Monday, September 30, 2002

Nigerian Spam Sammitch; hold the Mugabe

Just got my first Nigerian Enron offering! How exciting! Got my name through the British Embassy. Derbyshire must have reported me! Hmmm...30 million bucks. All I have to do is...sounds like this lady's in trouble... I have to go now. I don't want to quit my high-paying job at Sharp Knife, but this lady needs help! Govt. officials are raising eyebrows & only I can help! Bye.

Today's Democrats: Power mad, Arrogant & Delusional...yet, Impotent!

Media: Get your lips off my Language! The word is BRIBERY.
It's not 'ethics problems'. Torch took BRIBES. The man who paid the BRIBES is sitting in jail; and the man who took the BRIBES sits in ...the Senate? If he had any honor, Torch would resign...so we don't have to worry about that! In a related story, it was reported today that the Hairy-nosed North Jersey Wombat was in danger of extinction.

"Tricky"Tom Harkin sent his Prarie 'Plumbers' into the Waterloo Complex to secretly tape-record his opponent's offices. Way to go, Tom! It worked soooo well for Nixon.Try this campaign slogan, Tom..."HARKIN"S THE ONE!"
When reached for comment, G. Gordon Liddy was unwilling...for years!

Born years too late to show up in the Chrysanthemum Palace and plead Tojo's case to the world, Reps. David Bonior, Jim McDermott & Mike Thompson did the next best thing...they booked a fabulous 6 day / 7 night tour through McKinneyTours in Sunnyyyy...Baghdad, Iraq!!!

Yes, that's right, you and 2 guests will stay in the Ritter Suite at the exciting new "Anthrax Arms" Hotel & Baby Milk Factory! You've been promised full and complete acess to all attractions this desirable vacation spot has to offer! Thrill to the famous 'Hanging Gardens of Babylon', where political prisoners are hung daily! (showtimes: every half-hour). You'll see Saddam's famous parked 747, where squads of Saudis are taught how to prevent hi-jackings...armed only with box-cutters! Everything has been made ready for your 'aid & comfort'! So pack your bags...and leave your balls behind!

Apparantly, the impetus for the trip came about when Mr.& Mrs. Joe & Stella Whormshturn of Dingleberry, Fla. gave Mr. McDermott a tape of an intercepted cell-phone call. Saddam can be heard talking to his Ba'ath Room Cabinet. "I didn't do it...and I can do it again!" says Saddam on the tape."That's good enough for me ." said McDermott.

Mr. Bonior's office said " We have been assured by the Govt. of Iraq, that Saddam has not received any large advances on his book deal. That's important to the American people!"

Rep. Mike Thompson, who was wheel-man on the get-away camel, said "What the hell. Nobody's ever heard of me anyway."

Remedial History

For those youngsters coming out of the Academic fog.

"Ich bin ein Israli" paraphrases John F. Kennedy's speech to Berliners, telling them he stood with them in their struggle against the murderous Soviets. Both JFK & RFK had rejected the appeasement and equivalence their father had shown towards totalitarianism during WWII. RFK worked for McCarthy, & JFK despised the liberals of his party, saying he would personally vote for Nixon, if he(JFK) wasn't the Dem. nominee. Teddy has become what John despised.

By the way, I date the start of the current war from RFK's asassination by a Palestinian in 1968. At least, that's when one side started fighting.

JFK ran on national defense and tax cuts, to the right of Nixon. You could argue that the conservative won in '60. If you wonder what a Gore War on Terrorism would look like, I'd say like Johnson's Viet Nam, only more schizo. Yes, that's possible...we're talking about the Tennesee Tuxedo, Old Hempry, Al in Wonderland.

Whatever else is true about Jack & Bobby, they loved this country and were serious about it.
Today, the Democrat Party is run by America-haters, America-dislikers & America-uneasy abouters...

It wasn't always so.

