromised all their ethics and subjugated every decent impulse to obtain power and personal gratification.

I can prove it.

When Clinton was in South Florida, he was dining with Florida Gubernatorial candidate Bill McBride. He spied an attractive young lady at the bar and asked McBride to fetch her. The young lady's date appeared and told them to go to hell.

Did McBride say " Gee, Bill; didn't you get in a lot of trouble last time you did this?"

Clinton: " The last time? That was this morning!"

Or " I'm running for Governor of Florida to help the people; I can't be involved in this".

Or even " Evita will kill both of us...You're on your own!"


McBride jumped at the chance to pimp for the john from Chappaqua like an Arkansas State Trooper with an overdue trailer mortgage, whose job depended on keeping the Boss supplied with hookers.

My beef with Clinton was not for thinking with his dick. That's a common affliction. It was for putting himself before anything & everyone. Perjury, Conspiracy, Dereliction of Duty, Witness Tampering, Bribery. And selling out our national security for both ideological and financial reasons.

But even those who do not share his treasonous impulse seem to share his amoral pathology of power, especially when drawn into his orbit. He is quintessentially the kid your parents would never let you associate with.

Your parents were right.

More Bias Buffoonery

Did you notice how the Media at first refused to call it a 'victory of historic proportions'? ; they just quoted the White House calling it that.

We would still be seeing screaming banner headlines if a Democreep were in office. Oh well; that's one reason we are all blogging. And one more reason to keep our arguments sharp: we reach people we never know. I can't help but feeling that bloggers contributed yesterday.

Next, they will try and give credit to Rove and spin it as a win for pragmatic moderation, trying to water down conservative policy. In a sense, they may be right. Republicans do represent the mainstream because Democrats have largely become socialists and worse.

When you are a Vast Right Wing Conspirator, every election is a "coup d'etat"! Congrats, fellow plotters!

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

Why we won and they lost...

Much credit has been given to Pres. Bush's popularity as the reason for the win, but few say why he is popular. Yes, there is a 'Rally round the flag' effect, but simply put, most Americans veiw him as a decent man trying to defend the nation in a perilous time.

They compare that to the previous President, who stills runs the Democrat Party, who couldn't tell the truth if his balls were in a vise. Who let Osama get away and who orchestrated the Wellstone Orgy and then blamed the orphans. And who they suspect may actually enjoy his balls in a vise.

Voters saw Democrats denounce Bush from Baghdad. They saw good judges, one who fought the Klan, denounced as racist. They watched the Senate put union money before the security of their families. They shook their heads as liberal judges criminalized the Pledge of Allegience as foreign bombers & assassins murdered their neighbors.

The Dems are lucky to have won as much as they did. There was no doubt fraud involved even in that.

It's hard to convince people that Republicans want to poison the water when there are real, live terrorists that are studying exactly how to do just that...and your party wrings their hands, expressing endless 'concerns', finding everything 'deeply troubling' and finding excuse after excuse for doing nothing about it.

Even their press lackeys couldn't paper over the brain-dead, Viagra-immune collection of outdated Socialist misfits and their 'Blame America Now' & 'Tax their Asses Off ' policies.

But that won't stop the press from trying.

Scanning the headlines this morning, I saw how we 'seized' & 'grabbed' power in 'a coup d'etat'.! Gee, I thought elections were the opposite of a coup. We didn't 'grab' or 'seize' power.. we were entrusted with it.

Listening to PBS this morning, Robert Reich informed me what a terrible, terrible thing this was for Pres. Bush.
Were you in charge of losing the Congress for Clinton, Bob?

This evening, they said the last time this happened was...The Great Depression! I turned off the radio.

It's not the Economy, stupid. We tried looking through that Marxist lens already.

It's Freedom, with Security.

It's the Liberty, stupid.

Try it sometime;

or keep 'seizing' defeat.

You earned it, fair & square, for a change.

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Another Election Day in Athens

calls for one more Aristotle quote;

"To enjoy the things we ought and to hate the things we ought has the greatest bearing on excellence of character."

Do Not Vote Today...

...if you beleive war can be avoided simply by never speaking the word. That is the magical thinking of a 5 year-old, and you are not mature enough to participate.

...if you want to vote with your TV remote. If you give more consideration to a new beer commercial during the Superbowl than the future of your country, just stay on the couch.

...if you are a moral relativist. Who are you to say who should hold office? You can't even defend your relativism.

...if you have already voted. That is the fascism you so easily decry in others.

...if your first loyalty lies in another country. Go vote there...if you can.

...if you think self-esteem trumps self-defense. Self-defense makes all other rights possible.