Sunday, September 29, 2002

A County vs. a Continent

I am a Zionist. I beleive Israel does, can, should, must and will exist. My sympathies lie with the brave Israelis and the few Palestinians who have bravely refused to be toxified. I beleive their fight is our fight, and ours, theirs. Muslims control half of Africa and half of Asia, yet obsess on a county's worth of land, the ancient homeland of the Jewish people. Indeed, they demand full control of half the county, with a transit lane through the (temporarily) Israeli half. And the "right" to flood Israel with million of Arabs, in order to end the Jewish state.

The Jews have reclaimed a barren wasteland and made it flourish, to the shame & embarrassment of the Arabs. The "Green Line" is simply where the Jews made the earth flourish, and the visible symbol of a free & productive society. This fills many Palestinians with rage, choking on their own society's stagnation, determined, not to free themselves, but to quash, and murder, those who are free.

We, and Israel, are now reaping the dividends of years of appeasement. Some things cannot be appeased.

Ich bin ein Israeli.

Saturday, September 28, 2002

...Ripped from today's Headlines..."CASANEGRA"!

In light of the politically correct decision by moviemakers to remove the Arab bad guys from Tom Clancy's "Sum of all Fears", we wondered what it would be like if today's filmmakers were somehow transported back in time...

It's 1942. You arrive in Hollywood. You manage to avoid being put in Earl Warren's internment camps and you report to your job at Warner Bros.Studios. They want you to write a movie to boost morale...

."Hey, fellas, how 'bout 'The Sands of Indonesia'?"; John Wayne takes on the brutal Malaysian Logging Industry!" (blank stares). "Okay... try this; 'The Fighting SeaBees'; the 'Duke' leads a team of military engineers on a desperate mission to retrofit POW latrines for handicap access & cultural appropriateness! It'll knock 'Ms. Minnever' right out of the theatres!" (silence). [Tough crowd!...] "Alright, I got it! This is going to be the biggest War Picture of All Time! We'll call it...'Casablanc...[too 'white'...]..."CASANEGRA'! Okay, get this; we'll get Bogart to play 'Rick' & Ingrid Bergman to play 'Ilsa', and Claude Rains as 'Capitaine Louis Renault', Prefet of the Vichy Police. (heads nod approvingly).

"Now, Bogey shows up in Casanegra , after mysteriously losing his beloved Ilsa in Paris. He's bitter about the loss, so bitter he opens a bar called 'Rick's AMcCain Cafe'! In the back room at 'Rick's', is a clinic. They treat recovering politicians with soft money & gambling addictions, Bogey's tobacco addiction, and provide speech therapy for his lisp."

"Scene One opens at 'Rick's';"

Renault: "Ricky, why have you come to Casanegra?"
Rick: "I came for the waters."
Renault: "But we're in the desert!"
Rick: "Just wait...Global Warming!"

(quizzical looks among the other writers) "Oh, don't worry, Kyoto will take care of that...it's a Treaty from Japan."
(looks of alarm in the Studio!) [ Damn, I forgot..this is 1942!] "No,no; the Senate voted it down unanimously!" (releif fills the room)."But half the Senate still wants it."(incomprehension).

"Anyway, Ilsa shows up...with her commited partner, 'Victor/Victoria Lezlo', played by Paul/Paula Heinreid.
He's the leader of the Transgendered Underground, & together, they are fleeing the pre-menstrual 'Cycle of Violence' in Europe. But they need 2 exit visas that Rick has acquired."

Ilsa: "I don't care about me, but please give Victor a visa, so he can carry on his work, so that one day, every first grader will be able to identify dental dam, if not Hoover Dam."
Rick: "Can't you just sneak in, like everybody else?"
Ilsa: "What do you mean, Rick?"
Rick:"One day, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life, millions of Muslims will flood into Europe, with or without visas! And some will try to establish Islamic Law there...could be very dangerous for your ,uh, Victor, and you could end up, ah, missing some important parts...kinda' like Victor!"
Ilsa: "What about us?"
Rick: "We'll always have Iceland!"

"Alright guys, stay with me here.The next day at 'Rick's Cafe & Clinic' ..."

Ilsa: "Play it Sam , play our song!"
Rick:"I told you never to play that song again, Sam!"
Sam:" Man, you crazy white people are oppressin' me!"
Ilsa:"You never talked that way before, Sam!"
Sam:"I never had a screenwriter from the next century before, either."
Ilsa:"Sam's right. Don't try to think for both of us, Rick. I've got my own career now."

Rick: "Out of all the gin joint/rehab clinics in the world, she had to..."
(interrupting) Bill Clinton: "Ilsa, I've always wanted to meet you. I'm gonna be President one day, ya' know!"
Victor:"Beat it, creep! And why did you sign that 'Defense of Marrige' thing, anyway?"
Bill: "I didn't wanna/They made me/ I did it at midnight and/or I was busy looking for Osama!"
Everybody: "GO AWAY!"
Bill: "Here's 'innapropriate looking' at you, kid!"
Everybody: "GO!!!"

"Next Scene: the Airport:"

Renault: "I'm shocked, shocked, to find the state of Airport Security here!"
Airport Security Man: "Here are your pictures from infidel 'Sees-through-Clothes' X-ray machine."
Renault: "Thank you"
Bill: "Can I see those?"

Rick:"The Germans wore gray, you wore blue."
Ilsa: "Rick, it was just the weekly 'dress-down' invasion Friday in Paris."
Victor: " And I wore the latest Channel."
Renault: " And we, the Vichy, pressed their uniforms & prepared excellent meals!"

Rick: "The problems of 3 oppressed workers don't amount to a hill of shade-grown, fair-trade organic coffee beans on this mentally-challenged, diverse planet; these 2 visas...priceless; For everything else, there's the Master-race Card! Now both of you get on the plane!... Hey, not you, Bill!"
( (German staff car pulls up)
Major Strasser: "Halten! "
Rick: "Hang up that phone, Major, or I'll shoot!"
(Gunfire erupts due to lack of trigger locks)
Renault: " Major Strasser has been shot... Round up the Usual Suspects!"
Airport Security Man: "But you already threw all dirty Zionists in jail..there is no one left to arrest!"
Sam: " Uh oh... I'm outta here!"

Airport Security Man: " Major Strasser, are you alright?"
Maj. Strasser: "I zink so...Who are you, Airport Security Man?"
Airport Security Man: "I am called 'the Patriarch bin Laden'."
Maj. Strasser: "Zis is the beginnink of a beautiful friendship, Ja?"
bin Laden: "Mein Jihad is your 'Kampf'! Shall we kill this infidel?"
Maj. Strasser: "Leave him. He may be useful in the future...or, should I say, useless!" (laughter, walking off together).

Bill: " Hey guys, y'all got any good titty bars in this hick town?"...Hey, guys!... Wait up!"

(telephone rings at Warner Bros.Studios)
Mr. Warner: "Hello?"
Secretary: "Mr. Warner?"
Mr. Warner: "Just a minute ; I'll get him." (hands phone over)
Mr. Warner: "This is Mr. Warner."
Secretary: "Mr. Warner, Mr. Hoover will be sending over some agents to collect your 'screenwriter from the Future'. Mr. Hoover is also very interested in having any wardrobe items worn by 'Ilsa' & 'Victor'."
Mr. Warner: "Very well. Goodbye." (click) (turning,)...Now, Jack, who is this 'Reagan' fellow you were telling me about...?"

Our screenwriter from the future WAS hauled off to an internment camp...where he was bunked with little Normie Mineta, who never forgot the bizarre Future Filmmaker of America, or his bazzar stories of airport security.