...if you think rights come without duties. They never have and they never will.

...if you want the Government to hand you your neighbor's paycheck. You simply lack the honesty to rob him yourself.

...if everything you know came from a commercial. You have a duty to educate yourself before, during and after elections.

Otherwise...Go Vote Today!

Sharp Knife recommends the Victory Party over the Victim Party!

"Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit."-Aristotle

Monday, November 04, 2002

Jimmy gets Jiggy

Well, it's official.

Another Democrat Dinosaur has been nominated to fill another empty slot created by an untimely death...

Jimmy Carter will be the newest member of Run D.N.C. !

Mr. Carter will now be known as "Jam Master Jimmy C.".

When reached for comment in Ramallah, where he is rebuilding Arafat's Headquarters, Carter said "Can't rap wit you now... it's hammer time. Here, have some peanut Eminems".
When asked about Walter Mondale, the new rapper said " That name sounds familyuh...is he one of them Backseat Boys?".

Jam Master Jimmy promised the new album on Rabbit Records would be recorded in Havana at Che Groove Studios.

Radio Daze

Listening to the radio at work, I hear things. Stupid things.

For example, Public Service Announcements.

This has become a pet peeve of mine; there must be some federal agency somewhere that decides these things, and it seems to have been captured by the left, as with so many institutions.

I heard one about voting that says how terrible it is when other people decide for you. True, but it's much worse when non-existant people cancel out your vote and decide for you. (Honest elections have become another pet peeve...I know, it's a radical idea, but I'm hoping it will catch on.)

I also hear lots of Enviro-themed messages, which is fine, but never is there any balance to suggest people might have to work and travel. There's one in which Morgan Freeman complains how the Park Service is underfunded. Maybe they should give Utah back to Utahans, Morgan.

Rush had a guy today who said if he were President on Sept. 11, he would have declared Peace.

I'm thinking "Dude, the word is 'Surrender'!"

And if they attacked again you could declare 'Peace , Love AND Understanding'...if you escaped from the lynch mob. Public Education.

Heard a guy on 'Greenwave Radio' going on about how unpatriotic it is to drive an SUV and buy Arab oil. But we shouldn't drill for our own oil. Huh?

And then there are the election ads.

We've got a guy running for Senate who has never been elected to dogcatcher...and his Mom is doing his ads!

Maybe he was busy hunting ducks with his 'rifle' like Hillary.

Vote tomorrow...no joke!

Sunday, November 03, 2002


"Heart of a Soldier" by James B. Stewart.(2002, Simon & Schuster)

This is the biography of Rick Rescorla.

It is a gripping story of a great American and you will never forget him.

Mr. Rescorla was a British soldier who came to America, where he joined our Army to help rid the world of the blight of Communism.

He was a natural leader, a well-read thinker, a bona-fide war hero...and beloved.

As Cheif of Security for Morgan Stanley during the first WTC attack, he did what our Government failed to do; he took it seriously.

Consequently, on Sept. 11, 2001, unlike our Government, he was ready.

He saved the lives of 2,700 people and gave his life trying to save more.

God rest his soul.

You need to meet this man, Rick Rescorla.

Knowing him, we learn what heroism means. In this sense, he represents a Category of the Spirit.

Read this book.

Friday, November 01, 2002

Smoke This

Today the EU came out against a corporate conspiracy to provide deadly chemical agents to Iraq in violation of the embargo.

They accused RJ Reynolds of selling cigarettes to Iraq and laundering the money.

Evidently, not even Iraqis want to smoke Galuoises...they still have some standards.

Hey Fritz & Pierre: How 'bout you stop your companies from selling "Chemistry Made Easy" kits to Saddam?

Trying to put Joe Camel in the ICC docket and declare Baghdad's nightclubs smoke-free zones...can EUrallidiots get much more irrelevent?

Hell, let 'em smoke.

As Churchill said, it costs you nothing to be polite when you're about to kill a man.

Besides, we don't WANT Saddam's loyalists to be able to run away.

EUseless...yet Pathetique'.

Thanks to Bill Quick & Daily Pundit

for the "Bloody- Hungriest" warblog competition...Great Fun... and such a worthy cause!

Of course, my lawyers are already filing challenges due to the voting irregularities and we are giving away free cigarettes to any of the down-trodden cyber-homeless who vote for Sharp Knife!

So, like a Democrat activist at the Pet Cemetary, I'm asking for your multiple votes.

Or Andy Jackson will show up at your door, demanding satisfaction.

Do not trifle with the man.

"Hold out baits to entice the enemy, Feign disorder and crush him...let your great object be Victory..."-Sun-Tzu

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage"- Lao-Tzu

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