Next week: Sharp Knife preveiws Tom Clancy's "Debt of Honor", in which Washington,D.C. is attacked... by the radical Amish, using a horse & buggy filled with whale oil! We can't give away the ending, but a rogue Secret Service Agent joins a secret Cabal...the Federalist Society!

PC...it's not just the popcorn anymore!


The Coulter who tamed the West

Mr. Misha has taken up the question of Ann Coulter...and came up with the correct answer. The critics are playing the 'I'm OK 'cos she's worse than me" game, which acknowledges that one is in the wrong to begin with; then the game is played on the liberal home-feild. And it smells like old-fashioned envy. Hell, Ann could point to a lot of US in blogdom, for that matter!

Sure, biting satire is an aquired taste. But these targets need and deserve all the derision, scorn, ridicule, parody, obloquy, belittleing & harpooning by lampoon-light that comes their way. It was bad enough when their death-by-a-thousand-cuts agenda was being implemented in peacetime, but now their same bad ideas that got us in this mess are posited as the cure. No.

A lot of us are sick of the go-along crowd, and we are saying so. We get creamed too many times, and it's time to abandon the 'Oh, please like me!' routine. Ann's famous "invade their countries, kill their leaders & convert them to Christianity" is essentially correct. We know she does not literally mean 'convert'. Out here in fly-over country, we call high-flyin' rhetoric "hyperbowl". It comes on TV every New Years Day, between the Fiesta & Liberty Bowls.

Besides, she's funny.

Friday, September 27, 2002

"Kill me before I murder again!"

Saddam is screaming this to us from his untrueman balcony. He WANTS to die! And, indeed, die he must.
Stanley Kurtz has a good peice on Deterrence (NRO 9/25). His point is that deterrence has failed with Saddam, who has brazenly bitch-slapped us many times.(I won't even go into the list of other shit I think he has been covertly sponsoring).
Whether it is because he lost face in Desert Storm, or is a rabid animal whose remaining synapses tell him he must perish, or because his name is 'Leigon', he wants to be killed & we must oblige.

Let me take a moment to point to several articles that have put forth the facts of what we are up against:
Norman Doidges excellent peice here:http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/104ivafk.asp

Also, Lee Harris' analysis:http://public.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/ads/tip_popup.html

And blogger Stephen den Beste's take:http://denbeste.nu/cd_log_entries/2002/09/Whoisourenemy.shtml
and here http://denbeste.nu/cd_log_entries/2002/09/Arabtraditionalism.shtml

And of course, every word written by Mark Steyn (& Elizabeth Nickson) at http://www.nationalpost.com/home/

I assume all readers are familiar with historian Victor Davis Hanson at National Reveiw Online.

I don't watch much TV; it spares me the indignity of watching FOX cut off a smallpox expert to go to an 'Anna Nicole' update (now, if she lost a little weight..) but I caught Buchanan & Press promoting deterrence; but flay it all you will, that dinosaur is DEAD when it comes to our current enemies. Move on.

Let us now praise good men

And in my book, Rep. TOM TANCREDO of Colorado is tops. He has been waging a lonely battle ('tho somewhat less so since Sept.11) to restore a measure of sanity to our immigration policy.Even Bush has foolishly opposed him and we have a gaping hole in our security.The most recent skirmish involves a illeagal alien student who appeared on the front page of the Denver Post, complaining he can't get a student loan despite good grades. Perhaps if his family had bothered to wait in line this wouldn't be an problem! Tancredo took issue & the fun started. He was accused of having work done on his house by a contractor who hired some illegals. Of course, had he showed up at his house, asking for ID, the critics would have called him a junior police-wannabe.

Bottom line is Americans want their borders controlled. Every agency, program & policy is failing and leaking like a seive. The status quo is dangerous, expensive, divisive & threatens the cohesion of our society.

I support the Ellis Island model, but that was abandoned years ago, in favor of racialist politics, suicidal multi-cults & anarchy.



Of course, he let Wallace on the ticket in the first place; but his judgement was even worse when it came to his old friend Harry Hopkins, who was a Soviet agent, and helped to sell millions into subjagation at Yalta.(sarcasm coming). Why, it would be as if Bill Clinton's top policy advisor, HILLARY!, was found to be a Commie! Hmmm...maybe that's not the best example.

Relative to Einstein:

Despite the earlier quote, Einstein did sucessfully urge FDR to pursue the Manhattan Project, thereby saving many of our grandfather's lives in Japan, and many since. Stalin knew of the Atomic Bomb before Harry Truman did, due to Stalin's penetration of Los Alamos by earlier versions of Wen Ho Lee. FDR probably sensed his own death, and had the good sense to rid himself of VP Henry Wallace, a Socialist who was "shocked" to find out many of the people he was considering for Cabinet posts were Communists.

Algore Hisses

The anti-jeep veep addressed the Young Jihadocrats of Marin Co. yesterday, after attending a reunion of his 36 bodyguards from his 3 hr. tour of Viet Nam." I like the way y'all spell 'Marine' around here. I know what it's like to point a loaded Kodak at the enemy in anger. When I was an investigative journalist in 'Nam, I uncovered the story that there was a war goin' on over there! That's when I won my first Pulitzer" claimed Woodward & Beardstein Gore. "The other Medals came later", continued Al-vin York-Gore.

Warming to the audience, he began gesticulating wildly, 'tho unconnected to actual sounds coming out of his mouth; "I have now taken every possible position on Iraq; Pro-war, anti-war, pro-anti -war with conditions, Anti-pro war with caveats, for the UN with concerns, against the UN with grave doubts...I'm covered!" said Albert Armand Hammer & Sickle Sell-Out of his Freakish Mind the Store Gore,Jr. "And Tipper says I don't need my medications anymore. She says they make me too...ya' know, docile. I think she likes Tiger Al!" quipped Cybil Al.


A speech by Uncle Albert carries the same weight as a butterfly fart on a windy beach, only without the shimmering subtlety.
Given the ever-shifting winds of his El Nino'/ La Nina' mood swings, he can blow hot like the oozing, territory-marking spew of the rare Desert Tortoise amongst the Saguaros; or blow cold, like pustules of penguin phlegm, instantly permafrozen to a dangerous iceburg, adrift in the Shipping Lanes of political discourse. His exhortations bring to mind the infected guano emanating from flocks of rabid Bora-Boran cave bats, as seen in the movie "Night of the Living Democrat". And the smell is, of course, indistinguishable.

"Calling All Cars! Be on the lookout for escapee from Tennessee State Mental Institution! Beleived to have escaped with help of his other personalities! Report all crop circles & blood-drained animal carcasses to the Dept. of Homeland Psychiatry at once! Do not be fooled by soothing, dulcet tones promising full Federal coverage for pre-existing mental conditions or stories of a giant pink invisible rabbit named "Bill"! This guy is Dangerous, people. And, people...let's be careful out there!"

Quote of the (yester)Day:

"To my mind, to kill in war is not a whit better than to commit ordinary murder."-Albert Einstein

Uhh...'scuse me Doc, but didn't you flee the Third Reich like a drowning rat who sees daylight? Guess those Jews who fought back in the Polish ghetto were ordinary murderers. This is armchair moral equivalence, from the safety of the suburbs.(safety provided by 82nd Airborne as a Public Service.)

How does it feel to be smarter than Einstein?

Thursday, September 26, 2002

The Daily Whale spouts off

Well, lets open this imaginary newspaper and see what's going on today...for a satirist (read: smartass), going through the paper these days is like a junkie finding a key to the Police Evidence Room, just laying on the sidewalk...wrapped in a $100 bill! (junkie nervously scans street for any sign of James Carville).

"Nigeria Refuses Foreign Aid...'We Just Don't Need It!'" says Banking Minister Mkbuk Ncongame.
"Please don't send anymore money, America. Our vaults are full.In fact, we want to send some back to each and every American. Just send us your account numbers, and we'll take care of the rest!" said the Prime Ministers's brother-in-law. - Wow, that's good news. One country off the payroll, 346 more to go!

"Saudis Reinstate Slavery in Kingdom, Banned in '62!" King Lah Abdullah Abdul Lah Abdullah today decreed "By the Power vested in Me, By the Great Pool of Oil, on which I Sink or Swim, I Hereby Bring back chattel Slavery."
When asked to comment, servant-girl 'Aishia' said "It's cool. How would we tell the difference?"
-Now you just don't see that kind of employee loyalty to their owner anymore!

"Supreme Court set to rule on 'Hacky Sak' Discrimination Case". The Court heard arguments yesterday on a case that harkens back to the Casey Martin-handicapped golfer ruling. "Your Honor, dude, Billy Bong there was bogarting the Killer Bud,..." "Was Not!"..."Yes you were, man, and all I had was some ditch weed, man. How am I supposed to like, compete,ya know?" said plaintiff Ross Tafari. After a long lunch recess behind the building, the Court announced it would rule by next growing season. -I thought the lower courts were supposed to weed out these cases.

"Tropical Storm Isidore Pounds Sand Beaches on Gulf". The Justice Dept. reported it had intercepted certain Public Service Announcements which claimed that the wind from a butterfly's wing could travel the ocean and start a hurricane."We will bring to justice the butterfly who started this storm."said a spokesman with a net.
In a related story, Ex-V.P. Al Gore told the tenants in his trailer park to "buy a damn raincoat, or don't come runnin' to me when the roof leaks!" -"Here... wear this Government cheesecloth I invented."


to the wonderful people who have helped and inspired. Mike(Mr. Misha) the Rottie, Mike at Cold Fury, David at Whigging Out...what can I say but...It's your fault! Semi-normal Americans, tellin' it like it is! Thanks, Guys. (links & comments page to follow, as I learn to tie my virtual shoelaces.)

Also to the many famous & nearly-famous writers & editors who have responded to my half-formed thoughts, unbalanced rants & fawning praise...You've already forgotten my name, but, No, I've not forgotten yours! No, Indeed! (Stop...you're scaring me!)

Anyway, the reveiws are trickling in;

"Simpli-sesame"....the French Foreign Minister
"Cease & Desist!"...the NYTimes
"Hey! I gotta live in this town!"...Anon.Editors
"That's not funny...that's political Porn! Trust me..."...Bill from Harlem

Wednesday, September 25, 2002


Is this war really about Mid-East oil? I don't see it myself. There was plenty on the shelf when I left the supermarket, and reasonably priced. Besides, Greece and Italy can pick up any slack in production, 'cos Americans don't use THAT much olive oil. We generally use Wesson or Mazola or even canola...well, except for those freaks out in...Oh! You mean motor oil! Black Gold, Texas Tea! Son, you mean...Big Oil!

There has been recent speculation by some geologists that the earth constantly produces oil, like a horny lovesick teen-ager produces hormones.The mere thought of this gives Sierra Clubbers the ozone vapors & Haliburton halitosis. And when Mother Earth secretes her secrets, your Big Oil Company will be there! And like Erroll Flynn slouched down in his '40 Packard, checking out schoolgirls in the parking lot of Hollywood High, your Big Oil Company will send out trained professionals to sniff out the precious nectar, for YOUR motoring pleasure.

Which begs the question: What is 'Little Oil'?

When I pull up to the pump, I don't want to see "Fred & Myrna's Home-made Gas & Fudg Emporeim", hand-painted with two shades of left-over Rust-o-leum, on a rotting chunk of plywood... "You want you some of that dee-licious Hi-Test there, sonny? Myrna made it herself in the pee-trol churn out back, the old-fashioned way.The secret is you strain it thru some old diapers. That gets the globs out, ya see. I learnt from my Daddy. He was a moonshiner, and his daddy before. How much you want? 10 dollars worth?!! Woowee, Myrna! We got us a big spender! Churn a little faster there, Honey! Say, can I sell you $4.23 worth now, and you come back Tuesday. I'll slip a little No-Doze powder in Myrna's Joint-Ritis, and she'll whip us up 7 or 8 gallons by then! See ya Tuesday!... Say, you like fudge?"

No, my friends. I want my oil Big. Big enough to have a name I don't understand, like 'Exxon'. Big enough to be worthy of extortion by Jesse Jackson, like Texaco. Big enough to build feilds of derricks and complex refineries, before they were criminalized in the insane 'War on Energy". With Hulking Behemoths of double-hulled Supertankers, too Massive to pass through the Straits of China (formerly known as 'The Panama Canal). With Gargantuan letters painted on their Towering sides..."U.S.A."...United States...of Arabia.

Some Sisters are Doin' It!...and some are not...

Judo Kudos to the Jordanian sister who opened a goatskin o' whup-ass on her 3 tormentors recently. In a spontaneous moment, completely unauthorized by Thurston Howell Raines III & the NYT, the Arab Street rose up and applauded. A clenched fist salute to the sister!

On the American scene, however, weak sister Scottie "the Tikrit Terrier" Ritter, continues his "Victoria's Secret Agent" approach to Saddam. To Ms. Ritter we dedicate this song:

(to the tune of Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman"...)

I am Ritter, see me whore, and I will not be ignored. Tho' I know too much, I go back and pretend.
Tho' you've heard the lies before, I would tounge-mop Ba'ath-room floors, if it would get me on the Evening News again.

Yes, I am wise to Saddam's dirty game.
But he met my price, 16 minutes of Fame.
If I have to, I will say anything. I am Scott, I'm not invisible , I am Ritterrrrrrrrr!

You can rent but never own me, and I'm servin' up baloney. I'm so hungry, got to feed my own Ego.
While his bombs keep getting stronger, I'm not a patriot any longer.
waging peace for half a million at a throw.

Yes, I'm a god, Narcissus is my name.
Yes, I'm kinda odd, diagnosed with meglomain.
If I say so, words can mean anything. I am Scott, I'm not irrelevant, I am Ritterrrrr!

I am Ritter, watch me grovel, spread my cheeks, then write a novel,
As I preach inspecting arms across the world.
I get quoted by Mandela, Don't get 'tween me and a camera! Found my calling as Baghdaddy's working girl!

Yes, I give rides on Saddam's Terror Plane.
Tellin' whopping lies, Don't mind the honor stain.
If I will it, I re-write history! I am Scott, I'm indefensible, I am Ritterrrrrrrr!

You go, Girl! ...Please!

A 180 proof rebuke from our Dept.of "What Europeans USED to Sound Like":

"You ask, what is our policy? I will say: it is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival."- Winston Churchill

WTC Reduh

It should be rebuilt, with the Saudi Embassy placed in their customary penthouse. Just beneath them, as usual, could be the new State Dept. offices.This way, they could confer with the Saud slavers about the Dept. of Stability's bizarre resurrection of the Dred Scot ruling, and work out any snags in returning runaway American slave-girls to their rightful owners.
INS, FBI, CIA & Dept. of Agriculture's Office of Cropduster Loans for Terrorists in Wigs could use the rest of the tower. The UN could have the other tower, except for Norm Mineta's Air Control Booth on top, and the Clinton Annexxx Building (service by Ritter Pest Control..."We Hunt Down Your Pests...until they make us a better offer!").The dedication could be given by all of New York City's recent mayors, so they can explain their policy of non-cooperation with INS.
This could have two results: It would focus hearts & minds on the task at hand, or the buildings would be safe, being occupied by naysayers & footdraggers. To Concientious Govt. employees; Our Thanks & Carry On.

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

"Sell Your Cloak and Buy a Sword"

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